


Apartment 43

by lumassen



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Anko Family (Hetalia), Gen, Implied/Referenced Drug Use, baby iceland
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-07
Updated: 2021-01-24
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:00:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 53,119
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25773991
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lumassen/pseuds/lumassen
Summary: Sigurd is a single parent to Emil, and they've just moved in to a new apartment complex for a fresh start. Mads, their neighbour below them in Apartment 33 becomes friends with them over time, and he realises that he can help Sigurd in more ways than one. While he figures out what he wants to do with his life, Mads not only forms a friendship with Sigurd, but with little Emil too.
Relationships: Denmark & Norway (Hetalia), Denmark/Norway (Hetalia)
Comments: 107
Kudos: 98





	1. Chapter One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> EDIT: Just to clarify that the character of Natalie in this story isn't Belarus, she's an OC and I just made the mistake of giving her a similar name to Belarus :')

****

**  
Chapter One:**

For the third night in a row, just after 7pm, Mads glanced up at the ceiling and listened as footsteps thudded across the floor of the apartment upstairs. It would continue for several minutes before all went quiet again. Mads wasn't really all that bothered by it, as all he had to do was turn up the volume a little on the TV to drown it out, but he couldn't help but wonder what was going on. 

The apartment above him had been empty for a few months, but three days ago when Mads was on his way to work he got into the elevator with the removal men as they were on their way down from the 4th floor. As he got chatting to them, they’d said they were moving stuff into number 43, and sure enough later that evening Mads heard the footsteps for the first time. There were two sets of them, one soft and quick, the other heavier and took larger strides. Sometimes, very early in the morning when the world was quiet, Mads would also hear a child crying, it’s sobs muffled by the wood and plaster between the ceiling and floor of apt 33 and apt 43. It never lasted long though, stopping not long after the heavier footsteps crossed the floor to it’s aid.

As the running around continued above, Mads's curiosity got the better of him. He paused the Netflix show he was watching and got up from the couch, taking his empty dinner plate through to the kitchen and dropped it into the sink before shoving his feet into his slippers. Grabbing his keys from the table beside the front door before he left his apartment, Mads let the door click closed behind him as he called for the elevator then rode it up to the next floor. The apartment complex that he lived in was relatively new and modern, and each apartment was pretty much an exact replica of another; the only thing differentiating them was how their occupiers chose to decorate them. 

The elevator doors opened and Mads stepped out pretty much directly in front of apt 43. The corridor was exactly the same as the one on his own floor, even down to the same drab looking potted plant beside the elevator, but already Mads could see the stamp that the new occupants had put on their apartment as he approached the door. There was a bristled mat outside with some type of bird on it, Mads wanted to say a puffin, and two pairs of shoes were lined up nearly just outside the door; a well worn pair of vans and a tiny pair of crocs. He raised his hand to knock on the door, but hesitated as he heard a voice on the other side,

“ _Emil, please! The water will be cold if you don’t stop messing around_!” a male voice drifted through the door laced with exasperation, and for a moment Mads wondered if he should just go back to his apartment and leave the introductions for another time, but he was already here, so he rapped his knuckles against the door gently a couple of times and then stepped back.

Mads rocked back and forth gently on his heels as he waited for the door to open, listening as someone fumbled with taking the chain off the inside and turning the key in the lock before a blond head opened the door just enough to allow him to peer out into the corridor.

“Yes?”

Mads smiled widely, hooking his thumb in his belt loop,

“Hi, um, I’m Mads, I live below and I know you’ve only just moved in so I thought I would come and introduce myself, welcome you to the complex and all that good stuff,” he said, then watched as the face of the person before him fell a little and he opened the door a bit wider, stepping out onto the door mat.

“Look, I’m really sorry. If you’re here to complain about the noise too, I promise that I’m tryin’ my best, I just need time,” he spoke quickly, his voice was breathy and a little timid, as he wrapped his oversized cardigan tighter around his chest and folded his arms as though shrinking in on himself,

Mads shook his head, his smile faltering a little as he hurried to reassure him,

“No no! I’m not gonna complain, I mean I do hear a lot of running around at this time but it doesn't bother me!” he was just about to joke that he half wondered if a herd of elephants had moved in when a small child appeared in the doorway,

“Dad, you didn’t find my hiding place...” he said, then shrank back to hide behind the door frame when he spotted Mads,

“Hey little guy,” Mads crouched down so that he was at eye level with him. He couldn’t have been much older than 3 or 4, with pale ashy hair and smudges of chocolate around his mouth.

“This is Emil, my son. I’m Sigurd.” 

Mads glanced up at Sigurd as he moved to stand beside Emil, leaning down and placing a hand gently on his back as though to coax him away from the door,

“It’s alright Emmie, you can say hello,” 

But Emil just stared at Mads, his wide eyes full of uncertainty before trading the door frame for Sigurds leg, his tiny fists grasping at his trousers as he peered out from behind him. Mads stood up again and watched as Sigurd picked Emil up, holding him against his hip.

“Emil isn’t a fan of taking a bath,” he said with a sigh, his gaze meeting Mads’s. Now that he was looking properly, Mads could see that Sigurds eyes had dark circles beneath them and his smile was faint and strained and probably only there out of politeness. He couldn’t have been much older than him, mid-twenties at most, and Mads was a little surprised that Emil was his son. 

“The racket that you can hear is all coming from such a tiny 4 year old who enjoys running away from me, would you believe it?” 

“You get shampoo in my eyes!” Emil cried, and Sigurd hushed him,

“I don’t mean to Emmie, you know that.” he chided, taking a step backwards so that he was back over the threshold of his apartment, and Mads could tell that he didn’t really want to stay and chat.

“Well, at least I know now that it’s not elephants living above me.” he laughed as he put his hands into the pockets of his shorts and turned to leave,

“If you ever, uh, need anything, a cup of sugar or anything like that, I’m just downstairs." he watched over his shoulder as Sigurd smiled and nodded, and Emil gave the tiniest of waves before the door closed.

\--------------

“Are you still okay to cover my shift next Friday?”

Mads looked up at Alfred as he swept the floor from where he was counting the cash register and grinned.

“Of course, I gotta help my guy get to third base.” he replied to Alfred’s question with a wink and slammed the register drawer closed.

Mads and Alfred were the two full time employees at the Lego store, and the only two employees over the age of 25. The rest of the staff were part time students, and even though Mads was still young himself at 26, he couldn’t help but feel ancient compared to them sometimes. Though Mads didn’t mind his job, in fact he quite enjoyed it, he’d been pushing for a promotion for a couple of months as the current manager, Liz, would be going on maternity leave soon. 

He’d worked in the store for a few years since leaving university, and though he was perfectly happy working in retail and not pursuing a career in Social Care just yet following obtaining his degree, a pay rise wouldn’t hurt. Plus it would make it look more like he knew what he was doing with his life if he was at management level, or so he hoped.

Mads and Alfred chatted amongst themselves as they closed down the store. It was the middle of the week, and the store was fairly quiet during the weekdays so they were finished just on time and clocked out at a couple of minutes past six. 

“So I’ll see you on Saturday, I’m not back in now until then.” Alfred said as he zipped his coat up and stepped out of the back door. Mads followed, closing the staff door and punching in the keycode to lock it.

“Sure, bud! See you Saturday. Have a good few days off!” Mads waved Alfred off before walking to his car, unlocking it with the fob and sliding into the driver seat. 

*

His commute to and from work didn’t take long, 20 minutes at most on good traffic days. Mads sang along to the radio all the way home, then continued whistling the tune of the song he was last listening to as he parked up in the underground car park below the apartment complex and rode the elevator up to his floor. He flicked the lights on and tossed his keys and bag onto the couch, happy to be home.

Mads was just about to take his work uniform off and head for a shower when he heard the footsteps upstairs. It had been a few weeks since Mads had first introduced himself to Sigurd and Emil, and after about a week or so the 7pm run-around-before-bath only happened every so often, so this evening Mads was a little surprised to hear them. But it didn't sound like the tiny steps of Emil, it was two adults instead and he could hear raised voices coming through the floorboards above.

At first the voices were low, and Mads didn’t really pay them much attention as noise from other apartments was something that he’d just gotten used to over the years, but just as he was about to close the bathroom door there was a loud thud from upstairs and the voices grew louder, shouting now. 

Crossing the room quickly, Mads picked his keys back up from the sofa and left the apartment. Deciding it would be quicker than taking the elevator he took the stairs, jogging up the steps two at a time until he reached the 4th floor. 

“But Sig, I can _change_. Don’t do this, you bastard!” 

Mads peered down the hall as he opened the door from the stairwell as a woman yelled and stormed out of apt 43, turning back to glare at Sigurd as he stood in the doorway,

“Natalie, you’ve had nearly 4 years to prove that you’ve changed. You forgetting his damn birthday was bad enough. You never give me any money in child support either, but showing up to his school and trying to pick him up and _take him away from me_ -” 

Sigurd was talking through gritted teeth, obviously trying to stop himself from raising his voice. He stopped talking immediately once he spotted Mads as he cautiously approached them, his eyes darting between the woman, who Mads could only assume was called Natalie, and himself.

“Everythin’ okay? I heard shouting-” he began, but Natalie turned her anger toward him, pointing angrily into his face,

“And who the fuck are you? This has nothing to do with you, so kindly jog on-”

She stopped when Emil appeared at the door,

“Mummy are you going to stay?” 

Mads stood a little awkwardly as Sigurd’s face crumpled and Natalie bit her lip as though she already knew the answer.

“Mads,” Sigurd spoke up, his voice cracking ever so slightly, and Mads tore his eyes away from Emil to look at him,

“Can you watch Em for a minute?” he asked, holding a hand up to silence Natalie without even having to look at her, his tired eyes searching Mads’.

“Of course.” he gave the warmest smile that he could before stepping past Sigurd and into the apartment.

The inside was simple, and if anything a little bare. Toys were strewn all over the couch and living room and Mads noticed that there was no TV in the room, the empty TV stand that came with the apartment furnishings an odd addition to the room. 

“That’s my Mummy. She came to get me today.” Emil said proudly, puffing out his little chest as he looked up at Mads, who glanced out of the doorway and into the corridor as he watched Sigurd and Natalie take their conversation further away from the door before he closed it gently.

“Is that so? Where did she pick you up from?” Mads asked, following Emil into the living room and sitting down on the couch,

“My play group!"

Mads watched as Emil dove into his toy box and pulled out some Lego figures and a small bag full of Lego bricks.

"Oh man, you like Legos?" Sliding down off the couch so that he was sat on the rug with his back against it, Mads crossed his legs and pointed to the logo on his red work polo-shirt,

"I work with Legos all day." he said, then watched as Emil's eyes lit up. He scooped up more little cloth bags full of Legos and dropped them all in Mads' lap.

"That is the coolest job in the world! Dad made these for me to put the colours in, look," Emil prodded one of the bags and Mads opened it, and sure enough the bag was full of hundreds of Lego bricks all of the yellow colour. He opened a few more, one full of green pieces, one blue, and one white. While he was standing, Emil was at perfect eye level with Mads as he sat before him, and he couldn't help but smile at Emil's innocence and enthusiasm. 

"Wow, that's impressive bud, did you sort these out?" he said, then Emil shook his head,

"Dad does it for me." Emil mumbled as he plonked himself down on the rug and began building something with the bricks. He hummed away to himself as he did so, and Mads watched him for a moment before raising his head to look around the room some more. 

While there was a photograph of Sigurd and Emil on the top of the side cabinet, there wasn't really anything else that indicated of Sigurds presence within the apartment, or hinted at what his hobbies might be or what he did for work. Everywhere Mads looked there were either toys, crayons, Emil's drawings or items of his clothing strewn over the radiator or over the back of the armchair.

"What does your Dad do?" Mads said, returning his attention back to Emil, who looked up from playing with his legos to just blink at Mads,

"What?" he said, and just as Mads was about to answer him the door clicked softly closed behind them.

"Say 'pardon', Emil, not 'what'," Sigurd said a little wearily, and Emil got up and ran to him,

"Is Mummy staying for dinner?" he asked, and swung from Sigurds leg.

Sigurd shook his head and sighed softly, "No, Mummy had to go. She'll stay for dinner another time though." 

Mads got up from where he was sitting on the floor, setting the bags of Lego bricks that Emil had piled in his lap down onto the coffee table,

"Then what about Mads? Can he stay for dinner? Please Dad, please?"

Mads stepped forward, catching Sigurds eye and was about to tell him not to worry and that he already had dinner in the fridge, not wanting to impose, but Sigurd regarded him for a moment before nodding slowly.

"Sure. He can stay," he said, though his gaze remained on Mads "if he wants to?"

Mads smiled a little sheepishly, fiddling with the top button on his shirt,

"Only if it's not too much trouble, I have dinner waiting for me if not! Well, not waiting for me, I still need to cook it-" he trailed off when Sigurd returned his attention back to Emil,

"Run and set the table then please, Emmie." he said softly, and he and Mads watched as he skipped through the apartment and into the kitchen.

\---------

Dinner was simple. Slightly overcooked pasta and meatballs, nothing special, though the gesture was. Mads could tell that Sigurd was slightly embarrassed by the mismatched plates and cutlery as he'd put their meals down on the table and hadn't really said much as they ate. Emil chatted away to Mads as they sat around the table, telling him about his new after school play group that he went to until they'd finished and Sigurd sent him to go and pick a bedtime story and brush his teeth.

"I'm sorry about earlier. Thank you for watching Emil for me." Sigurd said once Emil was out of earshot as he piled up the dishes by the sink, his back turned to Mads.

"Don't worry about it. Emil's a good kid. And what are neighbours for, eh?" Mads stood up from the table, wincing a little as he pushed the chair in and it scraped across the tiles,

Sigurd stopped fussing with the dishes and turned so that he was looking at Mads, a small smile on his lips as he shook his head, "He's a handful sometimes, but you're right. He's great." 

A small silence fell between them as Sigurd dropped his gaze to the floor. Mads wanted to ask if Sigurd was alright, wanted to ask about him, wanted to get to know him, but decided that tonight probably wasn't the best for it.

"Thanks for dinner. How 'bout I return the favour sometime? You and Emil can come over to my apartment and I'll cook ya something?" he offered, grinning as Sigurd looked up again from the floor and met his gaze through his hair that had slipped over his face a little.

"Sure, I'd like that." he said, and Mads nodded before turning to head for the door.

"Emil, Mads is going now if you wanna come and say bye," Sigurd called through the apartment, and Mads' grin grew a litte wider as he listened to the small footsteps he heard so often drifting through the apartment as he came running from the bathroom, toothpaste around his mouth.

"Bye Mads! Come and play with me again, promise?"

Mads crouched down to his level, placing a hand on his tiny shoulder and giving it a small squeeze.

"Course I will, bud."

Just as he was about to stand up again, Emil gasped and took hold of his hand,

“Wait! Let’s make a secret noise!” he cried, and Mads glanced between Emil and Sigurd for a moment and watched as Sigurd rolled his eyes but still smiled in spite of his son.

“Like this, watch,” Emil went over to the rug in the living room and pulled it back a little, then bent over and knocked with his little fist a couple times in a pattern then looked over to Mads, smiling so proudly that anyone would think he'd just invented morse code.

Mads brought his hand to the floor under where he stood crouched and repeated the pattern back to Emil, rapping his knuckles against the floorboards causing Emil to squeal in delight and clap his hands together,

"Yay! We can be like spies!"

"Right, bedtime now Mr Spy. I'll be in to tuck you in and read your story in a minute," Sigurd said, clearly not entertained by the idea of his son knocking on the floor to communicate with their downstairs neighbour though he didn't say anything about it as he scampered away into his bedroom,

Mads opened the door and stepped out into the corridor and called for the elevator before turning back to face Sigurd as he leant against the door frame.

"Thanks again for dinner," he began, then hesitated as the elevator chimes and the doors opened behind him, "and if you ever need anything, Sig, you know where I am, okay?" 

Stepping backwards into the elevator, Mads watched as Sigurd pushed himself off the door frame and nodded.

"I'll keep it in mind. Goodnight, Mads."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello!
> 
> This is going to be part of a short story written for hetaliahistorynerd on tumblr as part of a gift fic giveaway so there won't be many chapters, 4 at most I think (we'll see lol) but this is just gonna be short and sweet. Gotta love the anko family.
> 
> (I also pretty much exclusively wrote this fic listening to Time Bomb by All Time Low on repeat if you wanna get a theme for the story lol)
> 
> I hope you enjoy and thanks for reading! 
> 
> -lumassen x


	2. Chapter Two

**Chapter Two:**

There was a flash, and chilling music began to play as the werewolf appeared suddenly on the screen, causing Mads to jump and spill some of the skittles he was eating out of the bag and onto his lap. The curtains were drawn and the lights were off in his apartment, and although horror movies didn't scare him, the jumpscares certainly had an effect.

He quickly tore his eyes away from the TV and looked down at his lap, squinting in the darkness and fishing around for the fallen sweets before they ended up warm and sticky and stuck to his jeans. Just as he'd found them all and popped them into his mouth there was a light knock on the front door. Pausing the movie, Mads tossed the cushion he’d been clutching to the side and hobbled to the door; his right leg had fallen asleep from where he’d been sitting on the couch too long and flicked the lights on. 

“Trick or Treat!” 

Mads had barely opened the door before Emil cried out excitedly, and Sigurd leant down and placed a hand on his shoulder to stop him jumping up and down on spot. He was dressed in a pumpkin costume, his arms sticking out comically from the home made looking paper mache shell as he held a plastic bucket out in front of him. Though when he looked closer, Mads noticed his costume had the addition of bat wings, and vampire fangs complete with fake blood were drawn with face paint beneath his bottom lip. He glanced at Sigurd for a moment, his expression already looking apologetic as he chewed on his bottom lip, before he bent over and down to Emil’s height, resting his hands on his knees.

“Wow, what do we have here, huh?” he said as he furrowed his brows, pretending to be scared as Emil bare his teeth and wrinkled his nose.

“I’m a punkin bat who got turned into a vampire by a wicked witch!” 

“He means pumpkin,” Sigurd explained quietly with a strained smile as though it wasn’t obvious by the round, bright orange costume. 

“That’s what I said, Dad. A punkin.” 

Mads straightened up and couldn’t help but smile.

“Well it looks like I’d better getcha some candy then before _I_ get turned into something by a wicked witch!” he pressed his hands to the side of his face dramatically in feigned fear and watched as Emil’s little face lit up and he turned to look up at Sigurd before turning back into his apartment. 

In all of the years that Mads had lived in his apartment he’d never known kids to come trick or treating so he didn’t have anything else but the skittles that he’d bought for himself for his movie night. The pack was still little over half way full, so he grabbed them off the couch and folded the top over as he walked back to the door.   
He looked at Sigurd for a moment and held the bag of candy up slightly and nodded towards it, silently asking if it was okay for him to give them to Emil. Sigurd almost looked relieved as he nodded and let out a small sigh through his smile. He was dressed in a shirt and tie, smart, grey slacks and polished shoes; and didn’t really look like someone who should be trick or treating with a four year old. 

“Are those all for me?” Emil squealed in delight as Mads slipped the bag into his bucket, looking between him and the pack of candy, his eyes wide.

“Not _all_ for you, you gotta share with your Dad too.” he said, then winked at Sigurd.

But Emil didn’t really pay attention to the answer as he put the bucket down on Mads’ doormat and crouched down a little awkwardly as his legs were restricted by his costume to open the bag and take a handful of the brightly coloured sweets. 

While Emil was distracted, Sigurd took a step closer to Mads and lowered his voice to almost a whisper,

“Do you, um, know if there’s anyone else in this complex that doesn’t mind kids?” he said a little nervously as he fiddled with the end of his tie, his eyes dull and tired as they searched Mads’s before he dropped his gaze to look at his feet,

“I promised I’d take him trick or treating this year but I didn’t know we’d end up livin’ in an apartment block and I hoped he would forget but he didn’t-”

“Hey, Sig, it’s okay.” Mads stopped Sigurd before he could go off on a tangent, leaning down to look into his downcast face,

“Honestly? I’ve lived here a couple years and this is the first time I’ve had trick or treaters, but there’s a few streets ‘round the corner that you could try, I guess.” he suggested, leaning his arm against the doorframe to prop himself up.

It was as though he could see the inner workings of Sigurd’s mind displayed in his facial expressions. It was clear to Mads that Sig was an introverted person who was forced to appear extroverted for the sake of his son from the way he would shrink in on himself and constantly apologised on behalf of Emil.

Pushing off the doorframe, Mads grabbed his coat from the stand by the door and shoved his feet into his shoes,

“C’mon, I’ll go with you.” he announced with a smile, and was just about to pick up his keys and flick the lights off when he realised that Sigurd didn’t have a coat with him and would no doubt freeze in the October air in just a short sleeved shirt. He looked at him as he stood gaping in the corridor and felt Emil tugging at his trouser leg.

“We’re going tricka’treating? Are we, Dad? Can we?”   
Sigurd’s expression was suddenly unreadable as his gaze flickered between Mads and Emil until eventually he sighed, waving his hands as they hung loosely by his side in defeat.

“Yeah, Emmie, we’re going trick or treating.” he said, and Mads couldn’t help but notice that his gaze was now a little cold, accentuated by the bags under his eyes as he fumbled for a spare jacket that hung on the coat stand without breaking eye contact with Sigurd. 

“Here, uh, you can wear this.”

Mads flicked the lights off and closed the door to his apartment behind him, holding his fleece lined denim jacket out to Sigurd with one hand while he shoved his keys into his back pocket with the other. Warily, Sigurd took it from him and slid it on, calling for the elevator once his arms were through the sleeves and adjusted the collar while they waited for it to reach their floor. 

“Is your name really Mads?” 

Emil asked, blinking up at Mads as he stood between him and Sigurd, clutching the bucket containing the skittles tightly in front of him. 

“Of course it is, Emil.” Sigurd chided as the elevator doors opened and the three of them stepped inside. Sigurd let Emil press the button for the ground floor and Mads watched as he stood on his tiptoes to reach it. Silence filled the small space until Emil spoke up again.

“But mad means mad.” he said, looking at himself in the mirrored walls of the elevator and pulling an angry face at himself as if to demonstrate, “And you smile too much to be mad.”

Mads laughed, then glanced at Sigurd out of the corner of his eye and caught him smiling softly and rolling his eyes at Emil.

“My name’s Matthias. Mads is my nickname.”

As true as this was, Mads never went by his full name, and he wasn’t quite sure why he was telling a nosey four year old when not even his work colleagues knew. Not that it was a big deal, just an unimportant detail, but the triumphant look on the child’s face was worth it.

“I knew it! Dad has a nickname too. Mum calls him Siggy.” he said proudly.

The elevator chimed for the ground floor and the doors opened.

“C’mon Em, out you get.” Sigurd didn’t elaborate on their conversation or his nickname, and so Mads thought it best to drop the subject as he followed Sigurd and Emil out into the main foyer. The air was chilly and instantly found any gap in their clothing once they stepped out onto the street. It must have only been a little past 7pm, but the sky had long since gone dark and the streetlamps cast orange pools of light down onto the pavement.

“This way.” Mads set off down the street, Emil waddling by his side and Sigurd following close behind. It wasn’t long before a group of kids a couple years older passed them dressed as the cast of the Wizard of Oz, and Emil craned his neck to look at them until they were far behind them before slowing his pace and reaching up to take hold of Sigurd’s hand.

“What’s wrong, _skatten min_? Are you sure you want to go?” Sigurd asked softly, taking the candy bucket from him and slid his arm through it’s handle so it was resting in the crook of his elbow. Although Emil suddenly seemed unsure at the sight of the older kids, he still nodded and nibbled at his fingernail. Mads put his hands in his pockets and walked in front of them until they reached the end of the street and more kids could be seen skipping across the road and a couple of the gardens had plastic skeletons hidden in the bushes or cobwebs on the fence and carved pumpkins on the doorstep, candles glowing softly inside. 

Sigurd crouched on the pavement beside Emil and pointed to the first house in front of them with his free hand, Emil still clutching the other, “Look, Em. Pumpkins. Perhaps we should try those houses?”

They watched for a moment as a trio of kids skipped up the path, knocked on the door and cried ‘trick or treat’ in unison and an elderly lady admired their costumes before putting some mini chocolate bars in their candy bags. Once they’d left the garden and moved onto the next house, Emil was full of confidence again after watching how it was done and bounced on the spot.

“I wanna go!”

Sigurd stood up and gave Emil his bucket back before pulling Mads’ jacket tighter around himself and the pair followed him down the street and stopped outside the house. Emil had one hand on the gate and was about to push it open when he hesitated and looked back over his shoulder to Sigurd.

“Do you want me to come with you?” he asked, and Mads saw the confliction cross Emil’s face before he puffed out his chest and shook his head.

“Nope! I can do it by myself!”

Heaving the gate open, Emil wandered up the path to the door and knocked as loudly as he could. Sigurd couldn’t help himself from at least stepping into the garden too, stopping at the end of the path as he made sure not to let Emil stray too far out of his sight. The door opened and the lady came out again, laughing at Emil as he pulled the same ‘scary’ face that he’d pulled at Mads earlier as she dropped a couple things in his bucket. Then she waved him off as he skipped down the path to rejoin his Dad.

For the next few houses, Sigurd would make sure to stand only a couple of feet behind Emil, smiling awkwardly at the people who opened the door to his son and sometimes even nodding to them in thanks as Emil became more and more excited as his bucket began to fill. It wasn’t until they’d visited the 5th house did Sigurd stay on the pavement beside Mads and they watched Emil together.

“It would have been nice if Em could’ve invited some friends tonight.” Sigurd muttered under his breath, and Mads turned to look at him.

“Why didn’t you?” he asked, and Sigurd sighed,

“He hasn’t really made any yet. He enrolled in a new pre-school when we moved here, so it’s only been a couple of weeks.” Finishing with a shrug, Mads noticed how Sig’s face would easily switch between a forced smile whenever he was interacting with Emil once he’d come bounding over to them before wandering off again up the next garden path and a strained, not-quite frown as though he were deep in thought when Emil had his back turned.

Since the incident with Natalie, Mads hadn’t spoken to Sigurd and Emil apart from the odd time he would catch them leaving in the morning, though when he did it meant they were running late so could never stop to say anything more than Good Morning. 

“I’m sure he has, y’know what kids are like.” Mads said, thinking about the groups of kids that would come into the Lego store every day, always laughing and playing with each other. He witnessed the occasional fight over the demo toys but any disagreement over who was going to get Batman and who was going to get Superman quickly settled. In a way, adults of the world could learn a lot from kids. 

“Yeah, you’re right. He seems happy enough too, I suppose I just worry.”

Folding his arms across his chest, Sigurds breath was starting to cloud around him as the night drew on and grew a little chillier. 

As he looked at Sigurd, Mads wondered how old he was, and decided that by his appearance that he probably wasn’t older than himself; and so would be in his early to mid twenties. This would mean that he would have been only barely an adult himself when Emil was born, perhaps just 18 or 19.

“It must be hard.” Mads said, his words slipping out before he could stop them, and Sigurd glanced at him for a second before returning his gaze back to Emil as the door opened of the house he was currently at.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” he asked almost hesitantly.

Mads fiddled with the cuff on his coat and shrugged.

“Nothin’. I just mean that if you ever need any help, I got a degree in Social Care and I just thought, y’know, with Natalie-” 

“Social Care? What’re you trying to say here?”   
Looking up, Mads was shocked by the expression on Sigurds face, his eyes piercing his own as the cold stare he’d first seen earlier in the corridor outside the apartment returned.

“Nothing! I swear!” Mads held his hands up in front of him, "I just- I know how it must feel to be in your position what with raising Emil and being a single parent…” 

Noticing how his words clearly weren’t making Sigurd appear any less offended, Mads stopped talking as Emil came skipping over to them, but even his little face fell when he looked up at Sigurd.

“Dad?” he questioned, his voice timid, but Sigurd just forced a smile and looked down at him, stroking his hand through his soft hair.

“It’s time to go home now, _skatt._ Have you had fun?”

Emil nodded, though he could still sense that something was wrong with Sigurd as he took hold of his hand and glanced between his Dad and Mads.

“Y-yeah, but do we have to go? What about Mads?”

Staring at Mads as he moved past him on the pavement, Sigurd let his eyes flicker over him for a moment before he shook his head.

“Mads has to go and mind his own business. We don’t need his help.” 

His tone was almost as cold as the air around them, and Mads felt his throat turn dry as he watched Sigurd and Emil walk away back toward their apartment block, averting his gaze from Emil’s puppy dog-eyed stare that he cast over his shoulder as he sat himself down on a nearby garden wall. He thought it best not to head back to his apartment just yet and allow Sig some space to walk back without feeling like he was being followed by him. 

He sat for a couple of minutes watching families and groups of kids to-ing and fro-ing up and down the street, laughing and shrieking and comparing buckets filled to the brim with sweets and chocolate. He thought of Emil’s clearly home made costume as he looked at the more store-bought ones that some of the kids out here were wearing and could have kicked himself for the way he’d spoken to Sigurd. 

Deciding that enough time had passed to allow Sig and Emil to be back in their apartment, Mads hopped down off the wall and sauntered back to the apartment complex.

Mads hadn’t meant to cause offence, and in no way did he think that Sigurd was doing a bad job, but the textbook signs that he’d been taught to look for in his Social Care classes were all there in front of him in the form of Sigurd. But there was only so much a textbook could teach him, and Sigurd was a real, living breathing person with feelings.

Looking up at the window directly above his own on the side of the apartment building as he approached it, Mads noticed that the light was on and curtains drawn, a soft glow coming from inside. He swiped his key fob over the front door and let himself in, calling for the elevator only to find that it was already waiting for him on the ground floor. 

Once inside, his finger hovered over the button for the 4th floor as he debated apologising to Sigurd and trying to explain that he hadn’t meant to offend him and instead just genuinely wanted to help, but decided that it was best to let him be for now. Stabbing at the worn button for the 3rd floor, Mads leant against the wall and rode the short distance up, his heavy sigh echoing in the elevator. 

The doors opened after no more than 30 seconds, and Mads was greeted with his own front door and his denim jacket neatly folded on the mat. He picked it up and stuffed it under his arm as he fumbled with his keys and unlocked the door, flicked the light switch on with his elbow then tossed it on the back of the couch as he stepped inside along with his keys and let the door swing shut behind him.

Noticing the time on the TV screen that he’d accidentally left on, Mads saw that it was nearly 8:15pm. Soft footsteps crossed the floor upstairs and Mads stared at the ceiling for a moment and just listened to them pacing back and forth. Then, remembering how Emil had left him last time he’d seen him in Sigurd apartment, Mads hurried into the kitchen and grabbed the broom from where he kept it tucked behind the fridge and positioned himself in the middle of the living room, working out the best he could the layout of Sig’s apartment to find the right spot. Lifting the end of the broom up to the ceiling, Mads tapped out the pattern of the secret knock that Emil had taught him in hopes that not all of the new and fragile friendship that he thought was building between Sigurd, Emil and himself was broken. The footsteps stopped and all was quiet as Mads lowered the broom. 

He was just about to press play and resume the movie that he was watching to take his mind off stewing over Sigurd when he heard the faint knocking of a tiny fist on the floorboard above, repeating the pattern, and sighed in relief.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> yes it's august yet here I am writing about halloween. fight me.
> 
> But yeah, I hope you liked this chapter cause I'm honestly not sure on it :') I'm enjoying writing Emil so much though so at least that's something.
> 
> Thanks so much for reading!
> 
> -lumassen x


	3. Chapter Three

**Chapter Three:**

“You’re _firing_ me six weeks before Christmas?”

“Look, you’ve been late five times in the past couple of weeks and over the Christmas period especially we need reliable staff. I’m not firing you, you just can’t pass your probation period. I’m sorry.”

As Mads stepped out into the back corridor to bring in some of the seasonal lego sets that had been delivered ready for black friday, he heard voices coming from the shopping centre cleaning and security office around the corner. He paused in the doorway leading back to the stockroom of the lego store with the boxes in his arms and listened as the conversation continued with a furrowed brow.

“But it’s not my fault. It’s my son, sometimes he doesn’t listen to me in the morning and I need to get him to school before I can get here. I really try-”

“I’m a mother of three kids yet I still manage to get here on time. You can’t use your kids as an excuse,” Mads heard the unmistakable voice booming down the corridor of Angela, the cleaning staff manager. She was a hard faced woman whom he didn’t like very much.

“You know, you’re what’s wrong with this generation. Kids shouldn’t be having kids. The fact that you can’t control your son isn’t my problem and I won’t have it affecting the performance of my team.”

Once she’d finished, the sound of her shoe squeaking against the concrete floor could be heard as she turned and stalked away down the corridor. Mads put the boxes down, furious at the way she’d spoken to her employee, and hurried down the narrow corridor to see if they were alright and if there was anything that he could do. Just as he was about to turn the corner though he stopped as he heard someone snivel as if they were crying, and sure enough, the longer he stood and listened, the snivels turned into sobs. Leaning against the wall and exhaling sharply, Mads shelved his anger for the time being and composed himself, though he’d be sure to confront Angela next time he saw her. 

When he walked around the corridor he found one of the cleaning staff sitting in a heap on the floor with their back against the plastered wall, the blue cap that was part of their uniform slightly askew as their hands were pressed against their face and shoulders trembling no doubt in an attempt to conceal their tears. 

“Hey bud, are you okay? Angela can be a real cow, and I couldn’t help but overhear...” Mads said gingerly as he took a couple steps toward them and listened as their breath hitched as they snatched their hands away from their face. Then he watched as their red-rimmed eyes widened as they looked up at him, and his own brows shot up in surprise when he recognised who it was.

“Sigurd?” 

Wiping his nose on the back of his hand, Sigurd hurried to pick himself up off the floor and compose himself. The tiredness under his eyes was even more prominent than Mads had yet seen, and although he pulled his shoulders back and stood tall, his emotional barrier instantly going up, Mads could still see Sigurd’s bottom lip quivering. 

“Mads, what are you doing here?” he asked, his voice husky and still tearful. Stood before him in the staff-only corridor of the shopping centre in his Lego store uniform, Mads knew that the answer to Sigurd’s question was obvious, but he clearly had only asked it to take the attention away from himself.

Still, he smiled weakly and pointed to the badge on his shirt,

“I work here, and up until a couple of minutes ago I guess you did too.” he said and watched as Sigurd fought to hold back his tears, his face turning red. 

There was an awful silence between them as Sigurd opened his mouth to speak, but no words came out which only seemed to frustrate him more as he snatched his hat from his head and tossed it to the ground angrily. Mads could only stand before him and look at him as he then ran his hands through his hair, casting his gaze up to the ceiling, down to the floor, anywhere but at Mads before he clamped his hands to his mouth again and broke down. Tears came streaming down his face as he screwed his eyes shut, and Mads quickly closed the gap between them. Placing both of his hands on Sigurd’s shoulders, Mads squeezed them and shook him ever so slightly,

“Hey, Sig, listen to me and breathe. It’s alright. Come here.” 

Wrapping his arms around Sigurd, Mads pulled him in closer and rubbed small circles against the small of his back with his thumb and just let him cry. He cried until his throat was hoarse and his words fell from his mouth in broken whispers,

“I really t-tried, but Emil’s gonna have a shit life and it’s all because of me,” he sobbed, his voice muffled by his hands still covering his face, “I don’t know what I was thinking-” he stopped mid-sentence and Mads felt him tense before he pushed himself free from his arms and took several steps back, his eyes narrowed. Though Sigurd looked a mess with tear stained cheeks, his eyelashes wet and nose running, in that moment as he stood before him Mads hadn’t ever seen anyone so strong as Sigurd was.

“But you just want to take him away from me. All you social workers do. You think you’re all so noble.” Sigurd spat. His fists were now clenched tightly by his sides and his gaze was intense enough to unnerve Mads a little.

Mads took a tiny step forward and clasped his hands in front of him, 

“I don’t want to take Emil away from you, no one does. Your son is an amazing kid, and he clearly takes after his father.” he said, an almost pleading tone to his voice. 

Sigurd continued to stare at him, but the intensity of his gaze dulled and his jaw slackened a little and Mads could see him trying to work him out until finally he closed his eyes and sighed, letting out a long breath. He ran his hands through his hair once more, this time slower and scraped it back so that it was completely out of his face then opened his eyes again.

“I was 17 when Nat got pregnant. I was stupid and like every other teenager high on whatever pills I’d taken didn’t consider the consequences when I slept with her and kept on taking them even after I found out. But then when I saw the ultrasound it struck something inside of me and I begged and begged her to keep the baby,” Sigurd swallowed thickly and brought a hand up to his chest, “I wanted to make it work. I thought I could. I hoped that once Nat held her son in her arms then she would change, but she never did. I was selfish, and I forced her to be a mother to a child she never even wanted. Angela is right, and I wish that I’d just overdosed that night instead-”

Mads scoffed, interrupting Sigurd,

“Sig, trust me when I say this, and I mean this in the best possible way, but no social worker would even be interested in you and Emil.” he said, then laughed a little and shook his head, “You keep a roof over his head, his clothes clean, his stomach full, which is more than I can say for many other parents like you. That’s not to shame them though, and no one is beyond help, but _god_ , Sigurd, all I want to do is give you a break and tell you that you’re doing an incredible job.”

Mads was trying to keep his voice low as he got his point across, but he was still furious with Angela and the fact that she probably wasn’t the first person who’d spoken to Sigurd like that only added to it. 

“I shouldn’t have mentioned Social Care, that’s not what I meant-” he continued, but stopped himself when he remembered that only moments ago Sigurd had lost his job and they were still standing in a dusty corridor at the back of a shopping centre. Now was not the time and place to get into this. Running a finger around the inside of his polo shirt collar, Mads caught Sigurd's eye and gave him a small smile,

“Look. Why don’t you and Emil come over for dinner tonight? We’ll talk more then.” Mads pressed, trying to read Sigurd’s expression as he stood before him. To anyone else he would’ve seemed so vulnerable standing in a hideous blue cleaners uniform that was a size too big for him while he chewed on his already ragged fingernails, but not to Mads. 

He took another step forward then bent down to pick up Sigurd’s hat,

“Get yourself home, but don’t get rid of that uniform just yet,” he said as he blew the dust from it and handed it back to him, “Dinner’s served at 7.”

\--------

The rest of Mads’ shift flew by, and before he knew it it was ten past five. The shopping centre would be closing in just less than 20 minutes, and Mads had never tidied Lego away faster in his life to make sure that he was done early. Once Sigurd had gone home, he’d spent the majority of his shift running over scenarios in his head and was so deep in thought that at one point he hadn’t realised that Alfred had been calling him to jump on the cash register until an angry customer came and yelled at him for not noticing the long line of ‘paying customers’. 

Thankfully it was Tuesday, and the store was dead with only the last few customers milling around as Mads left the shop floor and knocked on the door of the manager's office.

“It’s open!” he heard Liz call from inside, and Mads sucked in a breath as he opened the door.

He stepped into the room and closed the door gently behind him, grinning at Liz as she spun around in her chair. Her dress was stretched tightly over her ever growing stomach, and if it had been anyone else but Liz who was the pregnant lady refusing to take maternity leave even though she was due any day now then Mads would’ve fussed over them and demanded that they remain sat down. But Mads didn’t dare fuss over Liz as she stood up to greet him, supporting the underneath of her baby bump with her hand. 

“Mads, what can I do for you?” she said with a smile.

“I need to ask a huge favour. I wouldn’t bother you if it weren’t important.” he began, then watched as she raised an eyebrow and folded her arms across her chest.

“Nothin’ crazy! Just hear me out, okay?” Mads said quickly then followed Liz to her desk and sat down opposite her when she motioned for him to do so. 

While not going into too much detail about Sigurd and that they lived in the same apartment block, Mads told Liz about overhearing the conversation between him and Angela in the corridor and how it had affected Sigurd. Her expression grew more and more concerned as he continued until she had a frown on her face.

“I never liked that bitch.” she muttered once Mads had finished as she turned to her computer, her hands flying over the keyboard,

“I was wondering if it was okay if I finished a little early so that I can go and talk to her before I leave-”

“Of course, I was going to send you down there myself anyway-” Liz interrupted Mads then paused to wheel herself across the room to the printer on her office chair to take out a document that she’d just printed off, “-with this.” Once back at her desk Mads watched as she scribbled her signature across the bottom of the document and flashed a grin at him when he asked what it was.

*

Angela was just leaving the cleaners office by the time Mads got there, and so he called after her. She turned to look at him, the usual scowl on her face and hitched her handbag a little further up her shoulder.

“If this is about the broken urinal in the upper mall men's toilets then I already called the plumber out, they’ll be here in the morning.” she said, and Mads laughed and shook his head. 

“No, this is about you discriminating against a member of staff with childcare needs.”

Mads felt anger rising in his chest as she sighed and rolled her eyes,

“I don’t know what that boy has told you, but-”

“ _That boy”_ Mads spat, _“_ is called Sigurd, and unless you want to find yourself in the HR office alongside me and the centre manager while I explain that you harassed a member of staff then I suggest you reconsider failing him on his probationary period. This shopping centre offers flexible hours for staff with children, which you seem to take full advantage of. Sigurd will now be taking advantage of this policy too, and his contract will sit with the Lego store.” 

Holding out the envelope containing the document that Liz had signed requesting a flexible contract for Sigurd to be sub-employed under her and her store, Mads waved it at Angela and took great pleasure in the way that she snatched it from him, her mouth gaping at a loss for words.

“Any problems are to go through Elizabeta Héderváry from now on. Have a _fantastic_ evening, Angela.”

Turning on his heel, Mads turned to stalk away down the corridor, allowing a triumphant grin to break across his face as soon as his back was turned. 

\--------

It was a couple minutes past 7 when a tiny fist knocked their secret code onto the front door of Mads’ apartment. Turning the heat down on the stove, Mads slid across the wooden floor in his socks and threw the door open, smiling widely at Sigurd and Emil.

“Mads!” Emil cried as he lunged forward and wrapped his arms around Mads’ leg, nearly knocking him over.

“Hey buddy,” he said as he ruffled a hand through his hair, then looked up at Sigurd as he stood in the doorway, a strained smile on his face.

“Hi Sig, come in.”

Standing aside and prying Emil from his leg, Mads closed the door gently once Sigurd was inside. He looked better than he had done this morning, though Mads could tell that he was still bothered and had a faraway look in his eye that he hoped would soon disappear. 

“Dinner’ll be 10 minutes yet, how ‘bout we find you something to watch on TV while I chat to your Dad?” Mads suggested, bending down to Emil’s height and watching as he blinked at him, 

“Whaddya like to watch?” crouching in front of him and hugging his knees a little to his chest, Mads then remembered the absence of a TV in Sigurd’s apartment and could’ve kicked himself as Emil looked up at Sigurd.

“Peter at school says his Dads let him watch cartoons. Can I watch cartoons?” he asked, and Mads straightened up and shot an apologetic look at Sigurd. But Sigurd just nodded,

“Of course you can.” he said softly.

Nodding with his head toward the kitchen, Mads motioned for Sigurd to take himself in there before he took Emil over to the couch and sat him down. They flipped through a couple of kids channels until Emil told him to stop on a colourful looking programme of a 3D animated dog and made sure he was comfy before joining Sigurd in the kitchen.

Mads found him peering into the pot on the stove and accidentally startled him when he came to stand next to him. 

“Dinner smells nice.” he said, and Mads could tell that he still felt a little awkward as he leant against the worktop and folded his arms across his chest, shoulders hunched a little.

“It’s an old family recipe for stew and dumplings, gives off good _hygge_ vibes.” Mads said proudly as he reached for two glasses in the cupboard next to him,

“Can I get you a drink?”

After running through the contents of his drinks cupboard, Mads fixed a gin and tonic for Sigurd and a glass of cider for himself and they sat down at the table. Mads reached into his back pocket and pulled out a neatly folded piece of paper that he slid across the table to Sigurd who eyed it nervously over the rim of his glass while taking a sip.

“Trust me, Sig. Open it.” Mads pressed as he sat forward and placed his elbows on the table, then watched as Sigurd took it and opened it, his eyes widening a little and Mads couldn’t help but smile at the sight. 

“The job starts on Monday, unless you’d rather find something else. You’ll still be a cleaner, but you’ll work primarily for us, sorry, _with_ us, in the Lego store but you’ll still be employed by the centre. I can even drive you in some mornings.”

Sigurd put the paper down on the table and still kept his eyes downcast for a moment, and for a split second Mads worried that he’d offended him until a huge, genuine smile broke out across his face rather than a strained one with pursed lips. It was the first time he’d seen it, but there it was. As Sigurd's face contorted his cheeks rounded, nose scrunched a little, and Mads noticed that his teeth were crooked, but it was a smile nontheless.

“Thank you, Mads.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (hc that Nor doesn't smile often cause he has crooked teeth. Just sliding it in there.)
> 
> Anyway! I hope you enjoyed! I'm really enjoying writing this fic, and I promise it won't all be angst.
> 
> See you next chapter!
> 
> -lumassen x


	4. Chapter Four

**Chapter Four:**

The shopping centre was packed. Black Friday deal banners hung in every shop window and lines of customers spilled out of each store. Mads was stuck on the cash register and had been for the past hour and a half; his throat quickly becoming sore from not being able to stop talking and asking the same five questions over and over again. While the woman in front of him was busy fumbling around in her handbag for her purse, Mads took the opportunity to reach for his water bottle from the shelf underneath the register and took a swig. 

As he glanced out of the store and looked across the busy lower mall, Mads caught sight of Sigurd as he spoke to a man whose arms were loaded with his purchases and stopped sweeping up a pile of spilt popcorn to point towards the other end of the shopping centre, probably giving directions. 

It had been a couple of weeks since Sigurd started under his new contract, and his shifts were split between tending to the shopping centre as a whole, and the Lego store. Three times in those few weeks Sigurd and Emil had been over to Mads’s apartment for dinner, and slowly but surely Sigurd seemed to be coming out of his shell around Mads. Still, Mads had yet to find out who Sigurd was other than a father to his son. It was impossible to speak to him without Emil being around, and although Mads didn’t mind and was growing just as fond of the little 5 year old than he was of Sigurd, he couldn’t help but wonder who else Sigurd was.

“Excuse me, I said debit, are you going to set up the card machine or what?”

The woman that Mads was serving barked as she waved her debit card in front of him impatiently as he tore his eyes away from Sigurd and plastered his customer service smile upon his face. Oh how he loved capitalism and entitled holiday shoppers. 

Just as he’d finished bagging up her purchases and was about to call for the next customer, Liz came behind the service area and tapped him on the shoulder, then motioned for him to follow her; lips pursed and an odd expression on her face. Looking between the back of her head as she turned to head towards the staff area and Alfred on the register beside him, Mads watched as he shrugged at him,

“She knows it's busy out here so surely it won’t take long, dude. I’ll be okay, just be quick.” Alfred said with a tired smile before he turned his attention back to the large family that he was serving before him.

Patting Alfred on the back as he left his register and turned on the scowling customers who were probably wondering where he was going while there was still a long line, Mads slipped into the back area and caught up with Liz as she went into her office and held the door open for him with her foot.

“Sorry to drag you off the shop floor, but I just wanted to have a chat with you.” she said as she eased herself down into her office chair, and Mads didn’t like the tone of her voice as he took the other seat in the room. She took in a breath and looked at him as though working out how to let him down gently, and Mads felt his heart sink.

"I didn't get the job, did I?" he said, then cast his gaze to his hands that were clasped in his lap as she shook her head.

"Mads, look. If it were up to me I would have picked you to cover my position while I was on maternity leave in a heartbeat, but it was up to the area team and they've picked someone external that already comes from a management position. I'm sorry." 

It had been a week since Mads had submitted his application for the temporary position of store manager that would cover Liz's 7 month maternity leave, and had felt fairly confident about it. He'd even gone out and bought a couple of nice shirts and a new tie, but was glad that he kept the receipts now.

"Don't worry about it. This isn't what I want to do anyway, I just thought it was better to be a manager at my age rather than just a sales assistant, y'know?" he said through faltered laughter.

Liz flipped her hair over her shoulder then leaned her elbow against the desk so she could rest her chin in her palm,

"You've been good to me and this store while you were a student, but now that you've graduated don't you want to go into social work?" she said, her tone light.

With a shrug, Mads brought his gaze up from his lap to look at her,

"I dunno, I'm not sure I'm any good at it." 

Since Halloween, Mads had been browsing social work jobs online but every time he went to click 'apply' something stopped him as he thought back to Sigurds face that night when he'd offered his help, or how obsessed he was with the fact that Emil would be taken away from him if he accepted that help.

At University Mads excelled. He was level headed, kind, and had a desire to help people, and on paper this was great. But when it came to interacting with people that would potentially benefit from the help of a social worker, now Mads wasn't quite sure if he was right for the job; or at least was too afraid to fail.

Pressing his hands flat on his knees, Mads stood up from the chair with a smile and cleared his throat,

"But that doesn't matter right now, what matters is the long line of customers out on the floor that are no doubt giving Al a hard time." he said with an eye roll, wanting to just drop this conversation for now.

Liz sat back in her chair and regarded him for a moment as Mads waited for her to dismiss him. She had a small smile on her face as she shook her head ever so slightly at him,

"Well, even if it's just for the record, I think you'll be great. And if I come back off maternity leave and find that you're still here as a sales assistant rather than out in the world helping people that need someone like you, then I'll be annoyed." 

There was a sincerity to her voice that touched Mads, and he felt a bashful blush break out across his face as he straightened up a little and pulled his shoulders back.

"Thanks, Liz. No pressure then, huh?" he said with a smirk. He waited until Liz returned her attention to her computer before opening the door to leave and stepping out into the corridor. Through the small glass window in the door leading out onto the shop floor, Mads could see that the store was still packed full of customers and the end of his shift suddenly seemed like such a long way away. Letting out a deep sigh as he took hold of the door handle then taking an even deeper breath in through his nose, Mads cleared his head and put on his cheery smile before throwing the door open and stepping out into the madness. 

The door was just about to swing closed behind him when Mads spotted Sigurd picking his way through the store as he wheeled a mop and bucket in front of him. Sticking his leg out behind him to stop the door from closing, Mads held it open for Sigurd and smiled widely as he approached him. 

“Crazy busy today, huh?” he said, then stepped forward and took his foot off the door once Sigurd had reached out to hold it open for himself. 

Over the past week, Mads was pleased to have noticed that the tiredness that always seemed to be present and etched onto Sigurd’s features was becoming less noticeable. If they were on a similar shift, Mads would drive Sigurd to and from work, yet Sigurd still insisted that he take Emil to school and back himself on the bus without Mads and his car. At first this has confused Mads, especially as he didn’t ask for any money for gas from Sig, but the more he thought about it Sigurd was just carrying out his role as a dependable Dad who had things under control all by himself. 

Rolling his eyes and exhaling sharply so that the hair around his face blew upwards a little, Sigurd nodded.

“Black friday is just an excuse for people to spend money that most of them don’t even have in the first place. I blame the Americans.” Sigurd said with a small smirk as he slowly edged himself further through the door and into the back as though he didn’t want to stay and talk but was too polite to say so. 

“Don’t let Al hear you say that, but I also blame the Americans.” Mads nodded in the direction of Alfred behind the cash register and his grin spread a little wider. Then, just as Sigurd was about to turn to carry on with his job Mads reached out and laid a hand gently on his shoulder.

“Hey Sig, I uh, was wondering if you wanted to go get lunch with me today? How ‘bout a greasy burger or some lukewarm fries from the food court? My lunch break is at 1.” 

Sigurd stopped to turn to look at Mads over his shoulder, his eyes slightly narrowed as he tucked a stray lock of hair behind his ear as though contemplating his answer before he shrugged,

“IOkay. But I’m more of a bland, rubbery pizza kind of guy.” he said, then there was that smile again. It was fleeting, and no sooner had it appeared it was gone again as Sigurd pushed the mop bucket into the back and let the door close behind him, yet it left Mads with a warmth in his chest that remained there even after he’d jumped back on his cash register only to be yelled at by a woman demanding to be served faster.

  
  


\-------

By the time 1pm came around and Mads caught sight of just how busy the food court was he was starting to regret suggesting getting lunch on today of all days as every single table was full. 

“Oh man it’s packed! I mean, I guess we could get lunch to go?” Mads suggested, his voice raised to be heard over the noise and chatter as he cast an apologetic look at Sigurd. But Sigurd didn’t respond and instead began to weave his way through the tables. Mads followed close behind, puzzled, until they reached a small table tucked away at the back of the food court, a wet floor sign beside it and a couple of cleaning products strewn across it. Picking the spray bottle of disinfectant up and clipping it back to his belt and stuffing the cleaning rag in his back pocket, Sigurd took a seat with a smug look on his face.

“I figured it’d be busy up here, so I thought I’d reserve us a table.” he said, and Mads hurried to sit opposite him,

“Sig, you’re a genius.” Mads enthused, and Sigurd just shrugged in dismissal.

They took it in turns to go and get their food, one staying to guard the table while the other ordered from their chosen vendor. Once they’d tucked in, Sigurd and Mads ate in a comfortable silence for a little while until Mads struck up a conversation. As they chatted about trivial things, the weather, what Sigurd genre of music Sigurd liked, what he thought of his co-workers, Mads couldn’t help but notice that Sigurd’s gaze kept flickering over to the frozen yoghurt concession across the food court. 

“Whatcha looking at?” Mads asked eventually, turning around in his seat to follow his gaze. 

Sigurd returned his attention to his pizza and shook his head,

“Nothin’.” he mumbled before taking a bite then pulled a slight face and started to pick off the olives and discard them onto his paper plate.

Swiveling back around again to face Sigurd, Mads started on his burger, trying his best not to let any ketchup ooze from the sides and drip onto his lap. His plan to find out more about Sigurd wasn’t going very well as he seemed distracted, only really half paying attention to Mads’ questions and his answers were short. Mads was just about to ask if he was alright when suddenly Sigurd’s eyes widened and he looked beyond Mads’ shoulder.

Looking behind him once more, Mads caught sight of Anya, the girl who worked the frozen yoghurt stall, walking towards them with a small tub of it in her hand. 

“Oh my god, she’s coming over here,” Sigurd whispered quickly, and Mads’ felt his jaw slacken a little when he realised not what, but  _ who _ , Sigurd had been looking at.

“Hey, Sig. Um, Kat got an order wrong for a customer and it seemed a shame to waste this.”

Putting the plastic tub of frozen yoghurt down on the table gently, Anya smiled a little shyly as she caught Mads’ looking at her, and Sigurds’ face turned bright pink as he muttered an almost incoherent ‘thank you’. Anya hovered by the table for a moment, probably waiting to see if Sigurd would say anything else, but when he didn’t she turned on her heel and walked back over to her counter.

“Oh my god, Sig, what was  _ that  _ about?” Mads cried, and Sigurd hushed him as he pulled his cap down a little further on his head to hide his face. 

Unable to hide his curiosity, Mads put down his half eaten burger and shuffled forward so that he was sitting on the edge of his seat and leant his elbows on the table,

“You  _ like _ Anya?” he teased, then grinned as Sigurds head snapped up to glare at him.

“No,  _ she _ likes  _ me _ . I just helped fix one of the freezers and cleaned up the water that had leaked from it.” Sigurd answered back sharply, but Mads just raised his brow,

“Oh, so you’re a handy-man too, then? No wonder she likes you.” Mads said, a cheeky grin spreading across his face.

At this remark, Sigurd stood up from the table, the metal chair clattering across the floor as he did so, and began to gather their rubbish left over from their lunch. Snatching up the remains of his burger before Sigurd could clear it away, Mads too stood up and watched as he dumped their trash in the bin then quickly sprayed and wiped down the table.

“Sorry, I don’t mean to tease ya. She’s really pretty, bud.” 

Mads nudged Sigurd in the side with his elbow as they made their way back to the store, relieved when he saw the tiniest of smiles on Sigurd’s face. The shopping centre rush didn’t seem to be dying down any time soon, and when the pair of them reached the store Mads stopped in his tracks and dragged a hand through his hair at the sight of the line of customers now spilling out of the Lego store and down the walkway. 

Turning to look at Sigurd, Mads sighed heavily. 

“Suddenly you seem to have the better job out of us both, yet you're the one who's gotta clean toilets.” he said, wearily.

  
  


\--------

Alfred and Mads let out a cheer and clapped as Liz rolled the shutters down at 5pm, and neither of them had ever been more glad to see the end of a Friday shift. 

“Well done for today boys. Here, these are for you,” stepping away from the shutters once they’d rolled down all the way to meet the floor, Liz turned to Alfred and Mads with two small envelopes in her outstretched hand. Taking the one with his name scrawled on the front from her, Mads peered inside to find a couple of 20 notes and beamed at her.

It took all three of them a little while to get the store back to normal ready for opening for the weekend trade. Liz re-stocked and tidied the shelves while Mads and Alfred crawled around on their hands and knees trying to locate every stray piece of lego from the demo sets that had been ransacked throughout the day until it was time for them to clock out. The rain was pouring outside now and the sky was already dark by the time they said their goodbyes. It would be easier to back his car out once the others had gone, so Mads let Liz and Alfred dash to their cars first and waited until they were out of the car park and safely away until he stepped outside to lock up the back door. He’d only been standing out in the rain for little under a minute while he secured the door but was already soaking wet by the time he got into his car. 

The radio blared through the speakers when Mads started the ignition, causing him to jump out of his skin as he fumbled to turn the volume down and cursed his past self for leaving it on this morning before backing out of the car park. Despite being out of work, Black Friday still wasn’t behind him just yet, and the traffic along the main road was gridlocked from everyone all heading home after a hard day of spending too much money.

Drumming his fingers a little on the steering wheel as he waited for someone to be kind enough to stop and let him out of the car park, Mads turned to look out of the window absentmindedly. His gaze fell upon a figure huddled beneath the shelter of the bus stop, feeling bad that they would’ve probably been standing there a while as there wouldn’t have been a bus in a while due to this traffic. He watched them for a moment as they rubbed their arms in an attempt to warm them then hurried to roll the window down when he realised who it was.

“Sigurd! Sig! Over here!” Mads shouted into the rain, and Sigurd peered around the shelter and squinted at the car, then to Mads’ surprise came running over and yanked the door open and slid into the passenger seat. The ends of his hair were dripping wet and the rain had soaked into his jacket, turning the fabric dark. 

“Mads, I wouldn’t normally ask but if I give you directions can you take me to Em’s school? Please? My phones died and I should’ve been there to pick him up half an hour ago but the bus-” Sigurd’s words fell from his mouth as he buckled his seatbelt, and Mads flicked the indicator to signal that he wanted to turn in the opposite direction.

“Sure, bud. It’s downtown, right?” he said, keeping his voice calm as he pulled out onto the mainroad. Luckily the traffic flowing away from the city centre was moving, albeit a little slower than usual. Sigurd’s leg was jittering as he kept his gaze out of the windshield and stared at the red tail lights of the cars in front of them as if willing them to move faster. 

“So, how’s Emil doing? He mentioned a kid called Peter a couple times when you were round for dinner.” Mads asked, part of him genuinely interested in the wellbeing of little Emil, while another part of him wanted to try and ease the silence in the car that the songs on the radio couldn’t quite do.

Sigurd tore his gaze away from the road and looked at Mads for a moment as he slicked his hair back out of his eyes,

“Yeah, they’re friends I guess. He seems a bit boisterous, but Em has less energy in the evening now after being tired out by playing with him so at least that’s a plus.” Sigurd said, a fondness to his tone of voice as he spoke about Emil that was ever present. 

Mads chuckled, thinking about how he’d noticed the 7pm run around becoming less and less frequent as the weeks had gone by.

Once they’d turned off the main road, the traffic was flowing faster now as Mads weaved in and out of the side streets to avoid the worst of it until they reached the school. 

“Can you pull in here?” Sigurd asked and pointed to the kerbside around the side of the school. Mads obliged and bumped the car up onto the pavement and kept the car running while Sigurd hurried out of his seatbelt and threw the car door open. A teacher was just locking up the front gates as Sigurd approached her, but as Mads watched them converse his brows narrowed as Sigurd seemed to be growing more and more frantic, his arms flying around as he spoke to her through the gate. 

He wrung his hands in front of him, looking up and down the street in a moment of panic as the teacher cast him a sympathetic look before hurrying back inside the school and out of the rain. Leaving his keys in the ignition, Mads opened the door and stepped out of the car and onto the pavement as Sigurd made his way back over,

“What’s wrong? Where is he?” Mads pressed, leaning on the car door.

Sigurd's expression was nothing short of fury, his stare cold beneath the saturated strands of his hair,

“Natalie.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I fucked up a little here, but Natalie isn't Belarus :')
> 
> Sorry if that's the impression that you got and idk why I picked Natalie as a name for Emil's mum, but she's an just an OC. I realised that I'd fucked up when it came to introducing Anya, who is _actually_ Belarus and I remembered that her human name is Natalya. oops.
> 
> If I confused you I apologise!
> 
> Also, idk if it helps but Sigurd is 23 in this fic, so although he has to adult™️ as a dad, he's still kinda young so sorry if he appears sort of ooc.
> 
> Oh and y'know how I said that this fic would be short with only 4 or so chapters? Yeah I lied about that.
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter, and thanks for reading ♥️
> 
> -lumassen x


	5. Chapter Five

**Chapter Five:**

Mads squinted through the windscreen as the rain pelted down and the wipers bumped to and fro on their highest setting. Sigurd sat in the passenger seat staring down at his phone, his thumbs working quickly over the keyboard as Mads glanced at him.

“Hey, do I need to turn up here?” Mads asked as he slowed the car down a little, giving Sigurd time to look up and out of the window.

“Straight over at the lights then a right when you see the chinese takeaway on the corner.” he said, his voice quiet before dropping his attention back to his phone again.

Gripping the steering wheel a little tighter, Mads pulled his shoulders back and returned his attention to the road ahead. 

When they’d got back into the car, Mads had offered to help Sigurd in any way that he could, and instead of being met with hesitation, Sigurd buckled his seatbelt and asked him to drive him to Natalie’s mother's house. Though Natalie was no longer on the list of Emil’s guardians, her mother, Gillian, was. 

“It’s not good for Emil to be there. Gillian treats him like a baby, and Nat, well… let’s not go there.” Sigurd mumbled, still keeping his attention focused on his phone, his foot tapping impatiently in the footwell.

Just as Sigurd said to, Mads crossed over the junction and took a right turn when he spotted the takeaway. They pulled onto a side street made up of rows and rows of red brick terraces. A couple of the gardens were overgrown, and piles of litter and bin bags lined the pavement.

“Here. This house.” Sigurd said, pocketing his phone and unbuckling his seatbelt while pointing to the second to last house on the end. Mads had barely brought the car to a stop against the kerb when Sigurd opened the door and got out, pushing the rusty iron gate open and hurrying up the path.

Turning the engine off, Mads got out and grabbed his umbrella from the back seat. He locked the car then opened it up, holding it over himself and Sigurd as they waited for the door to open. There was a tiny plastic slide in the garden covered in fallen leaves, and the remains of a moulding pumpkin leftover from halloween sat on the doorstep. When no one answered the door, Sigurd knocked again harder then tried the handle, but it was locked.

“Natalie. It’s me. Let me in. Please?”

Sigurd called through the door, leaning against it a little. A dog barked in the distance, and the rain had started to seep through Mads’ shoes by the time keys rattled in the lock on the other side of the door. Sigurd stood back a little as it opened just wide enough for someone to peer out. A middle aged woman stared at him for a moment, eyes narrowed, then her expression suddenly changed when she noticed Mads standing behind Sigurd and opened the door wider.

“Oh, Sigurd! We were worried that something had happened when you didn’t show up to pick Emil up. The school couldn’t reach your mobile so they phoned me. Come in.” she said, glancing between Sigurd and Mads, a fake looking smile plastered on her face.

Mads couldn’t help but feel like he was intruding as he put the umbrella down and left it propped up on the doorstep before following Sigurd inside. Gillian was a short, stocky woman, her dark brown hair streaked with grey. 

“It was the traffic, I’m sorry. Look, I’ll just take Emil and we’ll be out of your hair.” Sigurd stood in the hallway, making no attempt to take his shoes or coat off, and instead clearly wanted to just take Emil and go. But Gillian shook her head.

“It’s no bother, Emil is always welcome here.” 

Yet again there was a falseness to her voice. Although it didn't seem like any malice was intended, Mads didn't miss how Gillian hadn't included Sigurd as being welcome in the house; only Emil. 

"And who's this?" She directed her attention to Mads, looking up at him with an overly sweet smile. He took a step forward holding out his hand toward her, 

"Mads. I'm a friend of Sigurd's. He was worried about being late for Emil so I offered him a lift." he said as he shook her hand.

Sigurd was hesitating by the door, and Mads could see him watching Gillian with narrowed eyes. Then as laughter drifted from the living room he hurried out of his jacket and took his shoes off. 

“Do you want to stay for dinner? I’m making-” Gillian began, turning towards the kitchen when Sigurd interrupted her.

“No thank you. I’ve got stuff at home.”

Gillian stood in the hall for a moment, an incredulous look on her face as she regarded Sigurd before shaking her head and storming off into the kitchen.

“Sorry about this. You can go if you like.” 

Turning to Mads, Sigurd looked uncomfortable, fiddling with the hem of his work shirt as he stood before him in the dim hallway. 

“Nah, it’s cool. Besides, you’ll probably need a ride home from here.” Mads said with what he hoped was a reassuring smile, kicking off his own shoes as Sigurd nodded weakly and brushed past him to head into the living room. As Mads put his trainers out of the way beside Sigurd’s worn Vans that he wore every day he noticed that there was a hole in the bottom of the right one. 

After taking his coat off and draping it over the coat hook, Mads joined Sigurd in the living room just as Natalie was getting up from the couch. Emil stood in the middle of the rug, transfixed as he watched Grand Theft Auto being played on the TV by someone who Mads could only see the back of their head as they sat on the couch. 

Natalie gave Mads a shy glance, her arms crossed tightly across her chest. She had her hair scraped back and twisted up into a bun on the top of her head and wore a slightly tattered grey hoodie. Mads studied her a little, noticing now that he was looking at her properly where Emil got his button nose and dimpled chin from. 

“Hi Sig. How are you?” she mumbled, then chewed her lip as the air quickly grew awkward between them. 

“Fine. Thanks for picking Emil up, but we’re not staying. He’s got homework to do, and he shouldn’t be seeing those sorts of games.”

Sigurd nodded toward the TV as he spoke, and Natalie rolled her eyes. 

“Kids his age don’t _need_ homework-”

“Yeah, well they don’t need to learn about drugs and gangs either, do they, Nat?” Sigurd spat, eyes flickering between Natalie and the game on the TV, and Mads was a little taken aback by his tone. Usually rather soft spoken, Sigurd’s voice had a warning edge to it and his gaze was intense as it held Natalies’. 

“Dad! You’re here!”

Suddenly the tension dissolved when Emil turned around and spotted Sigurd, running over to him. Mads then watched as Sigurd’s expression and body language changed entirely as he crouched down to bring his son into a hug. Emil threw his arms around his neck and nestled his fists into the hair that fell about the crook of Sigurd’s neck as he picked him up.

Sigurd swayed back and forth ever so slightly, his own arms wrapped tightly around Emil as he held him close. 

“I bought him some new shoes. I guessed that his old ones would be getting a little small.” 

Natalie’s tone was light as she picked up a plastic bag from beside the couch and took out a cardboard shoebox. Inside was a tiny pair of black and white trainers, and she held one up to show Sigurd who seemed less than impressed. 

“How much were they? Adidas stuff isn’t cheap, and he’ll soon grow out of them.” he questioned as Natalie put the shoe back into the box with an exasperated sigh.

“It doesn’t matter how much they were, I just wanted to buy my son a new pair of shoes. I didn’t realise that I had to run that past you.” 

Natalie shoved the shoe box back into the bag and thrust it at Sigurd, and Mads suddenly felt very awkward as they glared at each other while Sigurd snatched the bag from her. 

“Do you like them, Dad? They’re like Peters at school.” Emil’s voice was quiet as he looked at Sigurd with wide eyes, studying his father's face for his approval.

Sigurd turned to look at Emil, a strained smile on his face, “Of course I do, _skatt_ , it was nice of your Mum to get those for you, though I’m concerned as to where she got the money for them.” 

Emil caught Mads’ eye over Sigurd’s shoulder, his expression full of uncertainty as he looked at Mads. Mads smiled at him for a moment before Sigurd began to put him down.

“Why don’t you go and get your things, Emil? I just need to talk to your Mum for a moment.” Once Sigurd had set Emil down he remained crouched at his height for a moment and spoke softly, then glanced up at Mads and pushed his hair behind his ear,

“Mads, can you watch him for a moment?” 

Natalie threw her hands up in the air at this and let out a sharp breath,

“Sig, he’s in his Grandma’s house, he doesn’t need _watching_ . Especially not by this guy who we don’t even _know_.” 

She was clearly trying hard not to raise her voice as she spoke through a clenched jaw while staring at Mads, her eyes narrowed.

“We do know him, mummy, his name is Mads.” Emil said from between them proudly, and Mads couldn’t help but smile. Though the tension between Sigurd and Natalie might have been obvious to him, Mads knew that all Emil saw right now was his parents talking and nothing more. He didn’t understand passive aggressive comments or accusatory looks. 

“C’mon bud, where’s your school bag? Shall we get your things like your Dad asked?” 

Cutting between Sigurd and Natalie, Mads moved into the centre of the living room and perched himself on the edge of the couch arm. Sigurd and Natalie disappeared into the hallway and Mads was left with Emil and the guy playing GTA. Emil walked back and forth in front of the TV a couple times, and the guy moved to look around him every time he did so until he eventually grew exasperated and paused the game, setting the controller down beside him then leaning back into the couch cushions. 

It was almost as though he hadn’t been paying attention to anything that had been going on in the room, and so seemed genuinely surprised when he turned to look at the other couch opposite and his gaze fell upon Mads.

“Oh, sorry mate, didn’t see you there. Are you, uh, a friend of Nat’s or what?” he asked, placing his hands behind his head and leaned back into them. He had dark hair that was cropped short and wore a black tracksuit. He couldn’t have been much older than Sigurd, with acne scars covering his cheeks and his chin. 

“No, I’m Sigurd’s friend actually.” Mads replied cheerfully, glad of the fact that he could confidently refer to Sigurd as his friend and no longer just his neighbour. 

“Sigurd? Oh, Nat’s ex, right. Well, I’m Michael, Nat’s boyfriend.” Michael said as he sat forward and then stood up from the couch and stretched lazily, his tracksuit hoodie rising up just enough over his stomach as he did for Mads to spot a tattoo of another girl’s name just visible above his waistband. 

Emil may as well have not been in the room, and Michael paid no attention to him as he pulled his phone out from his pocket and began to scroll through it. Mads watched as Emil gathered up some pencil crayons from the floor and stuffed them into his little rucksack before zipping it up and coming back over to Mads with a piece of paper in his hand.

“Look, I drew this picture. I watched Michael drive the super cars on the game, and I’m going to have a blue one when I’m big!” 

Placing the drawing in Mads’ lap, Emil bounced up and down on the spot eagerly. 

“Wow, this is really cool, bud. Your colouring is so neat!” Mads enthused as he picked up and drawing and looked at it. Emil beamed, then scrambled up to sit on the couch beside Mads, kicking his legs over the edge. From the hall, Mads could hear Sigurd and Natalie beginning to raise their voices, and it wasn’t long before Sigurd appeared back in the room.

Michael looked up from his phone as he did so, and the two of them exchanged glances sharp enough to cut glass before Sigurd looked to Emil and beckoned for him to come to him.

“Come on, Emil. It’s time to go. Have you got everything?” he asked, and Emil nodded, sliding off the couch and taking hold of Sigurd’s hand when he reached him. Mads nodded to Michael as he walked by him to follow Emil and felt his eyes on the back of him as they left him in the living room. 

Sigurd had shoved his feet into his shoes and was just helping Emil into his coat when Natalie came flying down the stairs.

“Here, take this if you’re so fucking desperate for it.” she muttered as she held out a couple of 20 notes. 

Sigurd looked up from where he was zipping up the front of Emil’s coat and scoffed,

“I’m not desperate for money, all I’m saying is that you should _want_ to provide for your son. I shouldn’t have to ask.” 

Not making any attempt to take the money from Natalie, Sigurd stood up and put on his jacket, though it was still damp from the rain.

“I don’t need your money, especially if you got it from him.” Sigurd pointed angrily toward the living room door where Mads could hear the sounds of gunshots and americanised voices coming from the game that Michael had resumed playing. 

A choked noise left Natalie’s throat as she opened and closed her mouth, searching for words, but eventually she just gave up and closed her fist around the money and dropped her hand loosely by her side as Sigurd threw the front door open.

“Wait, Dad! I forgot my new shoes!” Emil cried, pointing back toward the house.

Mads stopped in the doorway on his way out, and Sigurd looked torn as he hesitated half way down the garden path before letting go of Emil's hand and shooing him back toward the house. Standing aside to let Emil pass him, Mads watched him scamper back into the house and disappear into the living room. Natalie sank down and sat on the bottom step of the staircase, her head in her hands, and when Emil came back into the hallway clutching the plastic bag containing his shoes he crept toward her, standing up onto his tiptoes to place a kiss to her cheek. 

She looked up, and Mads was sure that tears were threatening to fall from her eyes as she looked at Emil. 

“Goodbye Mummy.” he whispered, and Natalie cupped his cheek, pinching it affectionately between her fingers.

“Goodbye, sweetheart. I’ll see you soon. Take care of your Dad, okay?” she whispered back, then her eyes met with Mads’ from where he was still standing with one foot over the threshold. There was the faintest hint of a strained smile as she nodded at him, hugging her knees close to her chest when Emil left her side and ran back out of the house to join Sigurd by the car. 

“Bye, Natalie.” Mads said, and gave Natalie a soft smile before closing the door behind him and quickly strode down the path to his car. 

Sigurd sat in the back seat with Emil on his lap, gazing out of the window as Mads drove them back home. The rain hadn’t eased, and the sound of it battering down on the roof was almost deafening as the silence only grew the longer Sigurd stewed. Eventually, Mads turned on the radio low and tapped his finger on the steering wheel along to the beat of the song, glancing in the rearview mirror every now and again, and every time he did Emil’s eyes had grown heavier until he fell asleep curled up against Sigurd’s chest. 

There was so much that Mads wanted to say to Sigurd, but every time he strung a sentence together in his head the words died on his tongue and instead he continued to drive in silence until they pulled into the carpark below the apartment complex. The car shuddered to a stop as Mads pulled into his parking space and turned the engine off.

"Sigurd, I don't know what happened back there, but..." Mads began, unbuckling his seat belt then turning around to face Sigurd in the back seat, but his words trailed off when he caught his warning expression. 

"I appreciate your help, Mads, I really do, but please don't get involved." he said, shaking his head slowly, and Mads felt his brows furrow involuntarily.

"It's kinda hard to not get involved though. I'm not saying this for brownie points, but I sorta helped you keep your job and I give you rides to work, plus I've watched Emil a couple times. And now after this evening I'm involved whether you like it or not." Mads' words fell from his mouth before he could stop them, and once he'd finished he pursed his lips and just looked at Sigurd for a moment before he sighed and carried on, "Look, all I'm saying is maybe you should give Nat a chance."

Sigurd didn't say anything for what seemed like a painfully long time, and Emil stirred slightly, snuggling closer to Sigurd and curling his hair within his little fists.

"I can't." was all he could say eventually, and Mads knew better than to keep pressing when discussing what was clearly a touchy subject that he didn't really know too much about. But he couldn't forget the look in Natalie's eyes as she looked at Emil while sat in a heap on the bottom stair. Sigurd had quite happily left without saying so much as goodbye to her. 

Snatching the keys from the ignition, Mads swung the car door open and got out, closing it gently so to not wake Emil. He then walked around the car, shoving his keys in his pocket, before opening the rear door for Sigurd. Emil whimpered a little in his sleep as Sigurd shifted on the back seat to swing his legs out, and Mads extended a hand toward him which he took, holding Emil tightly in one arm while hauling himself up with the other in Mads' grasp.

"Thanks." he said as he closed the door and Mads locked the car, the lights flashing orange against the grey brick wall of the underground car park. 

Even under the cover of the car park, the November air was cold, and their breath clouded around Sigurd and Mads as they walked to the elevator. Shoving his hands in his pockets, Mads watched the elevator floor counter above the doors count from 6,5,4,3,2,1,0 before they opened and he stepped inside, followed by Sigurd.

"I'm sorry. It's not my place to get involved. I just," Mads hesitated, glancing at Sigurd as he held Emil tightly, "I care about you guys."

Sigurd's fine brows rose in surprise as he turned to look at Mads, and Mads caught sight of his reddening face in the mirrored walls of the elevator behind him. Then, it chimed as they reached the 4th floor, and he hurried out, stopping just in front of Sigurd's front door.

Sigurd fumbled in his jacket pocket for his keys, and Emil’s eyes fluttered open at the harsh sound of them jangling as he put them into the lock.

He looked at Mads, his eyelids still heavy and his placid expression still heavily laced with tiredness, then he moved his head to peer up at Sigurd.

“Do I have to take a bath tonight?” he mumbled, and Mads found himself smiling fondly.

“Not tonight, _elskling.”_ Sigurd replied _,_ his voice calm as he pushed the door open and stepped inside.

Once inside, Sigurd put his keys down on the table by the door and turned to look at Mads.

“Thank you, Mads. And… I’m sorry about you dragging you into all this.”

He hung his head a little and shifted Emil further up where he was holding him against his hip when he began to slip. 

“Emil’s very fond of you, as am I. We care about you too.” 

Now it was Sigurd’s turn to become red in the face as he averted his gaze, staring at the doormat at his feet, and Mads was reminded of the very first time he met Sigurd. He was standing in the same position in the doorway, Emil on his hip, an unsure expression on his face. The only difference was that they were now friends instead of strangers.

A smile stretched from ear to ear as Mads straightened up, taking a step backwards toward the elevator. He fumbled for the button behind him on the wall, not taking his eyes off Sigurd, and once he’d found it and pressed it the doors opened right away, the elevator having not left their floor. 

“Well, see ya Sigurd.” Mads said as he backed into the elevator, and Emil waved a sleepy hand at him while Sigurd began to close the door.

“Bye, Mads. And thank you again.”

The door to Apartment 43 closed just as the elevator doors did, and once Mads stepped out again on the next floor down and entered his apartment, he flicked the lights on then made a beeline for the fridge. Taking out a cold beer and cracking it open, Mads flopped down onto the couch and took a long sip. 

He lay there for a moment, staring off into space, taking a few more swigs of beer before pulling his phone out from his pocket and opening up google.

Sitting up a little so he could see the screen, Mads typed awkwardly with just his thumb and one hand then hit enter, watching as the search results page loaded displaying results for ‘ _social work jobs in my area_ ’.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I accidentally deleted like half this chapter then re-wrote it so sorry if the ending is kinda abrupt I was annoyied already and then I wasn't sure where to end it lol
> 
> But! I hope this chapter was alright, and I genuinely apologise for using OC's in my stories. I know it can be a little off-putting but I do enjoy creating characters to better tell the story rather than using canon or official character that might not 100% fit the narrative I'm trying to go with. I hope you don't mind :')
> 
> Thanks for reading and I'll see you all next chapter <3
> 
> -lumassen x


	6. Chapter Six

**Chapter Six:**

December 1st brought with it an icy wind that blew the sleet that was falling outside horizontally across the window. Mads was a creature of comfort, and so he lay buried under two blankets on the couch with a mug of cocoa, the lights in his apartment dimmed as he watched the weather outside. He sat for a little while, enjoying the slow pace of a midweek day off work and listened to the drumming of the sleet on the window, taking a sip of cocoa every now and again until the mug was empty.

Mads then set the mug down on the floor in front of the couch and sat up, tucking the blanket around his legs as he stretched them out and reached for his laptop from the coffee table. When he logged onto his email his breath hitched in his throat for a moment as he saw three new emails sat in his inbox, but he soon deflated when each one of them was a rejection email for the jobs that he’d applied for earlier in the week.

“How am I meant to get experience to qualify for these jobs when I can’t  _ get _ a job to  _ gain _ the experience?” Mads muttered to himself under his breath as he stabbed his finger on the mouse pad, deleting the emails. He must have applied for five or six different social work jobs, all of which he’d been unsuccessful in applying for due to his lack of experience. Nobody wanted to hire anyone fresh out of college, and Mads was sure that the fact that the only other job experience he had was working at the Lego store was probably ruling him out as a potential candidate almost automatically. 

Clicking out of his emails and pulling up the job site that he'd been searching on, Mads started to scroll through all of the full time jobs available in the area, not specifically for something relating to social work, but just  _ anything _ that was a step up from the Lego store. Perhaps an office job or an administration assistant would do. He kept scrolling and had just hovered his cursor over a data inputting job at a local insurance company when the secret code that Emil had made up sounded through the floorboard above. Compared to the excited rapping of Emil's tiny fist or the stamping of his foot, the patterned knocking this time was a lot quieter, more delicate, and if the TV had been on the Mads probably wouldn't have heard it.

Mads looked up at the ceiling, smiling to himself at the thought of Sigurd upstairs probably crouched on the floorboard as he knocked his knuckles against them. Kicking off the blankets off and closing his laptop, Mads left it discarded on the couch while he slid across the hardwood floor to the kitchen and grabbed the broom. With the end of the handle raised to the ceiling, he tapped out the code in reply. Then, not much more than a minute or so later, just as Mads had put the broom back and was returning to the couch, there was a soft knock at the door. 

When Mads threw it open, Sigurd was standing on the other side. He didn't have any shoes on, and stood a little shyly on the doormat in his socks with a cake tin in his hands. 

"Hi Mads. Uh, sorry to bother you on your day off, I wasn't sure if you'd be in, but I just wondered if I could talk to you about something?" Sigurd mumbled, fidgeting a little on the spot.

Mads smiled widely and held the door open, stepping aside to let Sigurd into the apartment, "Of course you can! And you're not botherin' me, not at all!" 

Once Sigurd was inside Mads closed the door and brightened the room, turning the ceiling light on before following him into the kitchen.

“I’ve been practicing with some yule cake recipes so I thought I’d bring one for you. It’s fruitcake so it’ll keep ‘til Christmas.” Sigurd said as he put the cake tin down on the kitchen counter, a little hesitant.

“Oh man, thanks, Sig! Are you any good at baking?” Mads asked, but then felt his face redden a little when Sigurd laughed softly,

“Well, I like to think so, but I guess you’ll be the judge of that.” 

Despite working with Sigurd and seeing him on a daily basis, Mads had still yet to see who Sigurd was other than Emil’s father and his upstairs neighbour, so the fact that he now knew that Sigurd liked to bake made him feel happier than such a small detail probably should. 

“Sorry, I didn’t mean it like that, I just didn’t know you liked baking that’s all!” Mads hurried to correct himself as he took down a mug from the cupboard above the stove. 

“I just had some cocoa but there’s some left if you want some?” 

He offered, and held the mug up towards Sigurd and pointed to it. Then when Sigurd nodded he poured the last of the cocoa from the pan on the stove into it and set it down on the table.

“So, what didja wanna talk about?” Mads continued as he walked around the table.

Sigurd pulled out a chair and sat down, taking the mug in his hands and Mads flopped down opposite him. The soft smile that had graced Sigurd’s face only moments ago had now vanished as he stared down into his mug for a moment before raising his gaze to meet Mads’,

“I want full custody of Emil. I don’t want him to have anything to do with Natalie anymore.” he said, and Mads slumped in his chair a little taken aback. He waited to see if Sigurd would elaborate or say anything else, but he didn’t and instead just stared at Mads, his expression unreadable.

“Uh, well, I-” Mads began, but hesitated for a moment remembering what had happened previously when he’d offered advice to Sigurd. He cleared his throat, “How’d you come to this decision?”

Sigurd seemed surprised at the question as he curled his fingers around his mug, blinking at Mads until he shrugged and cast his gaze out of the window.

“It’s for the best. I know you think that I should give Nat a chance, but you don’t know her. She lets Emil down, makes false promises, stupid desicions. I loved her, once, but I don’t think she ever loved me.”

A small silence fell between Mads and Sigurd as Sigurd continued to look out of the window, his eyes moving as he followed individual flecks of sleet as they passed. 

“She loves Emil.” Mads said after a while, and Sigurd tore his gaze away from the window and narrowed his eyes at him.

“ _ Does _ she? If she did then she’d be here for him. She wouldn’t stand by and let me struggle to make ends meet to keep him warm and fed and not help me-” he said, his tone sharp, and Mads chewed on the inside of his cheek before interrupting him,

“She bought him the shoes, Sig, and she tried to give you money but you wouldn’t take it. You don’t have to struggle-”

“I can’t accept it!” Sigurd raised his voice over Mads’, “It’s  _ his _ money, and I don’t want to use it to support my son knowing full well that it came from- nevermind. It doesn’t matter. I just need you to help me, Mads. Please.”

The sullen look in Sigurd’s eye and the way his knuckles had turned white as he gripped his fingers tightly around the mug was enough for Mads to know not argue with him, even if he did slightly disagree with Sigurd about Natalie. But Sigurd was right, Mads didn’t know Natalie like he did, and if he’d learnt anything during his studies it was that separations were never easy or straight forward, both parents usually so sure that what they think and feel is right. As much as Mads wanted to help Sigurd and was glad that he felt that he could trust him, he knew the fact that they were no longer just little more than strangers now might take its toll a little. The golden rule in social work is to never get too invested or attached to your clients. 

Mads thought for a moment and ran a hand across his jaw before he sighed, 

“You’ll need what’s called a C100. It’s a court order to determine custody outcome, but first you need to attend a mediation meeting.” he said as he got up from the table to grab his laptop from the couch. Once he came back to the kitchen, instead of sitting back down opposite Sigurd he pulled out the chair beside him and sat down and opened the laptop up, turning it on the table so that Sigurd could see the screen as well.

Mads then spent a couple of minutes bringing up examples of the C100 application form as well as a detailed breakdown of a mediation meeting from the government website, then when he had everything he needed he turned to Sigurd,

“Does Natalie know that you want to do this?” he asked tentatively, making sure to keep his tone levelled, and Sigurd chewed on his fingernails while he shook his head.

“No. She wouldn’t understand, and then Gillian would get involved.” he mumbled around his fingers and slumped a little further in his chair. As much as Sigurd would put on a front, it was moments like this that made Mads remember that Sigurd was only 23.

“Look, I’m going to be honest with you, what you want to do isn’t easy. If you don’t talk to Nat then it’ll be even harder. You’ll have to present in front of a mediator your case for wanting full custody of Emil, and Natalie will get to present her case too should she disagree with you or want to counter-argue. The court system isn’t the most accommodating, but if you want me to help you with your case then I will.”

Mads then waited for Sigurd to speak, clasping his hands in front of him on the table and watched as Sigurd raised his mug to his lips, his hand trembling ever so slightly as he took a sip. He held Mads’ gaze over the rim of the mug, studying him as though trying to work him out. Sigurd continued to stare at Mads until he set his mug down again onto the table and drew in a breath,

“Natalie’s an addict. Michael, her boyfriend, is a dealer.” he said slowly, keeping his eye on Mads as he spoke to gauge his reaction. Mads’ lips then formed a soft _O_ in realisation as to why Sigurd had been hesitant to take the money that Natalie had offered him and why he didn’t want Emil around his mother. 

“She needs help, Mads. But I can’t say that in court as a reason to want full custody of Emil, because then she’d get searched or charged or even jailed, and I can’t do that to her. I need to keep Emil away from her for both his sake and hers while she sorts herself out.” 

Sigurd’s voice was shaky, his leg jittering under the table, and he drummed his fingers anxiously on the side of his mug. 

Mads thought for a moment, making sure to choose his words carefully as he let what Sigurd had just told him sink in, but before he could say anything Sigurd carried on,

“I’ve tried talkin’ to her about it. I’ve even said that I’d help her, introduce her to the people that helped me get clean, but every time she tries to stop I get a phone call or a text message or she shows up at my door at 2am absolutely off her face, worse every time, and now that Emil is getting old enough to realise that somethin’ is going on I just can’t have him around her. It’s the whole reason we moved, and I feel so guilty being away from her, but she won’t leave Michael so it’s just an endless cycle and I don’t want to be caught in it anymore. It’s too hard, especially now that I’m clean and I have to look at her knowing that that was me once.” 

By the time Sigurd had finished his eyes were glassy and he dropped his head into his hands. Mads hesitated for a moment before reaching across to place a comforting hand on Sigurd’s back. He opened his mouth to say something, but decided against it for the moment and instead just rubbed small circles across Sigurds back until he raised his head once more and wiped his eyes on the back of his sleeve. 

“I’m sorry to unload all of this on you, Mads. It’s not fair, but I don’t know who else to turn to.” he said, but Mads just smiled and shook his head,

“When I said I wanted to help you, Sig, I meant it. I might have a degree in social care, but that doesn’t mean you can’t come to me as a friend. I’d never judge you or try to take Emil away, or hurt Natalie for that matter. You can unload anything on me, that’s what friends are for, right?” Mads’ grin grew a little wider as he squeezed Sigurd’s shoulder and watched as his face relaxed.

“Right.” he nodded, and the smallest of smiles played in the corner of his mouth. Then when Mads returned his attention to his laptop, Sigurd shuffled closer to Mads and peered at the screen.

*

By the time Mads had finished explaining the court process the sleet outside had stopped and the sky had begun to darken. He’d paused his explanation to grab some paper and pen for Sigurd, and now pages and pages of notes littered the kitchen table. There were certain aspects of the C100 process where Mads’ knowledge was a little rusty, and he wasn’t 100% sure how Sigurd would arrange mediation without talking to Natalie first, but it felt good to stretch his brain and put his degree to use. 

Sigurd was just scribbling down the last of his notes, then once finished he put the pen down and sat back in his chair, letting out a small sigh. 

“I’m sorry you didn’t get the promotion at work.” he said, his voice soft and apologetic, and Mads turned to look at him over his shoulder, his brow raised,

“I overheard Liz talking about it a couple of days ago when I was mopping the staff break room,” Sigurd continued, then pointed to the laptop screen, “and I couldn’t help but notice the job site you have open in your tabs.” 

“Ha, yeah well I’m not having much luck with those jobs either.” Mads scoffed, a bitter tone to his voice as he closed his laptop.

“I’m stuck in a loop of needing to have previous experience but for that reason I can’t get a job to gain the experience. But that’s just life.” 

Mads stood up from the table and turned the dial on the thermostat on the kitchen wall to switch the central heating on in the apartment, 

“I’m sure something’ll come along, I just gotta keep looking I guess.” he shrugged, then shook his head, a cheerful expression returning to his face as he leant back against the countertops,

“Don’t suppose you wanna stay for dinner? I was thinking of ordering take out and it’s never worth ordering food for just one person.”

Sigurd blinked at Mads for a moment, his brows furrowed, 

“I have to go and pick Emil up from school, but perhaps another time?” Sigurd said as he stood up from the table almost reluctantly.

“Oh, well, Emil’s invited too of course, you guys like pizza right? I could order it to be delivered for the same time you two get back and we could watch a movie? Besides, I don’t know if I could eat a full fruitcake to myself either.” Mads pressed, nodding over to the cake tin on the opposite counter, and watched as Sigurd considered the offer as he fiddled with the hem of his threadbare sweater. 

“Alright. That’d be nice.” Sigurd accepted the with a small, crooked smile, and Mads beamed,

“Great! What time do you usually get back from the school run? I’ll call up and order so it’s delivered for the same time. What pizza d’ya want?”

Picking up the house phone from the cradle on the counter, Mads poised his thumb over the buttons,

“Pepperoni is fine, I’ll share with Emil. And we’ll be back between 4 and 4:15 depending on the busses. Is that okay?” 

“Course it is! I’ll leave the door unlocked so just let yourselves in.”

Mads followed Sigurd over to the front door and stood aside as he opened it and stepped out into the hallway. They said brief goodbyes before Sigurd took the elevator up to his floor to get his shoes and coat and Mads closed the door, leaving it on the latch like he said he would and dialled the number for the pizza shop he always ordered from.

He ordered Sigurd’s pizza, a hawaiian pizza for himself and a side of fries for the three of them to share, then set to work making the apartment presentable. Although Sigurd had already spent the afternoon with him, Mads still had the urge to clean up a little to make their evening a bit more special. 

He swept the living room floor, folded the blankets away that were in a heap on the couch, tidied up the papers strewn across the table into a neat pile ready for Sigurd to take home with him later, and then as a finishing touch Mads lit the new gingerbread spice candle that he’d couldn’t resist when grocery shopping a couple of days ago. 

His apartment was warm and cozy, the heating system warming the floorboards beneath his feet, and now that it had gone dark outside Mads dimmed the lights once more before flopping down on the couch. The scent of the candle was filling the apartment now, and Mads couldn’t help but wonder what Sigurd’s plans for christmas were. Apart from Natalie and of course Emil, Mads had no idea who the rest of Sigurds family were. He never talked about his parents or any siblings, yet the fact that he was practicing yule cake recipes suggested that he was planning to either give them to someone or at least celebrate with them. 

More often than not Mads had found himself thinking about Sigurd, wanting to know everything there was to know about him. The fact that he’d found out this afternoon that he liked to bake was great, a positive, but in the same breath he’d found out that Sigurd had struggled with drugs in the past which caused the pit of his stomach to twist at the thought. But before Mads could dwell on the thought any longer, the sound of Emil’s excited chatter could be heard in the hall. He’d barely got up from the couch when the front door opened and Emil rushed into the apartment, his cheeks and nose bright red from the cold even despite being swaddled in a thick puffer coat, scarf, a wooly hat and mittens. 

“Hi Mads!” Emil cried, throwing his arms around Mads’ legs and nearly sending him toppling over. 

“Hey buddy, how are ya?” Mads greeted Emil with a big smile, then looked over at Sigurd as he closed the door gently and kicked his shoes off.

“Emmie, come and take your shoes and coat off please, it’s rude to tread in the house with shoes on.” Sigurd chided, and Emil did as he was told, waddling over to his dad in all his layers and standing still patiently while he helped him out of his coat. 

It wasn’t long after Sigurd and Emil had arrived the buzzer sounded and Mads ran down to the foyer to grab the pizzas from the delivery driver. He’d left Sigurd and Emil browsing movies on netflix, and when Mads came back into the apartment balancing the pizza boxes in his arms he couldn’t help but smile at the sight of Emil sitting on Sigurd’s lap as Sigurd suggested movies to him while stroking his hair softly.

“You guys want some soda with your pizza?” Mads called from the kitchen as he opened the pizza boxes and took some lemonade from the fridge. Instead of just answering with yes or no, Emil slid down off Sigurd’s lap and joined Mads in the kitchen, standing beside him on his tiptoes to peer into the pizza box.

“Dad doesn’t like fizzy pop. He says it makes his tooth hurt.” Emil said, peering up at Mads, a look of concern on his little face.

“Oh? Well, what does he like instead?” Mads asked, a little endeared by the fact that Emil clearly paid so much attention to Sigurd.

Emil beamed up at Mads and swung from his leg, “He likes juice. Or water. Or coffee but he doesn’t have that at night time.”

“I see, well thank you for telling me, I’ll make him some juice.” Mads said with a smile, taking the bottle of orange squash out of the fridge and pouring a glass for Sigurd. 

“Mummy says I have to take care of Dad.” Emil puffed his chest out proudly, then he took the tumbler of juice from the side and went back into the living room. Mads watched as he handed it to Sigurd who smiled brightly at his son before he took off again back to the kitchen to get his own drink.

This time, Mads grabbed the pizza boxes and his glass of lemonade and followed Emil into the living room, setting the pizzas down on the coffee table and grabbing a couple of slices. 

“So have ya decided on a movie?” Mads mumbled between mouthfuls, wiping away a spring of cheese that stuck to his chin.

Sigurd leant forward and took a slice of pizza and began to pick the peperoni off, 

“Emil wants to watch the Lion King, but I wasn’t sure if you wanted to watch a kids movie…” he said, then handed the pepperoni-less slice of pizza to Emil who tucked in happily. 

“Sig, the Lion King is  _ not _ a kids movie. We can totally watch it!” Mads cried, winking at Emil as Sigurd rolled his eyes, but he pressed play on the remote and relaxed into the couch nonetheless. 

As they watched the movie and stuffed their faces full of pizza, Mads was surprised at how empathetic Emil was towards Scar for such a little kid when he would comment every now and again at how Scar wasn’t really the bad guy, he was just upset and misunderstood and that people can do silly things when they’re upset. Even Sigurd seemed a little surprised, and Mads caught him staring at Emil with an incredulous look on his face a couple of times. 

When the pizza boxes were empty and the movie had finished, Emil leapt up from the couch and started to sing along to  _ Hakuna Matata _ as it played over the credits, dancing around the living room while Sigurd stood to help Mads clear the coffee table and bring the pizza boxes and empty drinks glasses into the kitchen. 

“Mads, I’ve been thinking about earlier, and I think I know how I can help you in return for all you’ve done for me.” Sigurd spoke up as he dropped the glasses into the sudsy water in the sink then turned to face Mads,

“I’d pay you of course, but I was wondering if you’d be the mediator for Nat and me?”

Mads looked up from where he was flattening the pizza boxes to stuff them in the recycling bin, his eyes wide and jaw slightly slackened,

“Sig, are ya sure? Don’t you want a professional? I could help ya find one online, someone who’s experienced.”

He straightened up, forgetting about the pizza boxes for a moment to stare at Sigurd as he shook his head.

“You might be inexperienced, but you still know what you’re talking about. I trust you, and I know that you agree a little with Natalie too. Although that's hard for me I know that you’ll help her. I still love her, Mads. It might not seem that way, but I do, and at the end of the day I just want what’s best for her. And right now that’s not a child.”

Usually the talkative one with an answer for everything, Mads was at a loss for words as he stood pinned beneath Sigurds gaze, feeling a lump forming in his throat. 

“I- of course I’ll be your mediator. Though I won’t be able to do anything for you until after Christmas if you can wait that long. I need to apply for my licence and register you as my client and-”

“That’s fine, Mads.” Sigurd stopped Mads’ rambling, a kind smile breaking across his face as he tucked his hair behind his ear, “Besides, you’ll get the experience that you need which is the least I can do to thank you for helping me. What are friends for, eh?” he echoed Mads’ same words from earlier, a smirk on his face, and Mads had to root his feet to the spot to stop himself from reaching forward and pulling Sigurd into a hug.

“You’re my friend too, right Mads?” Emil piped up from behind them, and Mads nodded, squeezing Emil’s little hand when he took hold of his own. 

“I sure am, bud.” he said, smiling down at Emil then over to Sigurd who, for the first time, seemed genuinely happy as he smiled back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you wanna listen to a song that helped me write this chapter and feel some feels then here you go: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=L4dPKhRaJHE&ab_channel=ParmyFletcher
> 
> I hope you liked this chapter, I kinda struggled ngl but I'm happy with how it turned out in the end. Many thanks to the nordictalia server as always, especially Random ily <3
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> -lumassen x


	7. Chapter Seven

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger Warning: Drug use mentioned within this chapter.

**Chapter Seven**

It took Mads longer than it probably should have to choose one of the three available envelope colours on the front of the cash register. Eventually when the customer-service-smile was beginning to falter on the cashier's face he decided on the red one and slid it towards her across the counter.

“How much do you wanna put on the gift card?” she asked, and Mads realised that he hadn’t thought this far ahead.

“Uh, how much does a good pair of Vans usually cost? Y’know, nice ones?” he asked sheepishly as he looked around the store at all the sneakers displayed on the wall. Mads had never spent more than £20 on shoes, and more often than not would buy them from an off brand store too.

The cashier shrugged and flipped her blunt brown hair over her shoulder,

“Between £40 and £90 I’d say, depending on the style.”

Mads let his eyes wander over the shoes on the wall for a moment longer in thought before he turned back to the cashier with a smile.

“£60 please.” 

She nodded and began to ring the gift card through the till, and Mads fumbled in his pocket for his wallet. It was early morning and the mall had barely been open for 10 minutes, but Mads wanted to make sure he beat the rush of Christmas shoppers so decided to come into work a little early to get some of his own shopping done. 

“Lego store?” the cashier said, eyeing Mads’ bright red work polo shirt, and Mads looked up at her.

“Uh, yeah, I'm in the store on the ground floor near the car park.” 

Nodding again, the cashier turned her attention back to the register,

“I’ll give you the 15% employee discount. Who’s the gift card for so I can print the total to put inside the envelope?”

Mads beamed at her, setting his wallet down on the counter and then leant forward on it on his elbows.

“Thanks, appreciate it! And it’s for Sigurd. S-i-g-u-r-d.” 

He watched the cashier tap across the screen of the register as he spelt out Sigurd’s name, then she printed out the receipt with the total amount to put inside the envelope and passed it to Mads for him to sign his name.

“It’ll be £51 for you to pay after the discount, but you’ll still get £60 on the card. Sign your name where it says ‘from’ at the bottom then swipe your card through the machine.” 

Picking up the pen from beside the receipt, Mads scribbled his name and signed it off with a little smiley face beside it, then pulled his debit card from his wallet and swiped it through the card machine. Another receipt for the payment printed off, and the cashier handed it to him along with the gift card and the envelope.

“Thank you! Have a great day, and Merry Christmas!” Mads called to the cashier as he took his leave and watched as she rolled her eyes a little yet wished him the same. 

It was the 14th of December, and despite the fact that Christmas music had been playing across the mall speakers since the last week of November and the decorations had gone up the week before, it was finally starting to actually _feel_ like Christmas now.

Mads tucked the gift card in it’s little envelope in the inside pocket of his coat and pulled his shopping list that he’d been adding to over the past couple of weeks from his wallet. He started in the department store, browsing the womens perfume counters until his nose began to sting from smelling all the different fragrances on offer and he settled on a nice bottle of Dior for his mother. His father was next, a man who didn’t want for anything, and so he went for a new wedge club and a pair of leather golf gloves from the fancy sports shop. 

His parents were easy to shop for, and would always be pleased with whatever their darling youngest child bought for them, but Mads had three older sisters with hair just as red and wild as his own, Mette, Martha and Mabel; who were much harder to please despite the fact that they did nothing but adore their baby brother. 

Stopping in the middle of the mall, Mads stared down at his list and looked over the ideas that he had for gifts for them and sighed, unsure where to even begin. The mall was starting to get busy now, and as Mads set off for the bookstore he found that he was now weaving in and out of shoppers and dodging children who skipped ahead in front of their parents. 

Just as he turned the corner to take the escalator to the upper mall, Mads spotted Sigurd by the Santa's grotto that was currently being assembled ready for the weekend leaning on the handle of his mop as he chatted to someone. Mads and Sigurd had been on opposite shifts for the past week or so, and with the mall at the busiest time of the year Mads had hardly seen much of him recently. Sigurd left early in the morning to catch the bus, dropping Emil off at his breakfast club before he started work, and he would be gone by 4pm to pick him up from school. The mall had later opening hours during the holiday period to allow for more panicked Christmas shopping, and Mads hadn’t been getting home some nights until at least 10pm. While filling out applications for his mediation licence last night with a large glass of mulled wine in hand, Mads had vowed that this would be the last Christmas that he would spend working in retail.

He hesitated for a moment, glancing between Sigurd and the gift list in his hand before he sighed softly and tucked it back into his wallet. 

“Heya, Sig.” Mads said casually as he approached him, and the shorter blonde that he was talking to turned to smile at him over his shoulder. 

“Hi Mads. This is Timo, Peter’s Dad. Y’know, Emil’s friend?” Sigurd nodded to Timo with a small smile, and Mads took Timo’s hand as he held it out to him and shook it firmly.

“So _you’re_ the infamous Mads. Peter’s mentioned you a couple of times.”

Timo’s smile was warm and stretched into dimples on either side of his mouth. 

Mads looked at Sigurd who just shrugged before he returned his attention back to Timo. 

“And what does Peter have to say about me?” Mads said with a laugh, then grinned as Timo’s face fell a little,

“Oh it’s nothing bad! Emil talks about you sometimes, and so when I ask Peter about his day he tells me in more detail than is necessary sometimes.” he hurried to reassure Mads, then shook his head a little with a smile probably at the thought of his son. 

“Anyway, I should probably get going. I’m keeping both of us from our work. But you have my number now, so text me whenever you want to bring Emil over. We’ll give him dinner too if you like, just lemme know, Sigurd, okay?” 

Timo began to take his leave, hitching a duffel bag a little further up his shoulder, and Sigurd nodded at him with a smile,

“Emil would like that. Thanks, Timo.” 

Timo said his goodbyes to Mads and Sigurd, then to Mads surprise disappeared inside the grotto. Puzzled, he pointed to the grotto and narrowed his eyes at Sigurd.

“He does know that’s not open to the public until Saturday, right?” he said, and watched as Sigurd stifled a laugh. 

“I didn’t believe him at first either when I bumped into him, but Timo’s the mall Santa.” Sigurd spoke from behind his hands, his eyes creasing a little as he laughed, and Mads’ mouth fell open.

“ _Really_? Shit, I don’t know how I feel about knowing Santa’s real identity.” he gawped, and Sigurd placed his hands on his hips and furrowed his brow in mock concern,

“Tell me about it. How am I going to tell my son that his best friend’s Dad is actually Santa Claus?”

Mads hadn't really seen Sigurd's playful side since the time he'd reserved them a table in the food court, but lately it had been more apparent. For a four year old, Emil was quick witted, and it was in moments like this where it was clear where he inherited that trait from.

"So Emil has a play date, huh?" Mads said as Sigurd put his mop back into the bucket and the two of them began to amble through the sea of shoppers to the Lego store, the wheel on the bottom of the bucket squeaking a little as they walked, 

"Yeah. It'll probably be after Christmas now, but it's kind of Timo and his husband to offer, and Peter seems like a nice kid." Sigurd mused, though his attention was mostly focused on the squeaky wheel as he kicked it a little in an attempt to get it to stop. It didn't, and Mads watched a look of annoyance flash across Sigurd's face as he huffed.

"So, speaking of, what're ya doing for Christmas?" he asked as the Lego store came into sight.

Sigurd took a moment to answer, tucking his hair behind his ear before he replied, "I'm not sure. It'll probably just be me and Emil I suppose. How 'bout you?"

"I'm hosting Christmas this year, so my family are flying over from Denmark for the week. I'm not sure how four rowdy women and my poor Pa are gonna fit in my apartment, but we'll make it work!"

This year would be the first time that Mads' had hosted Christmas day at his own place since leaving home, and he was looking forward to it. His mother had already sent him a recipe for her famous _Risalamande_ over facebook and nagged at him three times not to forget to prepare the _Rødkål_ a week before. 

“I’ve not seen my family in about 8 months, so it’ll be really nice to have ‘em all over. You’ll love my oldest sister, Mette, I’ll have to introduce you guys-”

Mads cut himself short when Sigurd stopped walking and reached into his pocket for his phone when it started to ring, then he stared at the screen, every inch of his face drawing into a scowl.

“What is it?” 

Sigurd flashed his phone at him, and Mads squinted to read the name that lit up the screen,

“It’s Gillian. She never calls me. D’you mind if I answer? Sorry, I don’t mean to interrupt.” Sigurd looked apologetic, but Mads just waved his hand at him in dismissal.

“Course not! Go ahead, bud.”

Sigurd then gave him a weak smile as he brought his phone to his ear and answered the call. Mads hovered by his side for a moment, but he didn’t want to seem like he was listening in on his conversation so he was just about to quietly motion that he was going inside the store and that he'd catch Sigurd later when he watched the colour drain from his face and Sigurd turned so pale that he was almost see through. Mads felt his pulse race just by looking at him, and knew instantly that something was wrong.

"Where is she? How long had she been out? It’s okay- No I’ll leave now. Ward 52? Okay. Gillian wait- Thank you. Bye.”

Mads listened to the one sided conversation, then watched as Sigurd turned rigid, his eyes glassy, and hung up the phone and slid it back into his pocket. It was as though he was moving in slow motion as he stood before Mads, his expression unreadable.

“Nat’s in the hospital. Overdose. I need go. I need to be with her.” he said, not meeting Mads’ eye and instead he was staring off into space. His voice was oddly calm and quiet despite the words that had just left his lips. Goosebumps prickled over the back of Mads’ neck as he shoved his hands in his pocket to dig out his car keys,

“Shit, Sig, of course you need to be with her. Is she okay? Are _you_ okay? Can you drive?”

Holding out his keys toward Sigurd, Mads couldn’t stop the string of questions from spilling from his mouth, his voice getting higher and higher with worry as he spoke. Sigurd only seemed to snap out of his trance at the last question, looking at Mads as if he’d just spoken Cantonese.

“What?” he mumbled, and Mads took a step closer toward Sigurd, still offering his keys.

“Do you have a driving licence? You can borrow my car to get to the hospital. Sigurd, I’m so sorry.”

It was as if there were a delay between Mads’ speech and his words reaching Sigurd ears, and it took him a moment to register what he’d just said before he shook his head slowly.

“No, I can’t drive.” he drawled, his voice monotone, then straightened up and pulled his shoulders back, blinking hard several times as though trying to snap himself out of his thoughts. 

“Will you pick Emil up? I’ll call the school in the cab on the way to the hospital and let them know to expect you. Shit, I gotta tell Angela that I need to leave-”

The calm and collected front that Sigurd had put on was beginning to crumble as his bottom lip started to tremble and he raked a hand anxiously through his hair,

“Of course I will. And don’t worry about Angela, I’ll talk to Michelle about you having to leave. She’s our temporary store manager while Liz is off- but that’s not important is it-” Mads stopped himself then sighed, “Sig, just go, okay? I’ll handle things. Text me if you need anything.”

He gave Sigurd’s bony shoulder a squeeze and looked deep into his eye for a moment, trying to give him a reassuring smile even though he knew that it wouldn’t make the situation even the slightest bit easier before he just nodded and turned to take his leave. Mads watched Sigurd’s back until he’d disappeared into the crowd of people, then took hold of the handle of his mop and wheeled it and the bucket into the Lego store and over to the staff area. He heaved the door open with his shoulder, dragging the bucket behind him and accidentally sloshed some soapy water over the side as the door slammed shut behind him and caught the edge of it.

“ _For helvede_.” he muttered to himself under his breath, his own mind racing with worry for Sigurd and Natalie. 

“Dude, I know you were lookin’ for another job but a part time cleaning job is stooping a little low, don’cha think?” Alfred teased as he came around the corner of the corridor from the staff room.

Mads looked up and glared at him,

“You saying that Sigurd is below us just cause he’s a cleaner?” he snapped, and Alfred raised his hands in innocence,

“No no, that’s not what I meant, it was a joke!” he cried, then his expression softened and he dropped his hands back down by his side. 

“Are you okay? You look like you’ve seen a ghost.”

Mads glanced at Alfred out of the corner of his eye as he took the mop and wrung it out in the bucket before quickly mopping up the water he’d spilt.

“Sorry, didn’t mean to snap at ya. And yeah, I’m alright, just… had some news, that’s all.” Mads muttered, putting the mop back into the bucket then smiled at Alfred weakly as he placed an arm around his neck.

“It’s alright, I shouldn’t have said that. And I won’t pry, but you can talk to me if somethin’s bothering you, y’know?”

There was a sincerity in Alfred’s voice, and Mads couldn’t stay mad at him as he awkwardly put the mop back into the bucket and pushed it into the corner out of the way with Alfred’s arm still around him.

“I know, bud, and I appreciate it.” he said, then followed Alfred back out onto the shop floor to see to the ever growing line of impatient holiday shoppers.

\-------------

By the time Mads pulled up outside the gates of Emil’s school the playground was nearly empty. He parked in the same spot on the kerb as the day that he’d driven Sigurd here and got out of the car quickly. He passed a couple of parents and their kids shrieking happily and clutching each other's hands as he walked up the street to the gate. 

The air was cold and biting against Mads’ face, and he stuffed his hands in his coat pocket as he walked through the gates. The trees that lined the path leading to the school entrance were bare and skeletal against the grey winter sky. Just before Mads had left work for the day he’d received a text from Sigurd. Natalie was stable, but far from alright, and she was still unconscious after a heroin overdose. Sigurd didn’t go into too much detail as usual, but he planned to stay with her for as long as hospital visiting hours would allow in case she woke up, and so Mads had offered to watch Emil for the night and give him dinner. He was even prepared to let Emil stay the night if Sigurd had to stay in the hospital and had already swapped his morning shift to an afternoon shift with Alfred to allow him time to bring Emil to school tomorrow morning. 

Now that Mads was nearing the school, he spotted Emil standing by the teacher in the school yard, his bookbag in one hand and the other at his mouth as he sucked on the tip of his thumb. His eyes were darting back and forth, scanning the playground undoubtedly for any sign of his Dad, and so once he saw Mads approaching he ran from the teachers side and flung his arms around his legs and Mads plastered a happy smile on his face.

“Mads! You’re here!” he cried, swinging from Mads’ trouser leg, “But where’s my Dad?” 

Before Mads could answer Emil, the teacher he had been with stopped in front of them.

“Hi, can I ask who you are and what your relationship is to Emil?” she questioned, though her eyes were kind.

Emil let go of Mads’ trousers and stood between the two adults, looking up at them. 

“Mad- Matthias Densen, I’m a friend of Sigurd’s. He should have called to say that I’d be picking Emil up today?” he said, then a small sigh of relief escaped him when the teacher just nodded and smiled. 

“Great. Yeah, Mr Thomassen called this morning to advise you’d be collecting Emil, but I just needed to check, that’s all.”

Mads nodded and gave the teacher a smile, then she turned her attention to Emil, crouching ever so slightly to look at him.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Emil, alright?” she fluffed his hair affectionately before straightening up again.

“See you tomorrow Miss Manon!” Emil waved at his teacher as she turned to head back inside the school now that the playground was empty save for Mads and Emil.

Mads took Emil’s hand in his and they set off slowly walking back to the car together while Emil rambled on about his day.

“I really like Miss Manon. She smells nice.” Emil beamed, and Mads glanced down at him for a second, shaking his head in amusement at Emil’s choice of reasoning for liking his teacher. 

“She’s pretty. I bet she’s a nice teacher.” Mads said as they walked through the gates and over to the car. 

Unlocking the car with the keyfob, Mads opened the rear door and tossed Emil’s bookbag gently down onto the far side of the seat.

“We got to make shoe boxes for the less unfortunate people who don’t have many toys.” Emil continued as Mads helped him into the back seat and fastened his seatbelt. 

“Oh really? A shoebox, huh? And I think you mean the less fortunate, Emmie.” Mads corrected with a soft smile. He closed the door then hopped into the drivers seat and started the engine.

“Yep! We fill it with nice things and then Miss Manon will send it to Santa who will deliver it on Christmas day to all the children who need them.”

At this, Mads turned around in his seat to look at Emil as he grinned back at him, the pink of his tongue poking through the gap in his front teeth ever so slightly. Most other parents and perhaps even some of the other kids would consider Emil one of the ‘less fortunate kids’, yet it warmed Mads a little to know that Emil didn’t see himself that way, or think of himself as a kid in need of anything.

“I can use the shoe box that I got from Mummy, right, Mads?” Emil said proudly, and the warm feeling in Mads’ chest suddenly turned to icy tendrils over his heart at the mention of Natalie and the fact that Emil was so blissfully unaware of the reason why he’d picked him up from school instead of Sigurd; and he was determined to keep him that way.

“Course you can, buddy! D’ya wanna go to the store and pick some things out for the box?” Mads offered, but was then surprised when Emil’s large grin faltered a little.

“But… I wanted to do it with Dad. We always do things together.” he mumbled, and Mads just nodded and set off for home, pulling the car away from the kerb and into the post-work traffic.

“No worries, I’m sure your Dad will wanna do it with you too.”

\----------------

It had long since gone dark outside, and Mads stood over the sink washing the dishes as gently and quietly as he could. Emil had fallen asleep on the sofa, the sound from the movie that Mads’ had put on for him was drifting softly through from the TV in the living room. At first, Mads had worried a little about how to entertain Emil for so long especially as his toys were all in his apartment upstairs, and Mads believed that he had nothing in his own that was of remote interest to a four year old; but how wrong he’d been. 

While dinner of sausage casserole was in the oven, Emil had taken a liking to the small ornament that Mads had displayed on the cabinet by the TV of The Little Mermaid statue from his birthplace of Copenhagen, and had spent an hour or so playing with it while he drew some pictures with a black and blue biro pen on some scraps of paper. Then when it was time for dinner he’d sat at the table with Mads and asked him a million and one questions about what it was like working with so much Lego before going off on a tangent, babbling about all the different Lego sets that he had. He’d asked a couple of times throughout the evening where Sigurd was, and each time Mads had told him that he was visiting a friend and would be back soon, but he could tell that Emil wasn’t really buying it, his little face twisting into an expression of concern every time he asked after his Dad. 

As much as Mads was fond of Emil, he hated the fact that he was keeping things from him and was worried that he would accidentally slip up and reveal where Sigurd actually was, and so he was glad when there was finally a soft rapping on the front door. Shaking soap suds from his hands, Mads left the half done dishes in the sink and padded across his apartment to the door, but froze when he opened it to find Sigurd standing on the other side with a split lip and a bloody nose that had started to drip down his chin and onto his work uniform.

“ _Shit_ , Sigurd, what the hell happened?” Mads hissed between gritted teeth, stepping out into the hallway and closing the door behind him so that Emil couldn’t hear - or see - his Dad like this if he woke up. 

Sigurd wiped his nose on the back of his sleeve and winced a little, and Mads could see that his knuckles were starting to bruise and were bloodied also.

“Michael. He came to the hospital and demanded to know why Gillian had called me instead of him, so when I pointed out that Natalie wouldn’t have been in the state she was in if it weren’t for him he started getting smarmy and said that if Nat didn’t get her fix from him then she’d only end up getting it elsewhere probably from a dodgy dealer, so I swung for him and punched him in the face.” Sigurd said lowly, flexing his hand as he spoke and kept his eyes on his knuckles, averting Mads’ incredulous stare.

“I shouldn’t have done it, I don’t know what came over me, but the next thing I knew we were fighting right there beside Nat’s bed and the nurse brought security to throw us out.” he finished with a long sigh, then finally met Mads’ eye.

“She’s not good, Mads. Her hand was cold and clammy when I held it, but the doctor says if she makes it through the night then she’ll be okay, but I just-” 

Mads had never heard Sigurd talk this much, but now that he was starting to run out of things to say it was clear that he was just talking and talking to stop himself from breaking down; the weight of everything physically bringing his shoulders into a slump as he stood in the dim hallway. 

“C’mon, let’s clean you up.” Mads cooed, opening the door and stepping back inside. Sigurd didn’t even take his shoes off at the door, such a simple thing that really put into perspective just how out of it he was as he broke his number one golden rule, before trudging through the apartment, following Mads into the bathroom.

Mads flicked the lights on and took hold of Sigurds shoulders gently and sat him on the edge of the bathtub. His lip though still swollen had started to scab over already, but his nose still poured with blood both from inside his nostril and from the gaping split across the bridge of it where Michaels fist had no doubt collided with it. 

After running some warm water into the sink, Mads took some cotton pads from the medicine cabinet on the wall and soaked a couple of them in the water,

“This might sting a little.” he warned before bringing one of the cotton pads to Sigurd’s nose. He flinched when it made contact, but stayed still as Mads cleaned the wound and wiped off the dried blood from around Sigurd’s face and neck. 

“How’s Emil?” Sigurd mumbled as Mads turned to grab a fresh cotton pad, tossing the now blood soaked one into the waste bin under the sink. 

“Fine. Absolutely fine.” Mads reassured him, tilting his head slightly with his fingers so that he could wipe away the last of the blood from just beneath Sigurd’s jaw. 

“There. It’s clean for now, but you should get your nose seen to. It might be broken.” he said as he straightened up, and Sigurd nodded weakly. Mads had no idea what time it was, but he knew it must be late as he stifled a yawn while draining the sink of the water and putting the rest of the used cotton pads into the bin. When he turned around, Sigurd had stood up and was looking at him, chewing on his fingernails.

“Can I stay here tonight?” he whispered, his voice barely audible from beneath his fingers.

Mads’ expression softened as he put the pack of cotton pads away and closed the medicine cabinet.

“‘Course you can. You and Emil can have my bed, I’ll sleep on the couch.” he said with a smile. 

While Sigurd had returned to the living room to scoop a sleepy Emil from the sofa and bring him into the bedroom, Mads turned on the bedside lamp and got out a clean t-shirt and a pair of boxers from his chest of drawers and laid them on the bed. 

“Here, toss your clothes into the laundry basket and you can wear these tonight.” 

Motioning to the clothes, Mads then pulled the duvet back so that Sigurd could lay Emil down then stepped aside as he tucked him underneath it and fluffed the pillow slightly beneath his head.

“Sorry I haven’t got anything for Emil to wear. D’ya want me to go up to your apartment and grab something?” Mads offered, but Sigurd shook his head as he sank down onto the other side of the bed.

“No, it’s alright. I’ll undress him in a minute, he doesn’t like sleeping in clothes anyway because he gets too hot.” 

Sigurd’s voice was hushed, and he glanced at Emil as he stirred and rolled over in the bed, snuggling down deeper within the blankets before returning his gaze to Mads. 

“Thanks for everything today. I don’t know what I’d do without you, Mads. I’m sorry that it took me so long to know that I could trust you.” he muttered, dropping his head and staring at his hands once more as he ran his finger over the cuts on his knuckles.

Mads was quiet for a moment, not really sure of what to say. Sigurd had nothing to be sorry for, and if anything Mads was the one who was sorry. Sorry that Sigurd felt he needed to have his guard up so often, sorry that he couldn’t seem to catch a break, sorry that things weren’t easy for him. But Sigurd didn’t need his pity, and so instead he would just make sure to be there for his friend when he needed him.

“It’s alright, Sigurd. You don’t need to be sorry, and I’m glad that I’ve earnt your trust.” he said eventually as he reached for the door handle and opened it slightly, and a sliver of light flooded in from the hall across the carpet,

“If you need anything tonight you know where I am, don’t be afraid to wake me. Goodnight.”

Mads waited until Sigurd had said goodnight and he was sure that he didn’t need him for anything else before closing the bedroom door and took himself into the living room. He stood for a moment and stared at Emil’s drawings scattered across the rug, at the half washed dishes in the sink left from their dinner, then at a photograph on the wall of himself with his family, surrounded by the smiling faces of his sisters and his parents before he sank down onto the couch, dropped his head into his hands and cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hhhhh sorry this chapter is a little long and a bit hard hitting, but I really really hope it ended up how I wanted it to.
> 
> The pace might be a little off, but for once I'm actually quite proud of a chapter!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading as always, I love you guys.
> 
> See you all next chapter!
> 
> -lumassen x


	8. Chapter Eight

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: this chapter briefly mentions suicide and discusses drug use

**Chapter Eight:**

Mads stirred from his sleep to the sound of a child crying. It took him a moment when he began to sit up and peer blearily eyed around the room to realise that it wasn’t a dream and that Sigurd and Emil were in the next room. Wincing a little as he rolled onto his back and felt it twinge after being curled up in an awkward position, Mads straightened his legs out and dangled them over the couch arm and stared up at the ceiling. 

The couch wasn’t meant for a man of 6’4 to sleep on, and Mads’ legs tingled a little with pins and needles as the feeling returned to them while he listened to Emil’s loud crying slowly turn into muffled sobs until it stopped altogether. He could hear the hum of Sigurd’s low voice now drifting through the apartment, but he couldn't work out what he was saying. Despite this though, Mads didn’t want to feel as though he were eavesdropping, so he reached down and picked his phone up off the floor beside the couch and unlocked it, squinting at the bright screen until his eyes adjusted. 

The etsy page that he was looking at before he managed to fall asleep was still open, and Mads stared at the picture of the chunky knit mermaid tail style blanket that he was debating ordering for the younger of his three older sisters, Mabel, for Christmas. He swiped through the different colour options until he stopped on a turquoise green one and he smiled to himself in the darkness. Mabel had beautiful waist length hair, and when they were kids she would always brush it with a fork and ask Mads to call her Ariel. Now that she was older she’d dyed it bright scarlett and Mads added the blanket to his basket, thinking about how she’d look like the real Ariel now. 

He was just tapping in his credit card details to purchase the blanket when he heard the bedroom door open and the floorboards in the hall creaked a little underfoot as Sigurd stepped out, closing the door gently behind him.

“Oh, did Emil wake you? I’m so sorry- I just- Is it alright if I get a glass of water please? I’ll leave you to get back to sleep then.” Sigurd stood awkwardly in the doorway between the hallway and the living room, his shoulders hunched and his arms wrapped around his middle, hugging himself. Mads could barely see him in the darkness of the apartment, but he could hear the apologetic tone in his voice as he spoke. 

“‘Course you can, you know where the glasses are, right?” Mads said cheerily, putting his phone down in his lap and sitting up a little on the couch. 

Sigurd nodded and crossed the apartment quietly, moving so gently that he barely made a sound. Mads waited until he'd reached up into the cupboard and took a glass down and he heard the running of the water as he filled it before speaking again.

“Is Emil alright?” he asked as Sigurd came back through to the living room, the glass poised at his lips as he took a few small sips of water. He hesitated for a moment and Mads could tell that something was on his mind. He took a few more shaky sips of water before he exhaled softly and walked over to the other couch opposite Mads.

Sitting up fully and crossing his legs beneath him under the blanket, Mads leaned over and turned on the floor lamp beside the couch in the corner of the room, softly illuminating the apartment. Sigurd blinked a couple of times and rubbed at his eyes as he perched himself gingerly onto the couch, and when he took his hand away Mads bit his lip as he looked at Sigurd’s face. A large purple bruise had spread over the bridge of his nose and beneath his eyes, and the cut that he’d cleaned last night had scabbed over now. 

“”Emil’s fine. He just woke up when my phone rang and startled himself when he forgot where he was, that’s all. Plus he had a fright when he saw my face. It was Gillian who called,” Sigurd mumbled, running his finger around the rim of the glass as he looked down into it, and Mads felt his heart jump into his throat. 

“Oh?” he said hesitantly, but then a wave of relief washed over him when Sigurd looked up and met his eye, a faint, strained, yet happy smile on his lips.

“Nat’s awake, she’s okay. The nurse called Gillian when she woke up, then she called me straight away.”

Mads let out a long breath and flopped back against the couch cushions, running a hand through his hair then he just smiled incredulously at Sigurd.

“I’m so glad, Sig. Really I am. That’s amazing news.”

The two of them sat for a moment just looking at each other. Mads stayed with a beaming smile on his face and while Sigurd downed the rest of his glass of water before setting it down on the coffee table between them. 

Once Sigurd had relaxed into the couch, Mads’ smile faltered a little as he thought about Emil.

“Are you going to take Emil to see her?” he asked tentatively, then watched as Sigurd’s expression drew into a frown.

“I couldn’t even if I wanted to. Which I don’t. I’m not allowed back onto the ward after what happened between me and Michael.” 

He cast his gaze to the wall behind Mads, his voice low and tone defeated. 

“I suppose I could let him go with Gillian, but I don’t think it would be good for him.”

As much as Mads didn’t like the idea of Emil being in the dark about the fact that his mother was unwell, he knew that Sigurd was right. He shifted on the couch, uncrossing his legs and instead placing his bare feet flat against the floor.

Sigurd continued to gaze past Mads, staring off into his own world, and Mads took a moment to just look at him. He was a slight man, and the white t-shirt he was wearing that Mads had leant him was loose around his neck, exposing the sharp angles of his collarbone. The arms were baggy and too big, the ends of the sleeves came all the way down to his elbows nearly. 

Without knowing him, it would be easy to think that Sigurd was perhaps a weak person. He was quiet spoken and a little timid, but as Mads had let everything get on top of him last night he couldn't help but just admire Sigurd and his strength and ability to just carry on despite everything that was going on in his life - and up until now he’d been doing it all by himself.

“What about your family?” he said before he could stop himself, his thoughts running away with him, and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle as Sigurd suddenly seemed to snap back into the room and his eyes met Mads’.

“What d’ya mean?”

His eyes were narrowed and brows drawn together. Mads dropped his gaze to the blanket over his legs and picked at a loose thread. 

“Well, Gillian is Natalie's Mom. Does Emil see much of your mother? Your parents?” 

Sigurd laughed at this and brought his legs up onto the couch, hugging his bare knees to his chest as he shook his head.

“Why do you ask?” he answered Mads’ question with yet another question.

“Cause I’m just hoping you have someone to help you besides me, okay?” Mads said through an exasperated sigh, and Sigurds face fell and his gaze softened as Mads continued,

“Look, it’s not that I mind being here for ya, it just hoped that you had some kinda family support. I don’t know where I’d be without my parents and my sisters sometimes.” 

Sigurd drew small circles with his finger against the skin of his shin as he hugged his legs a little closer to his body and Mads was beginning to just accept that he would probably never really know much else about Sigurd and his life than what he already did. He picked his phone up from his lap and turned it over in his hand to look at the time, 4:38am, when Sigurd spoke up and broke the awkward silence that was now lingering between them.

“I never really knew them.” he began, his voice just little more than a whisper, and Mads raised his head up from his phone to look at him again.

“I was fostered as a kid, put into care when I was 5. A different family every couple of months. My father was an alcoholic apparently, and when my mother walked out on him I was put into foster care. I never knew he was an alcoholic, and from what I remember he didn’t treat me badly or anything. It wasn’t until I got put with my first foster family that I realised I hadn’t had a normal childhood. There was food in their fridge, heat came from the radiators, and the lights came on when you flicked the lightswitch.”

As he spoke, it was as though Mads had finally found the last piece to the puzzle that was Sigurd, and everything had finally clicked into place. He listened as Sigurd told him what it was like growing up in the foster care system, how some families would just use the expenses they were given to care for him on themselves and their own kids and just treat him like a spare part, and how others would shower him with too much love as though he were their own child, but that there was something about the falseness in their voice as they spoke to him that made him realise it was all just an act and they felt they _had_ to treat him that way, not because they wanted to.

Kids like Sigurd were the main reason that Mads had wanted to go into social work. Upon hearing Sigurd’s childhood story he was instantly transported back to when he was 12 and a new kid had joined his school. She’d come to school some days with creases in her uniform, her blazer still damp from where she’d walked home alone in the rain the day before, and no money in her pocket for lunch. Mads would share his food with her, and had even snuck one of his sister Martha’s old blazers that didn’t fit her anymore from her wardrobe and given it to the girl. 

He tried his best to become her friend, and just when he felt they were making progress she stopped coming to school. She just disappeared one day, and nobody but Mads seemed to notice. It was only years later when Mads had graduated from school and was starting college that he read in the local newspaper that she’d been placed into care the year she disappeared. She’d been in care up until she was 18, her obituary said, before she comitted suicide shortly after her birthday. He’d gone to her funeral and was heart broken when only 7 or 8 others showed up, all of which were old school friends and one family who’d fostered her at some point. No real family, no real friends. 

“I met Natalie when I was 15. I’d been dragged to a party by this guy that I knew from my math class. It wasn’t a huge gathering, only about 10 of us at his friend's flat who was a couple of years older than us. She was the only person I felt confident enough to talk to, so we talked all night in our own little world. We met up a couple of times after that. We’d smoke dope together in the park after dark, and I still remember the first time we kissed."

Sigurd was smiling a little wistfully now at the memory, and Mads saw by the expression on his face just how much Natalie meant to him.

“But then we went into our last year of school. She met Michael and started doing harder drugs. I’d end up taking them too just to be by her side. I didn’t want to lose her, and when my foster parents found out when I came home one night tripping on acid they threw me out. I moved in with Natalie and Gillian after that, and the next thing I knew she was pregnant.”

Sigurd got up from the couch before Mads could say anything and picked his glass back up. He walked into the kitchen and refilled it, standing by the sink as he took a couple more long sips and stared out of the window. 

“Gillian never saw me in the same light after that. I don’t blame her either. She invited me into her home, let me stay there, gave me a family. She gave me a chance, but instead I just stood by and let her daughter spiral into drug addiction and then to top it off I got her pregnant. I ruined her life, Mads.” 

Throwing off the blanket, Mads stood up and followed Sigurd into the kitchen, leaning against the counter and peering up into his downcast face.

“Hey, you did no such thing. Alright? You could’ve left her, but you stuck by her side. You were young, Sig. Looking back at my own childhood there are things that I wish I’d done differently, things I wish I’d said or noticed, but you can’t change the past.” he said, then he chuckled to himself and shook his head,

“You _punched_ Michael in the _face_ , bud. You dropped everything to rush to Natalie when you found out she’d overdosed, you asked me to be your mediator because you know that I have her best interest at heart. If that’s not looking out for Natalie then I don’t know what is.”

The water inside the glass in Sigurd’s hand was rippling slightly as his hand trembled, but he eventually put it down on the counter and turned to face him. 

“You’re a good person, Mads. I hope you never change.”

At this, Mads wasn’t sure what to say or do, so he just nodded, giving Sigurd a bright smile as he squeezed his shoulder.

*

They’d stayed up for a little while longer and talked about their childhoods, and by the time Sigurd took himself back off to bed to sleep for another couple of hours and Mads snuggled back down onto the couch their cheeks were aching from laughing. It seemed that the two of them had been polar opposites when they were younger, and Mads was surprised to find that Sigurd had been quite the delinquent. Seeing how he carried himself now, calm and collected and well spoken, Mads never would have guessed that Sigurd had spent most of his youth spent around the back of the bike shed or skipping school altogether with his few friends and Natalie. He’d shared stories of getting caught by the teachers and how they’d always think of clever ways to outsmart them to avoid detention. Then he’d laughed like Mads had never heard him when it was his turn to tell Sigurd how he’d auditioned for the school theatre production for both the male and female lead. The old theatre teacher who was blind as a bat and couldn’t tell that it had been Mads in a wig and skirt and had cast him for both roles. 

It was unfortunate that it took Natalie’s overdose to finally show Mads a side of Sigurd that had been missing and allow them to grow even closer as friends, but Mads finally felt that he knew who Sigurd was now. He was a man who’s childhood and upbringing had shaped him in ways that he never would have guessed, and he just wanted to be the best father that he could be to his son, and a loyal friend to his ex and her mother. He feared the social care system due to his own experience, and Mads felt proud that he’d been able to change that as he’d shut the lamp off and drifted back off to sleep.

Waking up to an energetic child thundering around parading around his apartment in just his underwear as he ran away from Sigurd who was trying to get him dressed and ready for school after grabbing a clean uniform from his apartment had been an experience for Mads, but not one that was unpleasant. 

While Sigurd had gone up to his apartment to get clean clothes for Emil and to get himself dressed, Mads had sat at the table and had breakfast with Emil. Since the moment he woke up he’d not stopped talking about Christmas, and by the end of the week his school would have broken up for the holidays and he’d have a whole two weeks off. It had been a battle for Sigurd to get two full weeks off to look after him while he wasn’t at school as the Christmas period was the busiest time for the shopping centre. Eventually Angela had reluctantly agreed, but to demonstrate her annoyance at Sigurd having the time off granted she made sure to put him on toilet attendant duty more than his other colleagues. 

“Miss Manon says that where she comes from in Belgeland they have christmas huts that you can go and buy presents from. There’s hot chocolate and waffles and nice sausages. She showed us a picture on her computer.” Emil mumbled through his cornflakes, and Mads nodded along as he chatted away to himself, smiling beneath the rim of his coffee mug.

“Christmas markets, huh? We have those where I come from too. They’re really pretty and it’s fun to walk around them when it's snowing.” he said, then watched as Emil dramatically gasped and dropped his spoon into his bowl, splashing drops of milk over the side and onto the table.

“Do you think it’ll snow this year for Christmas? I’ve wished and wished ‘cause I wanna build a snowman.” 

His eyes were wide and he clasped his excitedly. 

“I sure hope so, buddy. I love snow. Maybe you could ask Santa?” Mads suggested, then took a bite from his toast just as Sigurd came back through the front door. He was dressed in a clean work uniform, though the blue overalls were slightly creased from where they’d been folded and stored. 

“What are we asking Santa for?” he said as he closed the door and turned to scoop up Emil as he jumped down from the table and ran towards him. 

“For snow, Dad! Then we can build a snowman outside and give it a carrot nose and button eyes.”

Sigurd held Emil against his hip and leant forward, touching their foreheads together then placed a feather light kiss against the nip of his nose. 

“Is that really what you want for Christmas? Is there not anything else that you want Santa to bring?” he asked softly, and Mads watched as Emil slid his arms around the back of Sigurds neck, twisting his hair around his little fingers as he began to list some of the other things that he might want Santa to bring; a new lego set with a police car, a new outfit for his build-a-bear, a glittery juice bottle. 

Then as Sigurd carried him into the bathroom to get him ready for school Mads stood up from the table and began to clear breakfast away as he listened to them continue to chat to each other. The way that Emil spoke to Sigurd made Mads smile as he dropped the dishes into the sink and hope that one day when he was a father of his own children, perhaps they’d speak to him in the same way - like a best friend as well as a parent. Part of Mads knew that this was probably partially down to the fact that Sigurd was still young himself and didn’t talk down to Emil like most adults did, but he still couldn’t help but admire their relationship.

Once he was dressed and ready for school, Sigurd helped Emil into his coat before putting his own on and shoving his feet into his shoes.

“You sure you don’t want a lift?” Mads offered as Sigurd opened the front door and stepped out into the hall.

“No, it’s alright. We don’t mind the bus, do we, Emmie?” Sigurd said with a smile, and Emil reached up to take his hand.

“Nope! We like it!” he chirped, and so Mads nodded with a smile and wished them both a good day before they called for the elevator and closed the front door just as they got in. 

Since Mads had swapped his shift with Alfred in case he’d needed to take Emil to school this morning, he had the whole morning free and didn’t start his shift until 12:30pm. He debated lounging around and wrapping a couple of presents, but instead there was something he wanted to do. Someone he wanted to see.

After spending an hour or so researching online and brushing up his knowledge on a particular subject while nursing another cup of coffee, Mads sent a couple of pages from the website he’d been looking at to his printer and then folded them neatly, tucking them into his wallet before grabbing his car keys and sliding himself into his coat. 

The air was biting when he stepped out to his car, and Mads was thankful that the apartment block had an undercover car park as no doubt if his car had been parked out on the street he’d have to scrape ice off his windshield. The steering wheel was cold to the touch, and as soon as Mads was in the car and the engine had started he turned the heaters on full and waited for a moment for the warm air to start circulating around the interior.

The Christmas radio station he’d had on for the past couple of weeks lifted Mads’ spirits as it played while he drove, though his mind in turmoil as to whether he was overstepping the mark in what he was about to do. The last thing he wanted to do was to hurt Sigurd, but after last night’s conversation he was fairly confident that he’d understand. 

He stopped at the service station for some gas and while he was in the kiosk paying for it he picked up a bunch of flowers too, a colourful bouquet of tulips and roses, that he laid gently on the back seat of his car as he drove to the hospital. 

The signs in the car park were confusing, and Mads drove round in circles for a couple of minutes while he racked his brains, trying to think of the number of the ward that he’d heard Sigurd repeat on the phone when he was talking to Gillian. Eventually he gave up and just pulled into the next parking space that he came to and got out of the car. The main reception was close by, so Mads walked briskly across the car park, his breath fogging around him and his fingers quickly growing cold around the stems of the bouquet. 

A blast of warm air hit him as he stepped through the reception entrance and Mads took his wooly hat from his head and stuffed it in his coat pocket as he reached the desk. 

“Hi, excuse me, I’m here to visit my friend but I’m not sure which ward she's in. Could you help me please?”

The woman behind the desk barely lifted her eyes from her keyboard to acknowledge Mads as she typed away.

“You got a visitor pass?” she said, and Mads just blinked in surprise.

“Uh, no, sorry I don’t.”

Mads hovered for a moment, not quite sure what to say or to do with himself as the woman continued to type as though he wasn’t there until eventually she stopped and took a sheet of paper from the desk drawer behind her and slid it over to Mads with a pen.

“Name and relationship to the patient here,” she began, then slammed a lanyard down beside it. The strap was red and the tag at the bottom of it said ‘visitor’ in bold letters. 

Laying the flowers down on the desk, Mads took the pen and signed his name along the dotted line of the form, then hesitated for a moment as he read over the list of options for his relationship to Natalie. None of them really fit, but in the end he went for ‘family friend’.

“What's the name of your friend?” the receptionist asked when Mads handed the form back to her and slipped his head through the lanyard.

“Natalie. Sorry, I don’t know her last name.” he admitted sheepishly, and shrank a little under the receptionists glare. 

“What’s she in for? What treatment?” she huffed, fingers typing once more on her keyboard, and Mads lowered his voice a little,

“An overdose. She came in yesterday at about 11am if that helps. Sorry I don’t know any more.” 

The receptionist was quiet for a few moments then as she searched the records then glanced at Mads over the rim of her glasses, meeting his eye for the first time.

“Natalie Jenkins?” she asked, and Mads nodded.

“Yeah, that must be her.” he said, picking the flowers back up and smiling widely at the receptionist. 

“Ward 52. Go down this corridor, take a right at the end, then it's the 4th door on your right.” the receptionist pointed toward the double doors on the other side of the waiting room, and Mads thanked her before hurrying through them. The corridor was long, and Mads passed various doctors and nurses as he walked, nodding at them and smiling a little in greeting as he did until he reached the end. Then he took a right just as the receptionist said, and a plastic sign above the door read ‘Ward 52 - Cardiology’.

Once on the ward, Mads counted the doors on his right until he reached the 4th one, and sure enough when he looked through the glass window in the door he saw Natalie lying atop a hospital bed, a thin curtain drawn between her and the bed beside her.

Taking in a breath, Mads knocked lightly on the door before opening it and peering in. Natalie’s eyes fluttered open and she met Mads’ eye, and Mads could see her trying to work out who it was until she gasped and started to sit up.

“No no! Don’t sit up, it’s alright.” Mads said, quickly entering the room and closing the door gently behind him. 

“What’re you doing here? You’re Siggy’s friend aren’t you? Is he alright?” 

Natalie ignored Mads and continued to sit up, wincing a little as the IV in her arm tugged as she accidentally leant her hand on the tubing. Her skin was deathly pale and glistened with a thin layer of sweat, and her dark hair was loose from it’s usual tight bun, instead falling about her shoulders. 

Her eyes were wide as she looked at Mads skeptically as he sat down in the chair beside her and placed the flowers on the little table beside her bed. 

“Sigurds fine, so’s Emil. And yeah, I’m Sig’s friend, Mads.” he smiled at her then took his coat off, twisting a little in his seat to drape it over the back of his chair before turning back to face her.

“How are you?” he asked tentatively, and Natalie swallowed thickly.

She opened and closed her mouth a couple of times, her eyes beginning to brim with tears, so Mads reached out to take her hand and gave it a squeeze.

“I fucked up, Mads. I really fucked up. I’ve hurt Sig, my Mum, my son,” she whispered, her throat cracking as she gripped Mads’ hand tightly. 

“I need help. I’ve knew I needed it for a while, and I should have listened to Sig but it’s hard-”

“I know, I know. Admitting that you need help is a big thing, and coming to terms with it is the biggest step.” Mads interrupted softly, stroking his thumb along the side of Natalie’s hand. 

“Emil- I thought they’d take him away if I asked for help. I thought they’d put him into care and I’d lose him, or I’d go to prison… Will they take him away?” 

Her voice was panicked, and large tears rolled down her cheeks. 

Mads shook his head, taking his hand away from Natalie’s for a moment to grab a tissue from his coat pocket then took her hand again once he’d given it to her.

“No, Emil isn’t going anywhere, I promise, and I know how I can help you if you trust me?” 

Mads was trying his best to remember his training when it came to discussing rehab with clients, but all of the conversation examples he’d ever read in his textbooks were cold, and treated the addicts as though they were people below him, people undeserving of love and a gentle approach, people who the world had given up on, so instead he pushed it all from his mind and continued to smile at Natalie.

“Do you trust me, Natalie?”

She wiped her eyes on the tissue until it was disintegrating in her hand and just sat looking at Mads for what felt like a very long time, but he just sat patiently and waited for her to speak when she was ready.

“Yeah. I trust you. I've had a lot of time to think while I've been sat here, and I need to do this for my family, don’t I?” Natalie said eventually, her voice shaky, and Mads nodded, feeling pride well in his chest.

“And for you, Nat. For you and your family.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't have much to say about this chapter other than that I really hope it came across how I intended it to, with a glimpse into Mads' life and story and why he is the way that he is as well as into Sigurd's family relationship.
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, and I'll see you all next chapter!
> 
> -lumassen x


	9. Chapter Nine

**Chapter Nine:**

The radio played quietly in the background as Mads sat in his car and stared out of the window. Without the rumble of the engine, the voice of the radio presenter filled the car, but Mads wasn’t paying attention. Instead he was watching the revolving doors at the entrance of the rehab clinic spin slowly round and round while he waited for Sigurd to appear. 

He’d been parked up for little under half an hour after driving Sigurd to meet Gillian and Natalie for Natalie’s admission. It had been a week since her overdose, and in that time she’d been discharged, then, with the help of Mads, accepted into a private rehab clinic. As Mads slumped a little further in the driver's seat and gently let his head rest against the window he thought back to everything that had happened. From Natalie first getting admitted to the hospital, his conversation with Sigurd about his childhood, then to the days after when Mads took Emil to school while Sigurd went in to have stitches put into his fractured nose. It had been a strange week, and the fact that the Christmas period was looming only added to the chaos. But life always carried on; Mads knew that better than anyone. 

He was removed from his thoughts when the car door opened and Sigurd slid into the passenger seat, a quick rush of cold air swirling around him and rushing into the car before he pulled the door closed again. Mads had been so concentrated on his thoughts that he hadn’t even noticed Sigurd leave the rehab centre after all. Now that he turned to face him he could see that his eyes were a little red and puffy. 

“How’d it go?” Mads asked tentatively, leaning forward in his seat so that he was leaning on the steering wheel as he regarded Sigurd. 

Not meeting Mads’ gaze, Sigurd instead stared at his feet in the footwell and shrugged,

“I feel terrible for leaving her there, but it’s for the best, right?” he mumbled, though the question was rhetorical in it’s tone as though Sigurd was trying to convince himself rather than actually seeking an answer.

“It seems nice enough, and I’m relieved she’s finally getting help. It’s clean, and the staff were friendly, but…” Sigurd paused, now lifting his gaze to look at Mads, his eyes searching Mads’ own with an unsure expression, 

“D’ya think she’ll be okay?”

Mads took a moment to think about his answer as he drew in a breath and started the engine, pulling his shoulders back as he sat up in his seat. 

“It’s not going to be easy for her, Sig, but Natalie wanted to do this.” he said softly. Sigurd nodded slowly as he put his seatbelt on. After the week they’d both had, Sigurd looked worn out. The dark circles that had been absent from Sig’s face recently were starting to reappear, accentuated further by the remains of the now yellowed bruise that spread across his nose. 

Over the past few days, Sigurd had been awake into the early hours a couple of times. When it was quiet at night, Mads would hear the soft scraping of a chair at the dining table across the floor above him, or the slow, rhythmic tread of his feet as he paced the apartment. There had been a few occasions where Mads had debated getting out of bed and taking himself up to Apartment 43 to see if there was anything that he could do to ease the obvious racing of Sigurd’s mind, but each time he stopped himself. If Sig were his client and not his friend then he wouldn’t be able to do that. 

Of course, his clients wouldn’t usually live above him under normal circumstances and so would naturally have more of a separation to their Social Worker, but Mads knew that he was too attached to Sigurd and Emil to consider them just clients. They were friends, though something at the back of his mind stopped him every time he went to throw off the duvet and take the elevator up to the fourth floor in the middle of the night. 

Thinking back to Natalie, Mads smiled fondly to himself as he put the car in gear once Sigurd had clicked his seatbelt fastened then pulled out of the car park. Over the last couple of days he’d seen a side to Natalie that he didn’t think he would when he’d first met her the day she was outside Sigurd’s apartment, high on something, after trying to pick Emil up from school against the terms of their custody agreement. He’d visited her in the hospital as much as he could to reassure her that rehab wouldn’t be like a prison full of junkies kept against their will as it was often portrayed, and that everyone there chose to admit themselves, just like she had done. 

Underneath the hard exterior and past the defensive shield, Natalie was a good person who'd just lost her way, and it was clear to Mads why Sigurd still loved her deep down.

“She’s gonna be just fine, Sig.” he said catching Sigurd’s eye as he glanced at him, then watched as Sigurd’s gaze flickered past him to watch the rehab clinic grow smaller in the distance as Mads set off down the main road. 

“The nurse said that if she keeps stable then she could possibly be able to spend Christmas day at home.” Sigurd mumbled when he eventually turned back around in his seat to look out of the windshield at the road ahead once the clinic was out of sight. 

There was a small silence broken only by the pop song that was now playing on the radio, and Mads remained quiet until he pulled up to stop at a set of traffic lights.

“Have you told Emil?” he asked, raking a hand through his hair when he caught sight of it starting to fall flat in the rear view mirror.

Sigurd raised an eyebrow,

“Told him what?”

Suddenly feeling a little awkward, Mads turned his attention back to the road.

“Y’know, about Nat.”

“You think I’ve told my five year old son that his mother took a drug overdose?” Sigurd spat, his tone sharp, and Mads sighed heavily.

“No, that’s not what I meant. Look, it doesn’t matter-” he began, but Sigurd cut him off.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to snap. If you mean about Christmas and the fact that there’s a possibility that Nat might not be there, then no I haven’t. Not yet.” 

Despite the apology, Sigurd’s tone was strained, and he didn’t look at Mads and instead nibbled at the skin around his thumbnail.

The traffic light turned green and Mads continued down the road. Quickly, the city became the suburbs, and tower blocks and office buildings turned into gated houses with long driveways and perfectly shaped privets. The winter sky was getting dark despite it only being 3:30pm, yet even still Mads was surprised to see the masses of decorative Christmas lights that he’d noticed this morning already switched on pulled up outside of their destination.

“Speaking of Christmas, I wouldn’t expect anything less than this from someone who’s a mall Santa, huh?” Mads laughed and nodded toward Timo’s house, a little dazed by the brightly flashing LED snowman that stood proudly on the lawn. He was then glad to see a smirk spring to Sigurd’s lips as he reached for the door handle.

“I don’t want to imagine the electricity bill. Unless the house is powered by magic elves on a treadmill in the basement.” Sigurd said as he got out of the car and closed the door behind him, leaving Mads chuckling to himself as he watched Sigurd take himself up the garden path to knock on the front door. Then when the door opened, Sigurd was greeted by Timo’s bright smile before he stepped aside to let him into the house. 

Leaving the engine running while he waited, Mads took his phone from his coat pocket and couldn’t help but smile at the facebook message from his eldest sister.

Along with a message checking if Mads’ address was still the one that she had from the last time she’d visited him in England, Mette had sent a photo that she’d taken of their youngest sister Mabel sitting on top of her overfilled suitcase in a silly attempt to close it, a huge grin on her face.

Christmas eve was 5 days away, and Mads’ family were arriving from Denmark tomorrow evening. He typed out a reply then raised his phone up to take a selfie of himself blowing a kiss at his sisters with his free hand and sent it just as voices could be heard outside the car. Putting his phone away, Mads turned around to look into the back seat as the door opened and Emil clambered in. 

“-and I know all of my words, Dad!” 

“I know, skatt, you’ve been practicing haven’t you?”

When he was excited, Emil had a habit of shouting as he spoke, and Mads watched as he bounced up and down a little while Sigurd fastened his seatbelt for him. In his hand Emil clutched a piece of paper with glitter all over it that was quickly covering the back seat of the car in red and green sparkles. 

“Hi Mads! This is for you,” Emil said proudly once Sigurd had stopped fussing with getting his son strapped into the car and gotten back into the passenger seat. 

“You don’t have to come.” he muttered quietly under his breath to Mads, who reached over into the back seat to take the piece of glittery paper from Emil when he held it out to him. 

The large, wobbly letters that made up Emil’s handwriting were large enough for Mads to see without his reading glasses, it was the spelling that was the trouble. 

“You are.. env.. envit-” Mads began to read out loud, struggling to make out what was written,

“You’re invited to my Christmas play. Please come. Love Emil.” Sigurd said, without having to glance over at the paper to read it, obviously having already done so. His expression was apologetic, but Mads beamed as he turned back around to face Emil.

“You really want me to come, bud?” he asked, and Emil nodded eagerly.

“Yep! I’m the star of Bethlehem! Dad made me a costume.”

Slipping the invitation into the compartment in the door of the car, Mads stole a glance at Sigurd as he gave him a genuine smile.

“Your Dad is really good at making costumes, huh?” he said, then watched as Sigurd’s face turned pink before looking back at Emil, his smile growing even wider. “Of course I’ll come if you want me to.”

At this, Emil clasped his little hands to his chest and cheered loudly, causing Sigurd to look over his shoulder at him and held a finger to his lips,

“Don’t shout please, Emil. Remember what Miss Manon told you at parents evening, use your inside voice.” he chided, and Mads laughed a little under his breath when Emil whispered an apology, taking his Dad’s request far too literally. 

While they drove home, Emil enthusiastically told Sigurd and Mads all about the things he’d gotten up to while playing at Peter’s house. Timo and his husband had graciously agreed to have Emil over for a playdate at short notice and watch him for the afternoon while Sigurd and Mads dealt with Natalie’s admittance into rehab. They hadn’t asked any further questions, and seemed to be content with Sigurd’s brief explanation that a family matter had arisen. Timo hadn’t seemed interested in the reasoning, and quickly turned the conversation to discussing what Emil would like to eat for lunch. 

“Peter has a tranpoline that we bounced on until I felt sick and his tall Dad looked after me and told me to sit down. Then when I didn’t feel sick any more we played house and Peter’s small Dad let us dress up the dog. We pretended that it was our baby, just like I’m your baby. I know I’m five now but I’m still your baby, right Dad?”

Sigurd nodded along as Emil chatted away, then Mads caught him smiling at Emil’s last remark as he placed his chin in his palm and leaned on the car door.

“Yes, Emil. Of course you’re my baby. You always will be.” he said, a soft tone to his voice.

Now it was Emil’s turn to beam, and Mads looked at him through the rear view mirror as he followed his Dad’s gaze and looked out of the window. He was copying Sigurd by leaning against the window, and was quiet for a moment before going off on another tangent about how Suzie in his class would be getting a baby sister soon. 

Usually whenever Mads had driven Emil in the car he would get sleepy and start to doze off, but spending the afternoon with Peter had left him full of energy. By the time Mads pulled into the car park beneath the apartment complex, Emil was still going.

“Can we do my shoebox when we go shopping later, Dad?” he asked as Mads turned the engine off and started to get out of the car, taking Emil’s handmade invitation from the door compartment and folding it into his pocket. 

“Shoebox? What’re you talking about?” Sigurd said as he too got out, and opened the door for Emil.

“For the less unfortunate children. The ones who don’t have any money and are poor. Miss Manon says that there are children whose family's struggle and they don’t have any toys.”

Mads pursed his lips as he watched Sigurd narrow his eyes while he took Emil’s hand and they began to walk to the elevator. 

“What d’ya mean, elskling? What does that have to do with a shoebox?” Sigurd glanced at Emil's scuffed school shoes, "Do they talk about who they think are the poor children?"

The elevator doors opened, and Mads let Sigurd and Emil step in first before he stood beside them and pressed the button for the fourth floor. Emil looked up at him, a puzzled expression on his face, and just like how Emil had mirrored Sigurd in the car, Sigurd glanced at Mads, a similar expression to his son’s on his face as though he knew something he didn’t.

“We have to make one with gifts in it and then the school gives them to the less unfortunate children like I telled you.” Emil said in a huff, rolling his eyes a little which Mads found amusing. 

"Amy’s putting a new barbie in hers ‘cause that’s what she likes to play with so she thinks the other children will like it too. Can we buy some Lego’s to go in ours? Or maybe some Sylvanian families?”

Emil’s chipper voice echoed in the elevator and he swung his arm back and forth, dragging Sigurd’s hand along too as he still held it.

“That’s a nice idea Emil, but…” Sigurd began, then hesitated and bent down a little so he was closer to Emil’s height, “Don’t you think those toys are a little expensive to just give to someone that you don’t know?”

The elevator chimed before Emil could answer, and Sigurd ushered him out, quickly drawing a line under the conversation. He fished in his pocket for his keys, and Mads remained in the elevator, leaning his shoulder against the doors to keep them from closing. 

“Do you, uh, want to come in, Mads?” Sigurd offered, looking back over his shoulder a little apprehensively as he turned the key in the lock. Even after all this time getting to know Sigurd and Emil, Mads had only been in Sigurds apartment three times at most. Each time he did it, it was clear that Sigurd felt awkward or embarrassed about it. He always seemed on edge, unable to relax, and instead would constantly put toys and crayons away when he spotted them, or sweep crumbs from the table and quickly toss them into the bin.

Shaking his head with a smile, Mads politely declined the offer. 

“I’d love to, but I got a tonne of stuff to do tonight. My family are coming tomorrow so I need to make sure everythin’ is ship shape. But thanks for the invite!” he said, then stepped back into the elevator,

“Still, you know where I am if you need anything. Have a good evenin’ Sig, I’ll see ya round!” 

He bid goodbye, waving a little at Emil who waved back before disappearing into his apartment as Sigurd pushed the front door open. The elevator doors began to close, but as they did, to Mads' surprise, Sigurd cried out for him to wait and rushed forward. He slipped his fingers between the gap just before the doors could fully close, wincing a little as he banged his elbow in his haste.

“I- Thank you for today, Mads,” Sigurd said lowly, his gaze flickering up and down between his own feet and Mads’ face, 

“I don’t know what I’d have done if it weren’t for you.”

Hanging his head for a moment and rubbing a hand sheepishly through the hair at the nape of his neck, Mads grinned at Sigurd and shrugged,

“It’s fine, honestly. Ya know I’m happy to help where I can.” 

“I know. I just want to make sure that you know I appreciate it, that’s all. You’re a good friend.”

Warmed at the words, Mads held Sigurd’s eye for a moment as his grin grew a little wider and watched as his face caught a pink tinge. The elevator doors attempted to close again, and Mads quickly held his finger down on the button on the wall to keep them open.

“I meant’ta ask you, are you going to the staff Christmas party?” he asked, and Sigurd just stood and slowly blinked in surprise before his brow creased and his smile disappeared.

“I can’t,” he said, then nodded in the direction of his apartment with a jerk of his head, “No one to watch Emil.” 

Feeling guilty for not even considering the fact that Emil would of course be home alone if Sigurd came to the party, Mads shook his head,

“Sorry, of course, Emil. I didn’t mean to forget about that.” he admitted, but was relieved when Sigurd smiled and shrugged, albeit weakly, as he dismissed the topic and took a step back so that he was out of the way of the elevator doors. 

“I’m sure I’ll see you two before Christmas though, right?”

As Mads continued, he quickly took his finger away from the elevator button and reached into the inside pocket of his coat to retrieve the little red envelope and held it out toward Sigurd.

“Here, take this now, just in case I don’t- Ah, quickly!” 

Once more the elevator doors began to glide closed and Mads exhaled sharply through his nose in annoyance. Hurrying to take the envelope from Mads, Sigurd rushed forward and the elevator doors collided with his shoulders, leaving him sandwiched clumsily between them until they opened again. 

“Don’t open it ‘til Christmas day, okay?” Mads said with a wink, and Sigurd’s face turned a deeper shade of pink as he clasped the gift card gingerly between nimble fingers. His expression was one that Mads hadn’t seen across Sigurd’s features before, and it was as though for a split second all of the worries usually that caused frown lines to run deep across his brow had disappeared. He nodded slowly, his eyes tracing his name written across the front of the envelope quickly before meeting Mads’ again. 

“I won’t. Promise.” 

Holding the envelope close to his chest, Sigurd stepped back over the threshold again and out of the elevator. He stood there a little awkwardly, as if his feet were rooted to the spot.

“Well, I’ll see ya,” bidding goodbye once again to Sigurd, Mads smiled brightly until the doors met and Sigurd was concealed behind them. Now that he was alone, Mads let out a long breath and turned to stare at himself in the mirror. To his surprise, his own face was just as pink as Sigurd’s had turned when he’d accepted the gift. 

It didn’t take long at all for the elevator to go between floors, and so no sooner had the doors closed they opened again and Mads was met with his own front door. The wreath that he’d placed on it last week when he’d decorated his apartment hung proudly in the centre, the faint smell of pine needles filling the corridor. 

Once inside, Mads turned up the dial on the central heating system and slid his shoes off and hung his coat up on the hook.

Part of him was annoyed at himself for things to the last minute, but there was something about an evening filled with gift wrapping and cheesy christmas music that was good for the soul.

With only his fathers and Martha’s presents left to wrap, Mads reached into his coat pocket for his phone where he’d saved all the pinterest recipes he wanted to try. But when he pulled it out it was covered in red and green glitter. 

As a smile spread across his face, Mads returned his hand to his pocket and took out Emil’s christmas play invitation. Now that he was looking at it properly, he chuckled at the drawing that Emil had done of himself at the bottom of the page as he crossed his apartment slowly and stopped by the fridge. Taking down an old opticians appointment reminder from months ago that he’d forgotten to throw away, Mads free’d up a magnet and pinned the invitation in the centre with pride of place. He stood looking at it for a little while longer, his heart softening as his eyes traced the wobbly, scribbly smiling faces, until he shook his head fondly and made his way further into the kitchen while rolling his sleeves up, his mind now focused on the arrival of his family tomorrow. His _real_ family.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hello hello this chapter has been sat waiting to go for about a month and a half but I was too nervous to post it lmao sorry for the delay!
> 
> I know it's a bit of a slow chapter, but I hope you like it all the same! I don't think I'll get the next chapter out before Christmas, so as much as I tried to keep this fic seasonal I think Christmas is apt 43 land is gonna stretch into January :')
> 
> Thanks for reading! Until next chapter ❤️
> 
> -lumassen


	10. Chapter Ten

**Chapter Ten**

“Y’know, anyone would think Mum had a favourite child.”

Mads was stood over the sink scrubbing at a greasy pan beneath the sudsy water when Mette came wandering in from the living room, an empty wine glass in her hand.

“Oh yeah? What makes ya say that?” he teased, glancing at his oldest sister as she leaned on the counter beside him and set her glass down.

“ _My darling Matthias, look at you! Oh you get more handsome every time I see you. I’ve missed you so much, will you ever come back to Denmark?”_ Mette spoke dramatically, imitating their mother as she reached over to ruffle Mads’ hair affectionately.

“You’re her only son _and_ her youngest child, so is it really a surprise?”

Returning his attention to the pan, Mads couldn’t help but smile at the thought of his mother.

From the moment she walked through the door she hadn’t stopped gushing about how wonderful it was to have all of her children together under one roof; even if there weren’t enough chairs for everyone.

“Yeah but being the oldest surely has it’s perks, right?”

Mette scoffed at this as she reached for the red wine bottle and poured herself another glass,

“Tell me you’re joking. Being the oldest sucks, I was the practice child, the one who mother was strictest with while she was a first time parent. When it came to you she was ready to let you get away with anything as long as she could sit down while you did it.”

Despite her complaining, there was no malice in Mette’s voice. She had a grin plastered on her face, one that had been there ever since she set foot in Mads’ apartment earlier that afternoon.

“Speaking of kids, what’s this drawing all about?”

Mads turned to look over his shoulder again to find that Mette had moved away from the counter and was standing in front of the fridge, sipping from her wine glass while looking curiously at Emil’s Christmas play invitation.

“Oh, that! Well, you remember my neighbour, Sigurd, that I told you about?”

Mette peered at Mads over the rim of her glass and nodded,

“It’s his son, little Emil. He’s invited me to his Christmas play.”

For a moment, it looked as though Mette was smirking from behind her glass, her eyes creasing a little, but when she lowered it and set it down on the kitchen table in front of her it had vanished.

“So are you going to go?”

Mads smiled softly and turned once more back to the dishes in the sink,

“Course I am. I wouldn’t miss it.” He said confidently, pulling his shoulders back in pride.

Then, a comfortable silence fell between the two siblings, only broken by the sound of laughter and chatter coming from their family in the living area and the rustling of the packet of crisps Mette took down from the snack cupboard.

“This Sigurd, then. You two are friends?”

Coming back over to stand beside Mads, Mette kept the conversation going and held out a large crisp out to Mads who leaned over and let her pop it into his mouth.

“Oh definitely. He’s a really cool person,” Mads paused to swallow his mouthful, “He’s funny, and smart. It’s a shame that he can’t come to the staff party, ‘cause I was lookin’ forward to hanging out with him.”

“Why can’t he?” Mette questioned, and Mads sighed,

“Emil. He’s got no one to watch him.”

“What about getting a sitter?”

Mads opened his mouth to reply, but stopped himself when he realised what he was about to assume. He’d wondered the same thing last night, but after the brief conversation in the elevator surrounding buying things for Emil’s shoebox he could imagine that it might have something to do with the fact that Sigurd simply couldn’t afford a sitter. But then again, he didn’t want to make assumptions.

“It’s too short notice, all the good ones in the area are booked up.” Mads said instead, and watched out of the corner of his eye as Mette nodded slowly. She brought her glass to her lips again, but paused before she took a sip and drew in a breath.

“What if I watched him?”

The plate that Mads had just washed slipped from his sudsy hands and fell with a clatter onto the dish-drying rack as he turned to look at Mette fully.

“What?”

She shrugged, “Well, how old is he? He’s not a _baby_ baby, right? Like, he can feed himself and watch TV?”

Mads blinked, waiting for any sign that Mette wasn’t serious about her suggestion, but found none.

“Uh, he’s five. And yeah, he’s pretty independent for a kid his age, and he really likes watching movies when he can.”

“Then it’s settled. Me and the girl’s will watch him tomorrow night while you go to your party. It sounds like Sigurd deserves a night off, and Martha is always telling me she’s ready for kids, so we’ll see about that.”

Mette’s grin grew even wider as she winked at her brother, who was just standing in front of her a little dumbfounded, soapy water dripping from his hands all over the floor and wetting his socks.

“Wait but Sig might not be okay with this, I should ask him-“

“Then ask him.” Mette said, as though it were so simple, “Mum and Dad have plans to go out in town for a meal in the evening anyway, so me, Mart, and Mabes were just gonna hang out back at our hotel tomorrow night while you were at this party. It’s not like we have to change any plans, and it’ll give us something to do.”

Before Mads had chance to argue, Mette picked up the packet of crisps from the counter and sauntered back into the living area, perching herself on the end of the couch and tossed her arm around Martha’s shoulder no doubt already informing her of her newly formulated plan.

Spinning around on his heel, Mads dunked his hand into the now dirty dishwater and pulled the plug out then quickly dried his hands on a dish cloth.

“Matthias darling, before you come and sit down, can you pour your old mother another glass of white please? Your sister didn’t think to fill anyone else’s glass but hers.” Mads’s mother, Margarit, called to him as he appeared in the living room and held out her empty glass towards him over the back of the couch, a flushed smile on her face no doubt the result of already too much wine. But it was Christmas, and Mads didn’t have the heart to refuse his mother her favourite tipple.

He laughed as Mette threw her hands up in mock exasperation and pleased her case that she had asked if anyone wanted anything from the kitchen before she went in, and that no one had answered her. Taking the glass from Margarit, Mads hurried back into the kitchen and took the wine from the fridge, Emil’s invitation fluttering around as the fridge door opened and closed again.

“Here, Ma. There’s not much left in the bottle so don’t drink it too fast.” He warned, carefully passing her the glass back over the couch.

“But actually, before I come and sit with you I just need to quickly run out and do something. I won’t be long, I’m only going upstairs, so you start the game without me and I’ll be back in five minutes.”

Mads spoke quickly as he shoved his feet into his shoes and hopped around a little clumsily on one foot while he lifted one foot up to straighten the shoe at the back of his heel.

“Ugh be quick, Mads! Monopoly takes _years_ to play so I wanna start soon so we can to get it over and done with.” Mabel whined, slumping down further on the couch and folded her arms across his chest.

Mads shook his head and laughed under his breath as he opened the front door,

“Start without me! I won’t be long, I promise!”

Then as he stepped out into the hallway the sounds of a typical monopoly argument over who got to be the little dog drifted from his apartment until he closed the door behind him and hurried up the stairs to the 4th floor, not bothering with the elevator.

When he arrived at Sigurd’s door slightly out of breath from running up the stairs two at a time, Mads paused for a moment to admire the handmade wreath that now adorned it. It was a little wonky and nowhere near a perfect circle, but it was quite obviously hand made, built up of sticks and branches of holly that Sigurd and Emil had probably collected from the local park limply intertwined and finished with red tinsel woven through the leaves. Mads smiled at it, and brought his hand up to knock on the door, his knuckles rapping softly.

Taking a step back, he waited for the door to open, but when no one came he knocked again, a little louder this time.

Another minute passed and still no answer, and so Mads was about to take his leave assuming that they were probably out when a timid voice sounded from the other side of the door, muffled against the keyhole.

“Who… Who is it?” Emil called through the door, and Mads knelt down on the doormat so that he too was level with the keyhole.

“Hi Emmie, it’s Mads-“

“Mads!” Emil cried, interrupting him, “Yay it’s Mads! Wait a minute I’ll open the door-“

“No! Don’t do that, Em, your Dad won’t like that. You must never open the door for anyone unless your Dad says that you can, okay? Not even me.” Mads called loudly through the door and listened as Emil stopped fiddling with the lock on the other side.

“Okay, I won’t open it. Sorry.” Emil mumbled, and Mads smiled to himself.

“Don’t be sorry, I’m not mad at ya, just tellin’ ya to be careful. Where is your Dad, anyway?”

Mads’ calves were beginning to burn from being crouched down, so he adjusted himself on the doormat so that he was sat on the floor cross legged.

“He’s in the shower! I'll fetch him!”

Mads smiled again at Emil’s eagerness and shook his head,

“No no, don’t bother him, just tell him that… uh, that I have something to tell him and that it’s… well, it’s not important, but I need an answer I guess so that we can make arrangements.” Mads rambled, then a silence fell in the hallway for a moment before Emil spoke again,

“What?” he said eventually, and Mads smirked, glad that Sigurd wasn’t present to hear his son say ‘what’ instead of ‘pardon’.

“Sorry, bud, I wasn’t very clear, was I? Just tell him that Mads needs to speak to him about something, so when he gets a minute to come down to my apartment. Can you do that for me?”

“Yep! I’ll tell him! Bye Mads!”

Without so much as waiting for a response, Mads heard Emil scamper away from the door and probably return to whatever game he was playing before Mads knocked on the door. He stood up, wiping away the dirt from the backs of his jeans from where he’d been sitting on the mat and made his way back downstairs to his apartment. The excitement he’d felt no less that five minutes ago at the offer he was about to make Sigurd had suddenly vanished now that he was thinking more about it. As he reached his front door once again his stomach was in knots, wondering if Sigurd would be offended, or if he’d turn him down. Perhaps he’d be angry, or worse creeped out that Mads’ sister who he’d never met was offering to watch over his son.

But as he opened the door and stepped back inside, Mads didn’t have the opportunity to worry about it any longer as his whole family beckoned him over to where they were crowded around the kitchen table.

“Mads, Dad’s already in jail!” Martha cried, poking fun at their poor father who already looked as though he was all monopoly-d out despite the game only just starting.

“I hope yer not expectin’ me to bail him out.” Mads teased as he took the last empty chair beside his mother. He took in a breath and cleared his mind, then clapped his hands together and rubbed his palms enthusiastically, eyes scanning the game board.

“Right then, who’s got the dice? Is it my turn?”

\----------

Three and a half hours later, Mabel won by default by having the most money when everyone got fed up and decided to call it a night. Mette was convinced that she’d been cheating, as she was the banker, and Mads decided that it was best to leave them to bicker and didn’t dare add his 2 cents to the debate.

“We’d best call it a night soon girls and get to the hotel. It’s getting late and we haven’t even unpacked.” Mads’ father, Anders, reminded them while checking the time on his watch as they began to clear up the game.

“So, what’s the plan for tomorrow night then?” Mette leant over the table to Mads and spoke quietly, leaning her chin in her palm.

Mads ran a hand through his hair and slumped back in his chair,

“I dunno, sis. I thought that Sigurd would’ve come down to see what I wanted by now, but I guess he’s busy. Or maybe Emil didn’t tell him-“

“Matthias sweetheart, there’s a young man here for you.”

Startled, Mads whipped around in his seat to find his mother holding the front door open, and it was none other than Sigurd standing awkwardly in the hallway.

“Ma! Don’t just open my front door!”

Leaving Mette at the table, Mads leapt up and crossed the room quickly, shooting daggers at his mother who looked at him as though she had done no wrong before slinking off to rejoin the rest of the family. A silence had suddenly fallen across the apartment, quieter than it had been all day, and so Mads decided to join Sigurd out in the hallway instead of trying to talk to him in front of his eavesdropping siblings.

He stepped outside and closed the door behind him, smiling a little shyly at Sigurd.

“I’m so sorry, I forgot that your family would be here. I can come back down again later if you want?” Sigurd mumbled, his arms folded firmly across his chest and his shoulders were hunched a little.

“Don’t be silly! It was me that asked you down here after all, and it’s actually concerning my family.”

Sigurd relaxed a little, a thin eyebrow raising in curiosity,

“Oh?” he said, and Mads hung his head a little, his palms suddenly clammy,

“Well, see, the thing is, I know you can’t get a sitter for Emil at such short notice for the staff Christmas party tomorrow, so I was chatting with my sister – nothing bad! – but she sorta offered to, um, watch Emil for you. That’s if you wanted to come of course-“

“Wait, what?”

Sigurd’s arms unfolded and dropped by his side loosely as his eyes narrowed. Mads couldn’t read his expression, but it certainly wasn’t _bad_.

“It totally understand if it’s weird, I just though that I’d at least extend the offer to you. I’d really like it if you could come, it’d be real fun, but it’s not a big deal!”

Sigurd was quiet for a moment, his eyes wandering over Mads’ face, then they fluttered closed while he let out a long sigh,

“That’s really kind of you, Mads, but it wasn’t finding a sitter that’s the problem… It’s just, well they’re expensive and I don’t have that kind of cash to spend on myself. I’ve got to get Emil his presents and buy food for the holidays when I can barely afford-“ Sigurd paused to cast his gaze quickly to the ceiling and threw his head back, dragging a hand through his hair,

“It doesn’t matter about the details, but I wouldn’t be able to pay your sister-“

“I don’t expect payment, just think of it as a favour from a friend. Well, your friend’s big sister.”

Mette cracked the door open and poked her head out into the hall. Mads watched as Sigurd’s face turned bright red and he swallowed thickly, standing up straighter and puffing out his chest.

“ _Mette what the fuck, how long have ya been listenin’?”_ Mads hissed, turning to his sister and glaring at her.

“ _Long enough.”_ She whispered back, the opened the door wider and stepped out into the hall.

“Hi Sigurd, I’m Mette, Matthias’s older sister. I’ve heard a lot about you.”

Extending a hand toward Sigurd, Mette smiled kindly and wound a stray lock of red hair around her finger with her other hand. Hurrying to take her hand, Sigurd shook it then cleared his throat.

“It’s, um, nice to meet you.”

Inwardly, Mads was cringing, sensing Sigurd’s obvious discomfort.

“Why don’t you come in, we can talk a little more?”

Taking a step back, Sigurd shook his head slowly and held up a hand in dismissal,

“Oh, no it’s alright. I’d better get back to my apartment, my son is all alone up there asleep and I really shouldn’t leave him. But uh, it really was nice meeting you.”

Fumbling blindly behind him, Sigurd’s hand traced the wall until his finger found the button for the elevator and called it. His lips were pursed as he kept his gaze locked with Mads’ and the silent air between the trio grew more awkward with every second that passed. Finally the elevator chimed and the doors slid open, and Sigurd stepped inside, nodding at Mads before the doors closed again, swallowing him with.

As soon as he was out of sight, Mads whirled around to address Mette.

“Why the hell did you do that? Sig’s not good with this kinda stuff, you can’t pity him that’s not how it works!”

Mette held her hands up and narrowed hers eyes,

“I’m sorry! I was tryin’ to do you a favour. I can see how much ya like the guy so I wanted to help!”

At this, Mads stiffened, his jaw slackening a little,

“Whaddya mean, _like him_?” he demanded, folding his arms tightly across his chest.

Mette scoffed,

“Come on, Matthias. You can’t kid me. It’s okay, we all know that you’re-”

“Enough, Mette.” Mads silenced her before she could finish her sentence, “Dad’s right, I think it’s time you all went back to the hotel.”

Blinking back tears that dared to sting at his eyes, Mads turned to look at the wall, avoiding Mette’s gaze and the look of hurt on her face.

She sighed softly and Mads’s shrugged her hand away when she tried to reach up to place it on his shoulder.

“Fine. We’ll go. I won’t interfere with your business again.”

“Great, thank you.” Mads snapped, wanting to have the last word.

“I’m going for a walk, you can see yourselves out. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Opening the door to his apartment, Mads leaned in and snatched his coat from the hook and grabbed his shoes. Dropping them onto the mat, he shoved his feet in and set off walking down the hall before they were even on properly, leaving Mette standing in the open doorway.

It wasn’t until he was around the corner and in the stairwell out of her sight did he stop and slump down on the top step. Through the tears still swimming in his eyes Mads could barely see as he attempted to tie the laces on his shoes, growing frustrated with every attempt until eventually he gave up and leant his head against the metal bannister railings.

His heart was hammering in his chest as it heaved, and he spent a moment trying to slow his breathing.

Mette was right, and the fact that she seemed to be okay with it made Mads want to burst, but that didn’t make things any easier.

He liked Sigurd. _Really liked him._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> aaaaaaaaaaa


	11. Chapter Eleven

Chapter Eleven 

Mads wasn’t very good at feeling sorry for himself. He tried moping on the couch with a tub of ice cream, but he couldn’t stay still or focus on the hallmark movie for anything more than five minutes at a time. Then, he tried laying in a heap in his bed with the covers firmly pulled over his head, but he got too hot. In the end he’d taken himself into the kitchen and scrubbed it clean, vigorously wiping down the counters, re-organising pots and pans and even going as far as pulling the refrigerator out to sweep behind it to try to focus his attention on something else other than the thoughts drumming round his brain. 

By the time he was finished his back was sticky with sweat, and so he threw the living room window open and leaned out a little, and the cold, wintery night air quickly stinging his cheeks as the wind rushed in. 

He didn’t even know _why_ he was feeling sorry for himself. It’s not as though Sigurd was upset with him, and even despite disappearing at the end of the first night spent with his family, they had each still sent him their usual goodnight text messages, their tone no different than usual. 

Closing his eyes, Mads leaned out of the window a bit further, feeling the breeze tickling his hair against his forehead. He stayed like that for a couple of minutes, listening to the sounds of the traffic below, the rumble of a plane thousands of feet above him. But then, he cracked an eye open and at the sound of a gentle knocking coming from _inside_ his apartment. He was still and silent for a moment, listening for it again above the noise from outside, and was just about to pass it off as something he’d imagined when he heard it again.

Stepping away from the window and closing it softly, Mads peered into the kitchen and squinted at the time on the clock on the wall. 

1:20am. 

The sound was coming from above but it wasn’t Emil’s secret code, nor Sigurd’s footsteps softly pacing. It was a different and new rhythm being tapped into the floorboards most likely to get his attention. It was way too late at night for it to be Emil, so that must mean-

Sigurd.

Mads’ heart sped up as he crossed his apartment without so much as a second thought, and already had his shoes on and was grabbing his keys to head out the door before he realised just how quick he’d been to respond to what was still only potentially Sigurd’s call. He hesitated, one hand grasping the door handle, the other pulling at his roots as he dragged it through his hair. 

Mads had no reason to ignore Sigurd. He wasn’t tired, nor did he plan on going to bed any time soon, but as he stood there, he couldn’t help but wonder if the professional line between them had officially been crossed beyond any going back.

Sigurd was his friend, and had been for some time now, but ever since Mette’s interference that evening Mads couldn’t shake the feeling that he’d gotten himself invested too deeply in Sigurd and his life. 

But he still opened the door and left his apartment, pocketing his keys and taking the now familiar route up the stairs and came to a stop once again outside Sigurd’s door. 

He raised his hand to knock, but before the back of his hand could touch the door it opened slowly and Sigurd stood before him, a finger pressed softly to his lips.

“Hi Mads,” he whispered, then stepped aside and opened the door wider, “sorry it’s so late.”

The verbal invitation for Mads to enter his apartment never came, but his bashful smile as he nodded toward his couch was enough for Mads to wipe his feet on the mat and step over the threshold. 

Sigurd’s apartment was dimly lit with a faint orange glow cast only by a single lamp that stood in the corner of the living room. Toys were strewn all over the room, and dishes were piled in the sink, but if anything Mads was glad of the sight of them instead of a pristine home that felt false, and felt humbled that Sigurd seemed to finally feel comfortable allowing him to see anything but a spotless house. 

Realising that he’d not answered Sigurd, Mads turned to him with a smile as he gently closed the front door.

“It’s okay, I was awake anyway so I heard yer knocking. Everythin’ alright, Sig? I like the adult code though. We keepin’ it?” he said, keeping his voice low as he stood in the middle of the living room. 

“Mm-hm, and I was just thinkin’ that’s all.” Sigurd mumbled, bowing his head as he slipped past Mads to avoid letting him see his flushed face and took himself over to the couch. 

Mads laughed a little and joined him, sinking down into the cracked leather couch cushions,

“Oh yeah? Runnin’ the midnight oil?” he grinned, and Sigurd glanced at him for a moment as he brought his legs up onto the couch and hugged his knees to his chest. 

“I guess you could say that.” He replied through a long exhale and tucked his hair behind his ear,

“I was thinking about your sisters offer. I was thinking how kind it is, and how if she’s really sure, then I’d like to take her up on it.”

Mads sat up, shifting in his seat so that he was directly facing Sigurd to his right,

“What? Really?” he exclaimed, his grin stretching even wider, causing Sigurd to glare at him and shush him while he pointed towards Emil’s bedroom,

“Sorry, sorry,” Mads apologised, dropping his voice back down to a whisper, “but of course she’s sure. Are _you_ sure? I mean, I know it’s a bit sudden, but I promise she’s a good person. Emil will love her.”

At this, a small smile crept over Sigurd’s lips,

“If she’s anything like you, then I don’t doubt that, Mads.” He whispered, catching Mads’ eye for a split second before his gaze returned to the hardwood floor. 

“It’s probably been at least 5 years since I’ve done something for me. But, I’m not being selfish, am I?” Sigurd continued, an underlying tone of uncertainty to his voice as he picked at a hole in the couch cushion beside him absentmindedly.

“Of course you're not being selfish," Mads reassured him, "Don’t feel like you have to take up the offer, we won’t be offended, but you’re not being selfish, not one bit. Every parent deserves at least one night off, you included.” he said, nudging Sigurd playfully in the side, pleased when he looked up from the floor and a smile was still on his face.

“I wonder if my suit still fits…” Sigurd mused, then inched himself forward until he reached the edge of the couch and stood up, “Wait here a minute.” 

As Sigurd left the room he had a spring in his step, and Mads felt a warmth starting in the pit of his stomach. 

While Sigurd was gone, Mads took a moment to look around the apartment some more without Sigurd watching him do so. Turning to look behind him, Mads leant one arm on the back of the couch and smiled to himself as he looked at the many drawings and pictures that covered every single inch of cupboard space in the kitchen. They seemed to flow in some sort of order, the oldest and most scribble-like drawings on the left hand side, then the ones on the far right that must have been the most recent as both Emil’s colouring had neatened and his handwriting had improved. 

Mads was just about to stand up to go and take a closer look at them when Sigurd reappeared, dressed in a smart white shirt and matching navy blue two-piece suit and stopped him in his tracks.

“The blazer is a little big since I lost some weight, and I don’t have a tie, but do you think this’ll do?”

Standing as confidently as Mads had ever seen him, Sigurd pushed his hair out of his eyes and turned around on the spot, showing off his outfit. 

“Wow Siggy, you look really great!” Mads enthused, but then his face fell as Sigurd suddenly froze and stared at him, 

“What? What’s wrong?” he pressed, holding his breath while Sigurd sighed and shook his head.

“Nothing. It’s just… that name. Nat used to call me Siggy.” 

Mads wanted to kick himself as he watched the look of happiness that had just started to make itself at home across Sigurd’s features slowly fade away. 

“Sorry, I dunno why I called you that. I won’t do it again.” He apologised, but to his surprise Sigurd just waved a hand loosely in dismissal,

“It’s fine, don’t worry. You can call me what you like, it just… took me by surprise, that’s all.” Sigurd sighed softly, “Anyway, I don’t suppose you’d like a cup of tea?” he offered as he continued while slipping out of his suit jacket and draping it over the back of the couch. 

“Oh, uh, yeah, sure bud, if you don’t mind me still being here this late.” Mads said and followed Sigurd with his eyes as he walked around the couch and into the kitchen.

He took down two mugs and filled the kettle, then when it was set to boil turned back to Mads.

“Milk and sugar?” 

\-------------

  
  


By the time his mug was empty, Mads was beginning to feel a little drowsy, the sweet chamomile tea already working it’s magic.

While they drank their tea, Mads and Sigurd made loose arrangements for tomorrow evening, though Sigurd seemed to ask more questions about Mette than he had about the plan for the staff party.

Mads had assured him that Mette was more than responsible, and the only reason she hadn’t had kids of her own yet at 34 is that because sadly she wasn’t able to. 

Deep down Mads knew that this was one of the reasons that Mette had been so quick to offer to watch Emil, and part of him was happy that she’d get the opportunity to spend time with a child as wonderful as Emil. 

“I can even get her to call you every hour if you like, and you can talk to Emil yourself over the phone.” Mads said as he set his mug down onto the coffee table. 

“Don’t worry about that, I don’t want it to seem like I don’t trust her. Besides, it’s only for a couple of hours.” Sigurd said with a strained smile, then tipped his head back as he drank the last drop of his own tea. 

“Just tell her what his routine is, show her where his things are, and at least he’ll be in his own home-”

“Oh, I’m not bringing him to your apartment?” Sigurd interrupted, his brows furrowed.

Mads looked at him for a moment before laughing a little,

“Course not, Mette can watch him up here where it’s familiar… right?” 

Nervously, Sigurd looked around, his gaze flickering to the unwashed dishes, then to the empty TV stand behind where Mads was sitting, his frown growing deeper. Taking the hint, Mads put on what he hoped was a reassuring smile and continued,

“Or if you’re not okay with that, then he’s totally welcome to stay with her at my place. Just bring down whatever you think he would need. Toys, snacks, books, whatever you need, bud.”

Sigurd visibility relaxed a little as he nodded, then whet his lips as he opened his mouth to say something, hesitating for a moment before doing so,

“I’m looking forward to it. A lot, actually. The party, I mean.” he said, his voice timid, though Mads could hear his smile through his words in the lilt of his tone.

Mads beamed,

“So am I, Sig! It’s gonna be great,” he enthused loudly, but then his heart sank when Emil’s muffled cries started from his bedroom and Sigurd bowed his head to pinch the bridge of his nose.

“Sorry! I’m so sorry, ahhh, Sig, I’m sorry,” Mads apologised profusely, raking a hand through his hair as Sigurd sighed and got up from the couch,

“It’s fine, don’t worry. He’s a light sleeper so it was bound to happen. But, you should probably go before I see to him or he’ll never go back to sleep if he knows you’re here.” Sigurd said as hurried towards Emil’s bedroom door, his voice soft and the hint of a smile still lingering in his eyes,

“Right, yeah, okay got it. Uh, so I’ll see you tomorrow then? The party starts at 7pm so uh-”

Mads flapped, not taking his eye off Sigurd as he took steps backwards towards the front door, learly tripping over a toy tractor on the rug,

“I’ll bring him down at 5:30pm just after I’ve given him his dinner and we can meet Mette.” Sigurd said, placing one hand on the door handle to Emil’s room as his cries got louder, and Mads nodded, his own hand opening the front door.

“Okay. Til then. Goodnight, Sig.” he smiled widely across the room to his friend, who smiled back just as wide,

“Night, Mads.”

Upon slipping out into the hall, Mads just caught Sigurd entering Emil’s room as he turned to close the door behind him, muttering calming sweet nothings to him before perching himself on the bed beside where his son was tucked beneath the covers. He watched for a moment through a small gap in the door, his heart warm and happy within his chest before he closed it altogether. 

\-----------

The following day, Mads had spent the day in a flurry of excitement, trying on various outfits and suits until he decided on the perfect one. Then he showered, tamed his hair and even went as far as tweezing between his unruly eyebrows a little to really smarten himself up. He didn’t have many excuses to dress up to the nines, and he loved christmas, so by the time Mette came by later that afternoon Mads found that he was wishing the day away.

“Well I think that just about covers it. Right, Emil?” 

Sigurd sat on Mads’ couch with Emil on his knee, stroking his hands through his hair as he buried his face close to his chest, looking at Mette nervously.

It was a couple minutes to 6:30pm, and Sigurd had arrived little under an hour ago. He and Mads had spent the last hour chatting with Mette about the plan and bedtime routine for Emil, and introducing her to him.

Emil hadn’t taken to her as quickly as Mads had first thought, and everytime Sigurd tried to coax him off his lap he was reluctant to, his tiny fists gripping at Sigurd’s suit jacket so tightly that when he eventually let go it was creased and wrinkled. 

“Okay! Got it.” Mette said enthusiastically, then slid off the couch so that she landed just in front of it on the floor. She patted the carpet beside her, beckoning for Emil to join her by looking up at him with a big smile. 

“C’mon Emil, do you wanna play a game with me?” she offered, her smile faltering a little when Emil shook his head in refusal and squirmed closer to Sigurd so that he was practically clinging to him. He hadn’t spoken a word since arriving, even when prompted by Sigurd, and Mads could tell by the expression on Sig’s face that he was beginning to worry and have doubts.

“Hey Emil, c’mere for a second, I’ve got a real special secret to share with you!” Mads spoke up, standing up from the couch and striding over to the kitchen. Emil hesitated for a moment, his gaze flickering between his Dad’s face and Mads. Eventually, when Sigurd nodded in reassurance, Emil slipped down from his knee and gingerly crossed the apartment to where Mads was crouched down in the kitchen.

“So, you can’t say anything about this. It’s _top secret information_.” he whispered, then watched as Emil’s hazel eyes widened in curiosity.

“What is it?” he mumbled, and Mads put on a mock-serious frown,

“My sister doesn’t know how to build with Legos.” 

Emil gasped, and Mads continued,

“She’s been saying for a long time that she wants someone to show her. She’s always wanted to build, uh, a space station. Y’know, with a rocketship and-”

“And an alien swimming pool?” 

Mads had to suppress a grin at Emil’s interjection and instead nodded seriously,

“Yes, an alien swimming pool. I told her that I know this guy, his name is Emil, and he’s the best person I know that builds with Legos. D’ya think you could teach her?”

Emil looked conflicted as he nibbled at the edge of his fingernail, a habit that was so similar to Sigurd that for a moment he had such an uncanny resemblance to his father in both his expression and posture. Then, he nodded slowly, smiling a little from behind his hand,

“Yep, I can do that.” he said, and Mads grinned, ruffling the top of his head affectionately as he stood up from where he was crouched on the floor.

“Thanks, buddy.” he winked down at him, then caught Sigurd’s eye as he looked into the living room. He’d stood up and was peering over at Emil, and Mads watched as the tension on his face eased when Emil came bounding over and began rooting around in his toy chest, calling Mette over to come and help him. 

She crawled over on all fours and sat cross legged beside him while he dumped the cloth bags of his assorted legos into her lap the exact same way he’d done the first time he’d met Mads. 

Sigurd and Mads both moved toward each other, meeting in the middle of the kitchen-diner and looked as Emil now enthusiastically explained to Mette how many different types of Lego bricks there were. 

“What did you say to him?” Sigurd mumbled as he leant a little closer to Mads so that he wouldn’t be overheard. He was so close that Mads could smell his cologne, and noticed a tiny bit of paper towel stuck to his jawline from when he’d blotted after a close shave. 

“It’s top secret. If rumour got out then Mette would probably be stripped of her Danish nationality if people thought it were true.” Mads said with a wink, and then laughed when Sigurd just blinked at him, puzzled.

“Sig you, er, you got a bit of tissue stuck to…” Mads pointed to the same spot on his own jawline, and Sigurd brought his hand up to rub at his face.

“Is it gone?” Sigurd looked down at his hand looking for traces of the tissue.

“Yeah all good.” Mads smiled, then glanced at the clock,

“We should probably get going soon if we don’t wanna be unfashionably late, but first I gotta give you something, hang on a sec!”

Quickly sliding through his apartment in his socks Mads hurried into his bedroom and pulled open the top drawer of his dresser. In a similar fashion to Emil rummaging through his toy box, Mads discarded socks and underwear onto the bed behind him until he found what he was looking for.

Winding around his fist a little, Mads closed the drawer and rejoined Sigurd in the living room, stepping toward him with a grin on his face and his hands behind his back. 

Sigurd raised an eyebrow as he turned to face Mads, then his eyes widened a little beneath the blonde strands that fell across them as Mads took his hands from behind his back.

“Tada! I thought the colour would suit you, so I thought I’d lend this to you. It’ll look handsome with your suit.”

Mads was beaming as he held a slim, burgundy tie out toward Sigurd, wiggling his eyebrows a little as he ushered for him to take it. 

Gingerly, Sigurd took it from him, unwinding it from around his hand,

“Are you sure?” he asked as he clasped it, and Mads laughed heartily,

“Of course, bud!”

After a moment's hesitation, Sigurd turned up his shirt collar and slipped the tie around his neck, knotting it loosely and then smoothing it out.

“How do I look?” he said as he brought his collar back down.

Mads’ cheeks ached as a result of the smile he’d been wearing for the last hour or so,

“You look ready for a party.”

\------------

Deciding that it was best not to make a big deal out of leaving Emil with Mette, Sigurd quickly said his goodbyes and goodnights to his son before they slipped out just as The Lion King was starting, the movie Emil instantly said when Mette asked what his favourite was. Sigurd had remembered to scribble down his phone number down just as they were leaving onto a post-it note on the fridge in case of any emergencies, and Mette promised to call at least once with a quick update around bedtime. 

The wind was biting when Sigurd and Mads stepped out of the apartment block and onto the street, arms tightly folded across their chests while they dashed for the nearest metro entrance. 

“Shit, quickly! I can hear it coming!” Mads cried as he raced down the steps and stopped by the ticket machine. They were already running a little late, and Mads was conscious that last admission into the party before food was served was 7:30.

“Which line is it to the mall? Are we getting the right one?” 

Following the map on the top of the machine with his finger, Mads traced the purple line for six stops until he found the shopping centre. Then as the metro train rumbled into the station he shoved his hand in his pocket for his wallet,

“Mads there’s no time for that, we’ll miss it,” Sigurd said lowly as the train came to a stop and the doors hissed open. 

“Are you saying _jump the metro_?” Mads replied, his voice just as low yet still laced with genuine surprise at Sigurd’s suggestion, eyes darting between Sigurd and the metro car. Then, the shrill beeping of the doors sounded, signalling that they were about to close, and Mads made the split second decision to grab Sigurds extended hand and let him pull him into the train just as the doors slid closed.

Swallowing nervously as he raked a hand through his hair, Mads looked down at Sigurd’s slight mischievous grin as he gripped the metal pole in the middle of the car to steady himself as it set off.

“It’s only 6 stops, and there’s no inspectors at this time of night, especially on a Monday night.” he said, then when Mads didn’t say or do anything but shove his hands deeply in his pocket and hunch his shoulders a little, feeling as though knowing eyes were on him, Sigurd laughed, light and breathy, and Mads felt his spirit lift just a little.

“We can walk back home if you’re so worried.” Sigurd teased, sending an elbow playfully into Mads’ ribs.

\--------

It felt strange arriving at the mall at this time of night and not feeling mentally drained after a late shift. Instead, Mads and Sigurd stepped off the metro and onto the platform, spotting several other people that got off at their stop that they recognised from various stores across the mall. There was a buzz across the platform, and Louis and Abel from the food court greeted Mads as they began up the steps and out into the mall, nodding at Sigurd too with kind smiles.

They chatted about this and that, then stopped in front of the security at the top of the stairs.

“Evenin’ gents, ID and occupation please. What store ‘you from?”

Mads fumbled in his pocket for his store ID card, flashing it at the bald headed bouncer,

“Matthias Densen, Lego store,” he said with a grin, then returned the high five that the bouncer held his hand up for as he let him through.

Less confidently, Sigurd pulled the crumpled piece of paper from his suit jacket pocket with his name on and signature from Angela, granting him access to the staff party.

“Uh, Sigurd Thomassen, cleaner.” He mumbled, and upon seeing his downcast expression Mads tapped the bouncer on the shoulder,

“One of the best cleaners I know.” He pointed to Sigurd, “ _And_ he keeps the security office vending machine stocked too.” He said with a wink, and the bouncer slapped Sigurd fondly on the back as he let him through,

“Good man, I always wondered who was responsible for putting inches ‘round my waistline with that machine. Happy Christmas, gents, have a good ‘un.”

The bouncer waved them off as they set off through the empty mall for the staff area.

“Wouldn’t it be good if it were this quiet all the time?” Mads laughed as he gazed up at the thousands of tiny lights that made up the Christmas decorations above them as they wandered the empty upper floor.

“There’s something eerie about it tho, huh. Like, as much as we complain about customers, we’d have no job without ‘em.” He continued, then caught Sigurd’s flat gaze as he looked at him, unimpressed,

“Well thanks, Mads, for that depressing little thought.” He said, though couldn’t stop a smile from breaking as he hung his head a little and chuckled to himself. 

As they reached the staff area, music began to drift through the mall, getting louder and louder until Mads reached the door and punched in his keycode.

“Ooh I’ve never been in this staff area before, it’s exciting.” 

A gleeful expression was plastered over his face as he threw the door open, and Sigurd gave the slightest of eye rolls as he stepped in behind Mads, holding the door open for a group of girls that he recognised from footlocker.

-”yet another successful year!” 

They just caught the end of what sounded like a speech as the entirety of the room broke out into cheers and applause and the music grew louder, the beat resonating through Mads’ chest.

He’d barely begun to step through the crowd towards the makeshift bar that had been set up with the promise of free drinks, when he felt an arm thrown over his shoulder.

“Mads! You came!”

It was Michelle, slightly tipsy already, the ends of her pretty red velvet dress revealing her bare feet, high heels no doubt long discarded.

“Nice tux, don’t you scrub up well!” she giggled, smoothing down his lapel. Michelle was a couple of years Mads’ junior, and at first when he learned that a 21 year old had been chosen as store manager over him he was a little bitter. Especially during the first few days when she was first learning the ropes and Mads had to share with her a lot of his own knowledge that made him more than capable for the job. But over recent weeks, she’d really proved herself. She was a great manager, and the fact that she’d given Mads Christmas week off to spend as much time with his family as he could quickly changed Mads opinion of her.

“Of course I came! You look gorgeous!” he leaned in to kiss the air beside her cheek in greeting, then spun her around under his arm in time to the music when she took it. Alfred was at the bar with his friend Gilbert from the sports shop on the ground floor, and the two beckoned him over with a grin when he caught their eye, patting the empty stool between them.

Michelle followed Mads’ eyeline and took the hint that he wanted to go and see them, making her excuses and made a beeline for the buffet.

Turning to look over his shoulder to ask Sigurd what he wanted to drink, Mads’ brow raised a little when he found him talking to Anya from the frozen yoghurt stand, his cheeks pink in contrast to his pale hair in the dim light as he smiled at something she said. Not wanting to disturb them, Mads waved his hand to get his attention then pointed to the bar, silently mouthing the word “drink”, and only turned to leave when Sigurd acknowledged him with a nod and held up 5 fingers, signalling he’d join him soon.

It wasn’t until Mads’ back was turned did he let his face fall a little, but he wasn’t down for long at all once he slid onto the bar stool between his friends.

\-------------

9pm rolled around, and the buffet had now been taken away, making room for more space on the dance floor as the DJ set up her turntables. Mads slammed his empty glass down onto the bar, signalling politely with a smile for the bartender to pour him another glass.

“Are you _sure_ you don’t wanna drink, Siggy?” he asked for what must have been the third time leaning around Alfred to look at Sigurd where he was perched beside him on the bar stool at the far end.

Sigurd held up his hand and shook his head,

“Honestly, I’m fine. I told you I don’t drink, but that shouldn’t stop you. Have fun, Mads.” Sigurd raised his voice a little to be heard over the music, cast Mads a smile and then pulled his phone from his pocket and frowned.

“Oooh, did you get her number?” Alfred teased lightly, leaning to rest his head on Sigurd’s shoulder.

“What? What are you talking about?” he asked, turning to look at Alfred and tilted his phone screen away from his line of sight.

“That girl! Anya! We saw you talking to her. She’s real pretty, you got a catch there.” Gilbert joined in, laughing loudly over the music.

“Oh,” Sigurd said in realisation, the shook his head, “No, it’s not Anya. I uh, I was just expecting a call from my son, that’s all.”

Alfred and Gilbert exchanged glances, and Sigurd looked a little dejected as though he expected them to start jeering and laughing, but instead Gilbert hopped down from his stool and came over to stand on the other side of Sigurd,

“Aw! How old is he? You got any pics?” Alfred cooed, and Mads watched as Sigurd’s face lit up.

“Well, I have a couple… let me find a recent one,”

He spent a moment flipping through his photo album, his finger moving across the screen quickly, then stopped when he found the one he was looking for. Getting up also from his seat, Mads poked his head through the gap between Sigurd’s shoulder and Alfred’s head to look at the photo on Sigurd’s screen. It was a photo of Emil in the park, dressed smartly in a yellow button down coat as he fed the ducks in the pond with a stale loaf of bread.

“Well ain’t he a cutie, dude, he really looks like ya!” Alfred exclaimed, and Sigurd’s smile grew even wider,

“You really think so?”

“Totally! He’s got your eyes bro. He’s real sweet. Show us another one?” Gilbert added.

Turning over his shoulder to look up at Mads, Sigurd was beaming.

\--------------

By the time midnight struck and Mads was starting to feel a little fuzzy, he and Sigurd decided that it was time to take their leave. It took them at least half an hour to get from one side of the dancefloor to the other as several people pulled them each to one side to wish them merry Christmas before they left. Mads’ feet were aching from dancing so much, and Sigurd’s borrowed tie had long since been discarded, bunched up in his pocket as beads of sweat began to form on his chest causing him to undo a couple of buttons.

When the pair of them stepped outside into the night, though, Sigurd quickly began to shiver a little without a coat, and so Mads took his tuxedo jacket off and slung it over Sigurd’s shoulders, his own beer jacket keeping him warm.

“I didn’t know that Angela could _move_ like that, bro!” Mads exclaimed once they were halfway down the street, his voice echoing off the city buildings that towered above them.

Sigurd laughed, covering his hand with his mouth, “I know, I was sure that she was going to knock someone out the way she was flailing her arms around like that.” he said, then laughed even harder when Mads began to imitate her in the middle of the street, grinning wildly and flailing his arms around.

“Man, I hope that someone filmed her. I coulda swiped it to use as blackmail the next time she’s mean to ya.”

“She’s not that bad. Well, she’s eased off anyway after whatever it is you did.”

Tapping the edge of his nose as he walked backwards in front of Sigurd, Mads stumbled a little,

“I’ll never reveal my secrets, but glad ta hear that it worked.” He winked, then turned around just as they came to the entrance of the subway.

Mads was about to begin down the steps when Sigurd stopped walking, a brow raised and an amused look on his face.

“I thought that we were gonna walk home?”

“Not in these shoes, we aren’t. I’ve got blisters the size of Russia on the back of my heel, I can feel ‘em.” Mads whined, taking another defiant step further into the metro station, looking up at Sigurd with puppy dog eyes, “besides, we’re not in a rush this time, so we’ll actually pay for a ticket.”

Sigurd couldn’t argue with Mads’ plea, nor his reasoning, and so he jogged down the first few steps to stop beside Mads and linked his arm to stop him from stumbling as he swayed a little.

Tickets firmly in hand this time, they didn’t have to wait long for the next train out of the city, and were only on the platform for a couple of minutes before they were bundled up within the warmth of the metro car.

“Didja have fun tonight?” Mads mumbled, his eyes half lidded and speech slurred a little as he leant messily on the window. He gazed at Sigurd, watching the way that his lips tugged over his teeth when he smiled, how his eyes wrinkled and his nose scrunched a little.

“Yeah, I really did. I love Emil to death, you know I do, but tonight I felt like _Sigurd_ again for the first time in a long time, and not just ‘ _Dad_ ’.”

The lull of the metro as it sped along pinned Mads in his drunken state against the window as he continued to look at Sigurd, only really half listening to his response but it still warmed his heart all the same.

“Well, you’ve always been Sigurd to me.” He mumbled, then watched as Sigurd slowly reddened, starting at his neck and working all the way up his face.

The next stop was theirs, and Sigurd led Mads off the metro and up the steps at the station until they emerged out onto the street below the apartment block.

“D’ya wanna sleep in my apartment tonight?” Mads offered as he heaved the heavy door open and stepped into the lobby.

Sigurd turned to look at him as he called for the elevator,

“W-what do you mean?” he asked, and Mads shrugged,

“Well, Em’s gonna be asleep ain’t he, so instead of wakin’ him up to take him back up to your place you can just sleep in my bed with him ‘til mornin’ and I’ll sleep in the couch.” He rambled, stepping into the elevator when it arrived.

Sigurd shook his head,

“You know, your Danish accent slips out more when you’re drunk.” He mocked, leaning lazily on the wall of the elevator once the doors had closed and it hummed to life.

“And Emil will be fine being woken up for a couple minutes if it means sleeping in his own bed. But thanks for the offer, I really appreciate it.”

Mads nodded, slightly disappointed with Sigurd’s refusal now that he was drunk enough to allow cloudy thoughts, but he soon snapped out of it when the elevator doors opened outside his apartment.

“-it’s okay, Emil! I promise! Just listen to me, alright? _Please.”_

The sound of wailing and shrieking filled the hallway, Mette’s voice barely audible over it from inside of Mads’ apartment. A neighbour from two doors down had their head poked out of their door and frowned at Sigurd as he stepped out of the elevator, his face now as white as sheet.

Suddenly, all traces of Mads’ drunken haze were gone as he retrieved his keys from his pocket and fumbled with them in the lock and he winced as another one of Emil’s cries sounded through the corridor.

“ _No_! I want my Mummy! I want my Mummy!”

“He’s been going for an hour, that kid!” the neighbour unhelpfully added with a shake of their head, and when Mads took another look at Sigurd his bottom lip was trembling. As soon as the door was open, Sigurd rushed inside, Mads right behind him, to find the apartment a wreck, toys thrown everywhere, and Mette was standing in the middle looking much like a rabbit caught in headlights.

“Where is he, what’s going on?” Sigurd demanded, gaze locking with Mette’s who looked close to tears herself. She pointed toward the bedroom where the frantic sobs were coming from,

“He’s closed himself in the bedroom and is sitting in front of the door so that I can’t open it. I didn’t want to burst in and hurt him so I-“

Mads cut his sister off quickly by holding up a hand to silence her, pursing his lips.

“You’re not my mummy, you’ll never be her! You’ll never take her away, she’s _my_ mummy! I w-want her,”

Emil’s tiny voice was hoarse as he shrieked through the apartment, sobs breaking from his chest between words,

“Emil! Emil, it’s Dad, it’s me. What’s wrong, _skatt_? Please open the door,” Sigurd flew across the room and dropped to his knees outside Mads’ bedroom door,

There was a loud thump as though Emil had slammed his fists on the other side of the door, causing Sigurd to flinch,

“Emil Jenkins, you stop this right this instant!” Sigurd raised his voice louder than Mads had ever heard him speak, his throat rasping as he did so, and Emil stopped screaming immediatley, his sobs melting into hiccupping snivels.

“Come out here right now.” Sigurd continued, standing up and scowling at the door, waiting for it to open with his finger pointed to the space on the floor between his feet. An excruciating minute passed, and then eventually Emil cracked the door open and slunk out. His face was bright red and tear stained, and his nose was running down his chin and dripping onto his pyjama top.

“She t-tried to replace my m-mummy. I thought y-you weren’t gonna come back for me. I thinked you were gone f- for- forever.” Emil wept against Sigurd’s leg as he clung to it, and no sooner had it overcome him, Sigurd’s air of authority over his son crumbled as he bent down to scoop him up, holding him close and placed a lingering kiss against his forehead.

“Daddy isn’t going anywhere, I’m right here, baby.” He cooed, speaking into Emil’s hair as he swayed back and forth rocking him gently.

Mette took hold of Mads hand and squeezed it tightly. He squeezed it back.

“But Mummy isn’t. Where is she? W-Why can’t I see her?”

Sigurd didn’t say anything, and instead a tear rolled down his cheek, collecting on his chin before it dripped away,

“You’ll see her soon, _skatt_ , I promise. And I’ll never leave you again. Ever. I've got you.” Sigurd whispered, then finally his eyes met with Mads’, and it was as though his whole world had collapsed around him.

He stood there for a few more minutes, gently swaying to and fro as a thick tension grew throughout the apartment,

“Sigurd, I’m so sorry, I tried to call you but I think you wrote your number down wrong and-“

“It’s no one fault. Not mine, not yours, not Emil’s.” Sigurd interrupted, though a bitter tone had now risen in his voice,

“I didn’t say that it was your fault, or mine, but I just-“ Mette took a step forward, letting go of Mads’ hand, but was silenced again as Sigurd held Emil close to his chest, concealing his face within the crook of his neck, and crossed the apartment.

“Please, Mette. Don’t.” he warned, his words coming out strangled from his throat, then he turned his attention to Mads.

“I think it’s best if you don’t, uh, come to, y’know,” he nodded toward the Christmas play invitation on the refrigerator, “I think we need to focus on just family for a little while.”

Sigurd could barely finish his sentence as fresh tears sprang to his eyes as he pushed past Mads and hurried for the open door. Then, he stopped in the doorway for a moment and hitched Emil a little further up his hip as he freed a hand to reach into his pocket.

He placed Mads’ tie down on the back of the couch, but didn’t look back before he disappeared into the corridor. All Mads could do was watch his back while his heart shattered.

  
  
  
  
  



	12. Chapter Twelve

**Chapter Twelve**

“Mads, I _love_ it!” Mabel stood up from the couch and flung her arms around her brother's neck, pulling him down into a hug before she let go again and slipped her legs into the blanket she’d just unwrapped. Then, she pulled her hair from her ponytail and let it fall about her waist as she wiggled her legs around, 

“Finally, I’m officially Ariel!” she said triumphantly, her smile so wide that her cheeks were pinching. In that moment, she wasn’t the 27 year old executive business woman, she was the excitable Disney fanatic and sibling.

“I’m so glad ya like it, Mabes. Though you’ve always been Ariel to me,” he gave her a wink, his own smile just as wide as his sisters. 

It was Christmas Eve, and like how things were back in Denmark, Mads’ family always exchanged their gifts on the 24th. 

Mads’ apartment wasn’t large enough for an extravagant Christmas tree, and so the little 4 foot tree was nearly buried beneath a pile of presents so large the Densen's had to check a separate suitcase of luggage just to fit them all in. 

“You gotta open my gift to you next, that’s how it goes!” Mabel stood up again and hopped over to the Christmas tree still with her legs in her blanket and rummaged around in the pile of gifts until she found the one she was looking for. 

She retrieved a long, sleek black box finished with red ribbon and passed it to Mads as she flopped back down onto the couch opposite, swinging her ‘tail’ up to rest over Martha’s lap where she sat beside her.

“It’s technically from me _and_ Martha. She helped me pay for it.” 

She glanced at the box in Mads’ hands, then her gaze flickered to meet his, her expression now softer. The box was weighty, and Mads ran his finger over the smooth red ribbon for a moment before wiggling his eyebrows at Mabel while pulling it untied. Then, letting the ribbon fall to the floor, Mads took the lid off and pushed apart the tissue paper inside. His fingers brushed against cold metal, and when he pulled the object from the box he gasped as a lump formed in his throat. 

The bronze coloured metal was so polished that Mads’ could see his own reflection as he read over the lettering engraved on the front of the desk name plate.

“Mr Matthias Densen - Social Worker.” he read the words under his breath, then turned it over when his forefinger felt more engraving on the back and his vision quickly became blurred with tears,

‘ _Vi Elsker Dig_ ’ was written on the back, and Mads’ sniffed messily to stop his nose from running as he looked at it.

“You always were a cry baby,” Martha teased, then her voice turned gentle, “do you like it?” she asked gingerly. 

Tears streamed down Mads’ face as he snapped his head up and stared at her, laughing through them as they rolled down his cheeks,

“ _Of course I do_!” he cried, quickly setting the name plate down on the coffee table in front of him before he leapt up and dived onto the couch, smothering his sisters in a warm hug, ignoring Mabel’s complaints that he was squashing her foot as he whispered several ‘thank you’s’ to them. 

“It’s true, we love you so much. You just gotta promise me that by the end of next year you’ll have it displayed on your very own desk.” Martha said, her voice muffled from where her face was pressed in the crook of Mads’ neck as he hugged her,

“I promise, Mart, I promise I will.” Mads sobbed, suddenly overcome with emotion at the thoughtful gift, and the fact that his sisters really thought that he could do it even if right now he had more doubt than ever. 

\----------

By the time the family had gotten through their presents and everyone's cheeks were aching from laughing and smiling, Mads began to gather discarded wrapping paper that was strewn all over the living room and empty packets of snacks that had been munched on all morning into a refuse bag as his father began to peel the vegetables for Christmas dinner prep in the kitchen. His Mother bustled around him, constantly getting in his way as she made a late breakfast, but Anders would never complain about his wife nor be bothered by her, and Mads’ sisters were busy huddled up on the couch watching a movie. Snow was falling outside and was beginning to stick, and it would have been the perfect Christmas if Mads’ had been able to stop thinking about Sigurd. 

While everyone else was preoccupied for a little while, Mads tied up the bag of rubbish and slipped out of his apartment and into the hall, closing the door so slowly behind him that it didn’t make a sound when it locked. He leant against it for a moment, the back of his head resting against it as he looked up at the ceiling above, imagining how Sigurd and Emil would be spending their Christmas eve.

Then, Mads smiled to himself, thinking about how Emil had told him how he’d wished for snow for christmas so that he could build a snowman. Almost as if someone out there really had been listening, snowfall had started early that morning, and by now the world outside was buried under 2 inches of freshly fallen snow. 

Pushing himself away from the door with a sigh, Mads shook his head free of thoughts of Emil and Sigurd as he began down the stairs to the basement. The closer he got to the basement the colder the air became, and when Mads opened the door and stepped out into the car park beneath the apartment complex by the communal rubbish bins he felt goosebumps rush over his skin at the sudden blast of winter air. 

A car was parked up in the visitor spot closest to the bins, engine still running and the headlights on full beam. Mads didn’t pay too much attention to it until the door cracked open and someone called his name. 

Pausing with his hand on the lid of the bin ready to raise it, Mads turned to look over his shoulder and squinted at the car. 

“I thought that was you! I didn’t know you lived in this complex too.” 

Mads recognised the chipper voice before his eyes had time to adjust in the bright light of the car headlights bouncing off the wall to see who he was talking to. But sure enough, when they stood up further out of the car and leant over the top of the open door and Mads could see them better, he smiled at Timo.

“Hey Timo, you’re a bit early to be here delivering presents, aren’t ya?” Mads teased, raising his hand that was clutching the rubbish bag to tap his finger to his wrist watch, “The kids aren’t even in bed yet.”

He grinned at his own joke, and watched as Timo rolled his eyes and laughed a little,

“Even Santa needs some time off duty. But don’t worry, I’ve put a word in with the _real_ Santa about what all the kids asked me for so he should be right on time tonight.” Timo tapped the side of his nose with a wink,

“But anyway, I’m just here to give Sigurd a lift, that’s all. Did you know he lived in the same complex?” he continued, and Mads stiffened a little. 

Timo swung to and fro slightly on the car door, resting his chin on his arms as they rested on it.

“Yeah, I do know that.” Mads said, his tone now a little cold, “Where are you giving him a lift to?” 

Timo shrugged a little and averted his gaze, 

“Oh, uh, to, um, just to see a family member for Christmas. He doesn’t drive you see, and I already have a child seat for my own son, so I offered to drive him and Emil to see them.”

Mads could tell that probably out of respect for Sigurd’s privacy, Timo hadn’t told him the full story, nor did he know that Mads already knew about Natalie and the fact that she was in rehab. It was kind of Timo, but the thought that Sigurd hadn’t even mentioned him to Timo after all he’d done for him and instead had gone running straight to someone else caused anger to rise within Mads. And now he was taking Emil to the rehab centre too.

He opened the bin and slung the rubbish bag inside, then let the lid slam closed causing a loud sound to echo around the car park. 

“Well, that’s nice of you. Have a good Christmas, Timo.” 

Mads turned and took his leave before even waiting for Timo to respond and stepped back into the stairwell. He took the stairs back up to his apartment two at a time, his anger burning the back of his throat along with his breath as he reached the 3rd floor. He stood for a moment, his breathing echoing in the small space as he gazed at the stairs leading up one more flight to the 4th floor. Part of him wanted to continue up them and have it out with Sigurd, or stay where he was and hope he’d bump into him as he went down to Timo. But that part of him wasn’t big enough to will him to actually do it. Instead, Mads just sighed heavily and hung his head, his anger dissolving back into the dull sadness that had been lingering in the pit of his stomach for the past few days. 

He slipped through the door to the hall and trudged along it until he reached his front door, smiling weakly as the sounds of happiness in the voices of his family drifted through it as he pushed down on the handle.

Once back inside, Mads made his way to the fridge and took out the cookie dough he’d prepared last night. Emil’s christmas play invitation fluttered on the front of the fridge door as Mads closed it with his elbow. He placed the bowl containing the cookie dough under his arm and pulled it off, sliding it out gently from beneath the magnet that pinned it there. 

The play had been yesterday, and Mads had kept Emil in his thoughts, silently hoping that it went well for him as he recited the lines he’d hear Emil practice over and over for the past couple of weeks in his head when 3pm had rolled around and he knew that Emil would be taking the stage. 

Then, as something pressed down on his shoulder, Mads jumped and turned to find that Mabel was peering over his shoulder to see what he was looking at, her chin resting on it gently. When she realised, he heard her sigh softly, her breath tickling the side of his neck in her exhale. 

“Hey,” she mumbled, “You shouldn’t let this bother you so much.”

Her chin slid away and she stepped back when Mads turned around to face her and put the bowl down on the kitchen table.

“None of it was your fault. You’re too nice for your own good.” Mabel continued, crossing her arms firmly.

Taking a final look at the drawing, Mads folded it up and tucked it away in the draw in the kitchen counter behind him with the rest of the paperwork and bills he needed to keep safe.

“It’s not just that, Mabel, I just… It’s more than what happened with Mette.” Mads said quietly, feeling anxieties that he thought he was over begin to swirl in his stomach.

“All I’m saying is that you don’t need a friend who treats you like this after all you’ve done. I wouldn’t even go as far as to call him a friend-”

“Mabel, dear, can you go and show your father how to connect his iPad to Mads’ internet? He wants to watch the game,”

Gitte interrupted, placing her hand on her daughter's shoulder, earning a sigh from Mabel as she spun on her heel and obliged the request. Then she turned to Mads, a soft expression on her wrinkled face.

“Shall we go for a walk?”

  
  


\---------

There was something satisfying about being the first person to walk across freshly fallen snow, leaving the first footprints and listening to the soft crunch underfoot. Mads couldn’t remember the last time that it had snowed this heavily while he’d been living in England, and so ambling through the streets with chill-bitten cheeks and cold hands stuffed into coat pockets with his mother brought on a sudden wave of nostalgia and a feeling of home that Mads hadn’t realised he’d missed. 

The streets were quiet as they walked along; the big office buildings closed and in darkness while their employees were at home with their families, and car parks eerily empty. 

“You can’t please everyone in your line of work, Matthias. As long as you remember that you were able to make a difference to someone's life, that's the important thing. By the sounds of it, you’d made a significant difference to that little boy's life, whether he’s old enough to understand or not doesn’t matter as long as _you_ know.” Gitte said, taking her hand from her pocket for a moment to gently pat the back of it over Mads’ heart beneath his chest. 

“As a mother of four beautiful children, I can’t begin to imagine the struggles that young Sigurd is probably facing right now. You said he wasn’t together with his partner anymore, right?”

Mads nodded, his breath clouding around him as he exhaled shortly,

“Yeah, but he still cares for her.”

Gitte laughed, “Of course he does.” she said, then paused for a moment to peer over the hedgerow that surrounded the city park as they walked past,

“There isn’t just one type of love, you know. There’s passionate, romantic love, the type that everyone first thinks about when they hear the word. Then there’s a parents love, a love that never quite goes away no matter how old your children get,” she glanced up at Mads, 

“and then there’s _real_ love. Genuine love. The type of love that means you’ll do anything for a person. You know what makes them happy, what makes them sad, and it’s a love that’s hard to let go of. But it’s also a love that isn’t easily broken, can last forever, and is rarely one sided.” 

Slipping her hand through the crook of Mads’ arm, Gitte linked with her son as they carried on walking down the street.

“He’ll come around, just give him time. And in the meantime, you’ve got a lot to be getting on with that you have him to thank for.”

Mads knew that his mother was talking about Sigurd, but didn’t understand her second point.

“Whaddya mean, Ma?” he asked, and watched as she smiled to herself and kept her gaze ahead of them,

“Well, for starters, you’ve got your mediator licence on it’s way, something I don’t think you’d have applied for yourself if it weren’t to help Mr Thomassen.”

“I would have! Eventually, anyway.” Mads protested, feeling his cheeks heat a little at the thought that his mother could read him so well. In truth, he’d been apprehensive at mediating for even Sigurd, his friend, but didn’t have the heart to refuse him. 

“He’s also given you a glimpse into the life of a real person that needs your help through his partner. Natalie, I think her name is? And it’s been much different from the textbooks, right?” 

There was a lilt to Gitte’s voice as she spoke, and when she looked up and Mads once more and he caught her eye, there was nothing but pride etched onto her features. 

“I know that this year has been tough, and you probably think I’m just saying this because I’m your mother, but if there’s anyone suited to social work, then it’s you, darling. You just need to have faith in yourself like so many people have in you. I didn’t let my only son and youngest child, my baby, move all the way to England if I didn’t think you could do it.”

Gitte finished by tightly squeezing Mads’ arm where she was linking it with hers, and like himself she was blinking back tears. 

Not usually one to be lost for words, Mads’ couldn’t think of what to say to his mother as he let her words sink in. He did love Sigurd, but not in the way everyone else might think, and now, thanks to his own mother of all people, it all suddenly made sense. Despite the cold air, the sadness Mads’ felt inside began to thaw a little. 

The walk back to the apartment was filled with conversation topics much less hard hitting, and Mads listened as Gitte enthused about how life was back in Denmark. She shared gossip about Mette, Martha and Mabel, telling Mads about how she was sure that Martha’s boyfriend would propose this year, and that Mabel had been thinking of moving to Germany with the company she worked for. 

As they neared the complex, Mads couldn’t help but look up at the window above his own, softly illuminated behind the drawn curtains. He thought about Sigurd and Emil inside, Emil probably chatting away to himself while he sprawled out across the living room rug, and Sigurd was most likely curled up beside him on the couch with his nose in a book. Then he thought about his own family just below, their dynamic very different, but both apartments housed families all the same.

Just as Mads was about to open the door to the apartment block and step in out of the cold, he stopped for a moment and turned back to face his mother. 

Her nose was bright red and her cheeks were flushed from the cold, and Mads realised just how long it might be before he would see her again after this visit was over. 

Without a word, as none were needed, he stepped forward to bring her in for a hug. Either she’d got shorter or he’d gotten impossibly taller since he’d last seen her, Mads wasn’t sure, but he stooped down to rest his chin atop her head.

“What’s all this about?” she laughed, her voice muffled against his chest as she returned the hug, squeezing her arms tightly around his waist until he let go and stepped back again.

“Just to say thanks, Ma.” Mads said with sincerity.

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. Now come on,” Gitte shooed Mads towards the door, “let's get back to the rest of our crazy bunch, I’m going to need some mulled wine to warm me up.”

  
  


\--------

Christmas day came and went in the blink of an eye, as did the two blissful days afterwards. So much so that Mads was a little shocked by how sad it had made him to wave his family off as they stepped through the gate and onto the plane, blowing kisses and waving furiously until they were out of sight, and had cried all the drive back home from the airport. 

When it was time to put on his work uniform again Mads was genuinely, and pleasantly, suprised that his trousers still buttoned after spending 9 days baking, drinking, and watching cheesy christmas movies one after the other. 

He fixed his hair in the mirror and took a long look at himself, a frown forming across his brow as he smoothed down a stubborn crease in the front of his red polo shirt. Soon it would be January, a new year, and Mads was determined now more than ever after being reminded just what he’d come to England to do when his family left him behind at the airport yesterday. He looked at the logo on his shirt and remembered Liz’s parting words to him before she went on maternity leave.

_‘If I come back and find that you’re still here as a sales assistant and not out in the world helping people who need someone like you, I’ll be annoyed.’_

Then, he glanced to the desk name plate that he’d placed on his dresser for now and took in a breath,

“Don’t worry, Liz. I won’t be.” he said, looking himself straight in the eye before crossing the apartment to grab his keys, shoes and coat and left for work.

*

The days in between Christmas and New year always felt a little strange, as though the world was stuck in a waiting lobby, still on a bit of a happiness high after Christmas but anticipating the new year, now ready for change, a fresh start. 

After a busy spell, the Lego store had now gone quiet save for a couple of customers milling around, and Mads was glad of the breather. 

“So, did you have a good Christmas then, hun?” Michelle took advantage of the quiet to wander over and lean against the counter, smiling brightly at Mads.

“I really did. Thank you so much for letting me have it off,” Mads beamed back at her and watched as she made a swatting motion with her hand,

“It was the least I could do. I’ll be sad to lose you, y’know. Liz said you were thinkin’ of pursuing your career, which is great, but I’ve just lost Sigurd as you know so don’t you think of quitting any time soon!” she said, pointing her finger at Mads, but then her face fell when she saw what must have been the obvious shock on Mads’ face at what she just said.

“Mads, I’m kidding! I really will be sad to lose a good employee, but you can leave whenever-”

“Wait, did you say you’ve lost Sigurd? How? Where’s he gone?” Mads demanded, and Michelle stood up and blinked at him.

“He handed in his notice. I thought you knew. He called up just before Christmas. Sorry, I shouldn’t have assumed…” Michelle trailed off and Mads closed his eyes for a moment, an attempt to stop whatever feelings were rising in his chest to reach the surface. In the end, he just laughed a little cynically and shook his head,

“Of course he has.” he muttered, then excused himself to straighten the shelves.


	13. Chapter Thirteen

**Chapter Thirteen**

The slam of Mads’ car door echoed in the car park as he got out and made a dash for the apartment block foyer. He barged through the double doors, opening them with a push of his shoulder, and began up the stairs straight to the 4th floor. 

Since finding out from Michelle that Sigurd had handed in his notice, Mads had felt like a rock had been thrown at his gut. For the duration of his shift he’d been in a sour mood, his mind jumping to every possible conclusion, and he wasn’t sure if he was more upset by the fact that Sigurd was clearly able to cut him off without so much as a second thought, or if it were that Sigurd had been doing so _well_ and had now taken several paces backwards. But Mads didn’t have too much time to decide before he was standing on the doormat outside Apartment 43. 

He stood for a moment to catch his breath, his chest heaving from climbing the stairs so quickly, and his eyes wandered to the two pairs of shoes that were always neatly lined up beside the mat. But Mads’ heart quickly lurched when he stared at Sigurd’s Vans, the laces no longer dull and greyed, no hole in the sole or faded label on the back. They were the exact same pair he’d always had - just brand new. 

The wreath on Sigurd’s front door was still hanging there, but it had now gone limp and when Mads brought his knuckles up to knock sharply on the door a couple dead and dry holly leaves fell off and landed by his feet. 

“Sigurd, I know you’re in there.” Mads said through a sigh when the door didn’t open. He crumpled against it, resting his forehead on the thin wood of the door and knocked again, this time softer and half-hearted. 

Then, when there was still no answer, Mads swallowed thickly and pushed away from Sigurds door, turning on his heel and began to trudge down the corridor. It was as though the past few months hadn’t happened at all, and suddenly Sigurd was just his upstairs neighbour who Mads didn’t know as well as he thought. 

He’d just called for the elevator when the sound of little feet thundering down the corridor could be heard, and Mads turned around just as Emil flung his arms around his legs and he had to steady himself against the wall to steady himself.

“Mads! You’re back! We missed you!” Emil cried, his voice a little muffled from where his face was pressed against Mads’ leg as he hugged him tightly. Mads’ hands hovered above Emil’s head, unsure whether to return the hug as he lifted his gaze and found Sigurds. He was standing stiff in the corridor, his eyes wide and mouth slightly agape as he stared at Mads. He only tore his eyes away when Emil let go of Mads and took a step back, looking between him and his Dad in the middle of the corridor. 

The elevator chimed and the door slid open, but Mads didn’t get in.

Instead he turned and watched as Sigurd beckoned Emil back over to him and listened as he scolded him lowly for opening the door and running out, but was interrupted by a female voice calling from within the apartment.

“Emil, come in here please and let your Dad talk.” 

Sigurd tensed a little and remained stooped over a little even after Emil had left his side and scampered back into the apartment. He bit his lip anxiously, and Mads turned to face him, a sudden feeling of warmth and hope rising within his chest,

“Was- Is that... Nat?” he asked tentatively, and watched as Sigurd slowly straightened up and nodded, a tiny, proud smile playing at the corner of his mouth. 

Then, without a second thought, Mads closed the gap between himself and Sigurd, and stopped just inches in front of him. A grin stretched across his face for a moment, so wide that his eyes creased, but it soon faltered when he remembered exactly what it was that had brought him up here and his brow furrowed.

Sigurd sighed softly and his face fell,

“I think we need to talk.” he said, and Mads felt the hairs on the back of his neck prickle at the weight in his voice.

There was a tension between them, and it was though Mads could physically feel it, like a wall stopping him from reaching out and touching Sigurd even though he was right in front of him. 

“But not here. That is- if you even _want_ to talk to me…” Sigurd trailed off and took a step back, the wall between them growing taller until Mads could barely see over it anymore.

“Come down to my apartment when you’re ready. I’ll leave the door unlocked.” he said through pursed lips, then when Sigurd nodded hesitantly he turned on his heel and hopped into the elevator, letting out a shuddered breath that echoed once the doors had closed. 

Mads’ hand trembled a little as he put his keys in the lock and let himself into his apartment, and once inside he headed straight for the kitchen and poured a glass of water. He stood for a moment at the sink and stared at his slightly obscured reflection in the window as he took a few sips. The sky beyond it was dusky, with the last of the sun casting a pink tinge over the clouds as it set. 

Unable to settle, Mads paced the kitchen floor a little and drummed his fingers against the side of the glass of water as he held it. His heart was hammering in his chest, and eventually he had to put the glass down on the table when his palms began to grow clammy so that it didn't slip from his grip. 

He wasn’t sure what it was that was causing him to worry, to fret, to pace, until there was a gentle knock at the door before it clicked open and Sigurd gingerly stepped into the apartment. Only then, upon seeing Sigurd, did a tidal wave of relief wash over Mads. 

“Hi.”

“Hey.”

From across the apartment they exchanged awkward greetings, and Mads collapsed into a chair at the kitchen table when Sigurd closed the door behind him. Beneath the table Mads extended his leg out and pushed the chair opposite him out with his foot for Sigurd to take a seat. He did so, perching on the edge of it and sat with his hands clasped tightly in front of him on the table. There was a silence, broken only by the occasional sound of Sigurd’s knee gently hitting the underside of the table as he jittered his leg anxiously. 

“So were you planning to tell me at any point that you’d quit your job, or was I supposed to find out through Michelle all along?” 

Mads was the first to speak, and surprised even himself with how accusatory he sounded as the words left his lips.

Sigurd narrowed his eyes, and Mads didn’t miss how the skin over his knuckles pulled white a little. 

“If you really want full custody of Emil then it’ll be pretty hard to do that while you’re unemployed.” 

At this, Sigurd blinked and scoffed. He leant back in his chair and crossed his arms across his chest, a thin eyebrow raising as he looked at Mads incredulously.

“You really think I’m stupid enough to just _quit my job_?”

Mads threw his hands up in the air and sighed through his nose,

“No, I just- it’s so sudden, and you didn’t talk to me about it-”

“I don’t have to talk to you about anything, Mads.” Sigurd interrupted, his tone firm and arms still tightly folded.

Dropping his hands to the table, Mads’ face fell, and he shrank a little under Sigurd’s glare. Realising that he wasn’t expressing what he meant properly, Mads was quiet for a moment, carefully choosing his words before he spoke again,

“I didn’t mean it like that.” He began, placing his elbows on the table and slumped into his palms, dragging them across his face, “It’s just… you _left_ just like that, and I don’t know if it’s because of me, or because of Mette, and honestly it _hurts,_ Sig, that’d you’d just cast me to the side _.”_

Mads clenched a fist over his chest as though to demonstrate the feeling that hadn’t left for the last few days, and cringed inwardly at the tremble in his voice. 

Sigurd tipped his head back and looked at the ceiling for a moment, and Mads’ frown lifted a little when he noticed the slight quiver of Sigurd’s lower lip and the scrunch of his chin.

“I wanted to talk to you, I really did, but I didn’t think you’d want to talk to _me_.” He said, and Mads sat upright,

“I was embarrassed about how I acted the night of the party, and it scared me how quick I was to cut you out after all you’ve done for me. It seems that I’m good at ruining things.”

When Sigurd brought his head back down and his gaze met Mads’, his eyes were glassy.

“I wanted to come right back down and apologise the moment I’d left, but I was too proud to admit that I’d treated you and Mette wrongly. I’ve always been bad at admitting my mistakes and-”

At this point, Sigurd was struggling to hold back tears and tore his gaze away from Mads to look at anything but his face.

“and I’ve made a _lot_ of mistakes, Mads.”

Mads stood up from his chair and leant across the table when Sigurd finally broke, practically lying on it as he reached to take Sigurd’s wrists in his hands and pulled them away from his face.

“Hey, you don’t ruin things. You _haven’t_ ruined things.” He said, not taking his eyes away from Sigurd’s face, willing him to look at him, but his eyes were screwed shut, his eyelashes wet with tears,

“I would have if it weren’t for you! Don’t you see that? Natalie is on her way to getting clean, and is upstairs with my son- no, _her_ son, _our son_ , because of _you_! I was so blinded by my past, my experiences, my own personal issues to see that I was the one always causing the damage. It took meeting you to make me see that, and I’m so sorry.”

Mads leant up from the table and hurried around it, dropping to his knees beside Sigurd’s chair and gathered him against his chest as he cried against it. He didn’t say anything, or try to stop Sigurd, and instead he just held him until he couldn’t cry any more.

Only when the last few hiccupping sobs died in Sigurd’s throat did Mads let go and placed his hands firmly on his shoulders.

“Sigurd, listen to me. Natalie is up there with Emil because of you.” He nodded toward the ceiling briefly, then drew in a breath, looking deep into Sigurd’s eyes, 

“All I’ve done is be here for you-“

“But I put you in a position that was hard on you by asking you to be our mediator. I asked you to help me break my family up- God, why did you ever agree to that?“ Sigurd shook his head, his voice hoarse as he wiped away more tears that threatened to fall with his sweater sleeve,

Mads smiled ever so slightly and gently squeezed Sigurd’s shoulder,

“Because I think you knew deep down that I’d never let that happen.” He said quietly, and braced himself for Sigurd’s defensive barrier to go up and for the wall between them to finally be complete. But it never did, and instead the wall crumbled as Sigurd just laughed through his tears and nodded. 

“We’re gonna make it work, Mads, me and Nat. And you… Well,” he paused to lean forward to press a nimble hand to Mads’ chest, his touch warming the skin beneath his t-shirt above his heart, “You’re going to help _so_ many people.”

Sigurd looked down at Mads with an expression filled with nothing short of pure pride, and at his words it was Mads’ turn to get glassy eyed. For the first time he finally believed that he could, but there was still one thing he didn’t understand.

“But what about you, why did you leave the mall?” he asked, removing his hands from where they were resting on Sigurd’s shoulders as he stood up. Sigurd did the same, pushing the chair out with the backs of his knees,

“I got another job. More money, better hours,” he said, then nudged Mads’ with his elbow and smirked when his brows rose and his jaw slackened,

“Don’t get too excited, I’ll still be a cleaner, but instead of dirty toilets and sticky food court tables I’ll be dusting rich people’s houses.” He finished with a shrug and wiped the last of his tears away, leaving his face red and blotchy, but now with a smile on his lips.

“And Natalie?” Mads pressed, his heart in his mouth as Sigurd’s expression softened,

“ _Taking the first steps on her road to recovery_ , to use the nurse’s words.” He said, and there was playful lilt to his voice for a moment before his tone grew solemn again,

“She’s on a Methadone programme, with weekly counselling sessions for the foreseeable future. And she’s serious, Mads. I’ve never seen her look so well and it’s only been a couple of weeks. She’s left Michael, and Gillian is determined to keep her on track.”

Mads’ felt his heart swell and a lump formed in his throat,

“That just leaves Emil…”

*

“Mads! You’re here!”

The moment Mads stepped foot over the threshold and into Sigurd’s apartment he was nearly bowled over as Emil flung himself at him. He scooped him up, gathering the writhing boy into his arms and held him close for a moment while he wrapped his little arms around his neck.

“It snowed, just like I wished for! Did you see?” he babbled excitedly, his face just inches from Mads’ own as he beamed from ear to ear. 

“Dad said that you told Santa that’s what I really really wanted. Thanks Mads, I love you.”

Oblivious to the power of his words, Emil buried his face into Mads’ neck and stayed there for a moment while Mads turned to look at Sigurd who didn’t look stunned at all, and instead just nodded, a wistful expression crossing his features.

“I love you too, bud.” He whispered, and gave Emil one last squeeze before setting him down and quickly wiped his eyes as Natalie approached him and couldn’t help but smile proudly at her as she brought him into a quick hug, standing up on her tiptoes and placed a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you. From the bottom of my heart. _Thank you_.” She said as she stepped back and looked at Mads with such sincerity that he didn’t know what to do with himself other than laugh bashfully,

“You look amazing, Natalie.” He said through a breath, and ran a hand through his hair.

She’d cut her hair into a neat, blunt bob, and her skin though still pale was no longer sickly. She looked full of life, and no longer felt like just a shell of who she was.

Sigurd moved to stand beside her and looked at her as though he’d just fallen in love all over again. 

“I don’t suppose you want to stay for dinner?” he asked tentatively, but before Mads could even answer Natalie had already turned to take herself into the kitchen and Emil bounced up and down excitedly on the spot while he took hold of Mads’ hand.

With no where else he’d rather be, Mads kicked his shoes off and grinned widely,

“Looks like I don’t have a choice.”

\---------------

Over the next few days Mads spent almost every minute of his spare time that wasn’t spent with Sigurd and Emil searching for jobs, and must have sent off over 50 applications to various different positions. He knew that he wouldn’t hear much back from most of them, but quick glances every now and again at the name plate displayed proudly on his dresser that his sisters had gotten for him kept his spirits up. 

Tonight however, after checking his emails and nothing more, Mads snapped his laptop closed, pausing his job search until next year. It was New Years eve, and he had a party to attend. 

Much to little Emil’s delight, the snow had stuck around, with a fresh layer being added every other day, and so Mads made sure to wrap up warm. Pulling a box of winter accessories from the bottom of his wardrobe, Mads picked out a matching hat and scarf and rummaged around for a pair of gloves. Then, when he’d found them he put them on and left his bedroom. With a quick glance at the clock he hurried across his apartment and pulled his boots on, slipped into his coat, and after a quick pat of his pocket to check for keys, wallet, phone, Mads stepped out into the hall. The door clicked closed behind him as he called for the elevator and rocked back and forth on his heels as he waited for it. 

When the doors slid open, Mads rode the elevator down to the lobby and could already hear the chatter and laughter from outside in the courtyard before he even set foot out into the cold.

His breath instantly began to cloud around him as he pushed the front door to the complex open and smiled to himself at the scene before him. 

Spending a moment to savour the feeling of watching his friends together, laughing and celebrating, Mads watched the backs of the heads of Alfred and Gilbert as they laughed heartily at something that Timo said, beers in hand. He chuckled to himself as Emil stood with Peter around the small fire pit that cast a warm glow over everyone's faces and shrieked as he accidentally set fire to the marshmallow on the end of his stick. Then he watched fondly with a full heart as Sigurd moved to crouch beside him and gently took the stick from him, discarded the singed marshmallow, then patiently showed him how to hold the stick further away from the fire and rotate it slowly.

“I thought we were missing someone.”

Mads jumped a little as someone spoke up from beside him, and when he turned his gaze met that of Gillians.

She regarded him for a moment, then attention flickered to Sigurd, then to Natalie, Emil, and back to Mads as she extended her hand out towards him.

“My family owes you a great deal, Mads, and I’m glad to be able to call you a part of it.”

Mads’ breath caught in his throat as he stared between Gillian's face and her hand for a moment before he removed his glove and took her hand in his. 

“I’m honoured, Gillian.” he said as he shook it firmly, and gave Gillian a genuine smile as she let go and nodded for him to follow her.

He did just that, and as they got closer to the fire he could feel its warmth. On the other side, Sigurd still sat crouched with Emil on one side and Peter on the other, both of them watching with excitement as he rotated the marshmallow stick a final time before blowing on it to cool it and passed it to his son. 

Then his eye caught Mads’ through the fire and he beckoned for Natalie to watch over Emil and Peter. She obliged, and Mads’ watched her with pride until he felt Sigurd’s presence beside him and turned to acknowledge him.

“It was good of you to organise this.” Sigurd said softly, letting his eyes cast a final sweep over the company around them before they landed on Mads. 

Despite the darkness, Sigurd’s eyes were the brightest that Mads had ever seen them, and in that moment he swore that as long as he could help it they would stay that way from now on.

“Nah, it’s nothing really.” he grinned and waved a gloved hand in dismissal before returning it to his coat pocket. 

Sigurd rolled his eyes and scoffed, shuffling a little closer to Mads as he blew on his own hands to warm them, 

“It’s _everything,_ Mads. It’s everything I could have ever wanted. Friends, family, and for once in my life I can say that everything is okay.” he enthused, then paused to draw in a deep breath.

Mads waited for a moment as he held it, and glanced at him out the corner of his eye as they both turned their attention to the fire and everyone circled around it. 

“One day I hope to return the favour y’know, cause you deserve everything too.” he said finally, then gasped and looked to the sky as the first of what would be many fireworks shot up and exploded into a shower of blues and reds above them. 

“As long as I’ve got you as my friend, then I got everything right here.” Mads muttered just loud enough for Sigurd to hear above the noise of the fireworks, and watched as he turned to regard him, though he didn’t say anything and instead just slipped his hand through the crook of Mads’ arm and left it there, the single action saying more than any words ever could.

_"Happy New Year, Mads."_

_"Happy New Year, Sig. To the future."_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=a8XTModI4go&ab_channel=DannyCurley if you want to listen to the song and lyrics that heavily inspired this story here's the link to the amazing song "I know a place" by MUNA
> 
> Wow I legit don't know what to put in these notes other than that I've been feeling a lot of things lately and I just wanted to thank each and every one of you for being here with me and reading my stories. 
> 
> I absolutely loved writing every single word of this story, and I really hope you all enjoyed it as much as I did. It started out as something small and ended up turning into one of the fics that I'm most proud of.
> 
> Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
> 
> See you all soon <3
> 
> -lumassen x
> 
> THE END. (?)


End file.
